How Do They Know?

It's no secret that I love my TV. But I had no idea the folks at Nielsen were paying attention to my blog until I got this in the mail.

At first, I was thinking that I work in the news business, so there's no way I'll be able to do this. Then, I opened the survey.

A few basic questions.

UGH. The dreaded age box!

And here's where my fun probably ends.

After checking the box that makes me confess to working in TV, I suppose I'm out. But I will keep the five crisp one dollar bills that came with the survey.

Week In Pop Culture

I don't love her music, but I love Taylor Swift's modesty.

I'm going to let you choose: Ivana Trump in a bikini.

Beyonce is very shiny in her new video.

Mariah Carey is turning her daughter into a mini-diva.

Charlize Theron (remember her?) wants a baby.

Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter split.

Hello, Rafael Nadal.

Rose McGowan's childhood was creepy.

Good news for Jaime Pressly: no jail time.

Hollywood's new obsession: Rashida Jones kissing Zooey Deschanel.

Here's some more DWTS casting news.

Rod Stewart has a Las Vegas show now.

Sean Penn has a new girlfriend.

Cameron Diaz has a stunt bump.

Whoopi Goldberg is doing some good.

I don't believe these rumors about a Rihanna sex tape.

If I have to pick sides, I'm Team Soderbergh.

Jim Carrey is still a little, um, different.

This divorce is not really shocking.

I don't think these Barbie dolls look like their namesakes.

Sara Gilbert and her partner have broken up. Her sister, Melissa, also filed for divorce.

Zoe Saldana is a little handsy while being interviewed by Chelsea Handler.

Farrah Fawcett's and Ryan O'Neal's son won't go to prison.

I can't wait to not read Flavor Flav's memoir.

This whole Glen Campbell thing makes me sad.

Christina Aguilera's son has a black eye, but it's not her fault.

Jason Bateman and his wife are having another baby.

Miley Cyrus is going to be an aunt.

Dude, Brad Pitt kinda looks like a bearded lady.

This engagement ring might be a little too much.

This will give Paris Hilton something to pout about.

Carrie Fisher has lost 50 pounds.

This magazine cover is kind of funny.

Some actor now has twin babies.

Only alcohol/drugs could make a girl think getting in a car with the Girls Gone Wild guy is a good idea.

I'm a little surprised by this Amy Winehouse news.

Kurt Kobain and Courtney Love's daughter looks like a movie star.

SERIOUS SHOCKER: Will and Jada Smith are separating. Or maybe not.

January Jones doesn't have to work hard to make me dislike her. I mean, she's beautiful on the outside, but I don't see much happening on the inside.

If you have a few million, you can buy Brad Pitt's old place.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are having another baby.

Megan Fox is getting rid of a tattoo.

Ryan Gosling is breaking up street fights now.

Here's why I think Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are adorable.

Octomom really needs to get an actual job.

E! has no sense of humor.

Kate Winslet's vacation home caught fire.

You see The Hoff. I see the fabulous trannies surrounding him. I wish I had their legs!

Benicio Del Toro has a baby girl.

What will that MDA telethon be without Jerry Lewis?

A rock couple has a new baby.

Here's a z-list Hollywood engagement.

A former Baywatch babe has a new baby.


The Middle is getting a little funny help.

Sarah Jessica Parker won't let Sex And The City die.

Rihanna is bendy.

Anne Hathaway says she can speak British.

Another Real Housewife is getting a real divorce.

Lindsay Lohan can't get movie work. I guess that's why she's doing this.

This feud made me hungry.

In case you were under a rock: Kim Kardashian got married. She also made a sickening amount of cash off the nuptials.

A country singer married her girlfriend.

Rest in peace, Nick Ashford.

And Jerry Leiber.

Also, Uncle Frank.

And Michael Showers.

Stop Messing With Texas!

CONFESSION: I am a reality TV junkie. This many not be news to all of you, but it's the truth. I'd swear on Rick Perry's hair that there isn't a reality show that I haven't at least watched 30 seconds of in the last few years. But I have to draw the line. The cable networks have gone too far.

When it was about California, I was all, "OOOH! Pretty blondes! Drama! Bad acting! So awful, I can't help but watch it!" I mean, how could you not snicker at these shows?

I could even count that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey marriage curser, which proved blondes may have more fun but they can't tell tuna from chicken. It's all brain candy. And pretty.

And then, the networks seemed to be all about New Jersey.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious - could they make New Jersey look more orange? Could they show me more fights? Can I really see more fake boobs on the East coast than the West coast? Are those dresses or shirts (PS - that's one of my favorite shopping games)? It almost made me want to take a vacation to New Jersey so I could count the stereotypes I had come to recognize from television.

HA! I thought. That's SO not Texas.

And then they came for us.

Big hair, I get. But these people (who appear to be rich, though we know in Texas there's a chance some of them might be thousandaires while giving the impression that they're millionaires) act just like the casts of the shows in California: bratty, whiny, self-absorbed and, well, any other word you could use to describe the jerks from the other shows.

So, I'd like to clarify a few things:

• If Texas ever seceded and became five different states, Dallas-Fort Worth would become its own state. Not since the fictional TV show, Dallas, has the metroplex had such an indulgent image that happens to come with cattle all around.
• Speaking of... We don't all own cattle. We don't all ride horses. In fact, a lot of us don't live on ranches. If you come to Texas and want to make people watching a drinking game, you should choose to drink every time you see us in a gas guzzler instead of on a farm animal. You will be hammered before you get to your hotel.
• You can really stretch a buck in Texas. If you're impressed by the houses here, know that you'd probably have to add a zero to the end of the price to make it comparable in California or New Jersey. Don't be fooled by that.
• We don't all intentionally have big hair. In my neck of Texas, we have humidity. If you are lucky to live in a humidity-free climate, enjoy the good hair days because it makes my hair grow like some creepy horror film character. I'd like my hair to behave, so I fight it's rebellion with a pony tail. It fights back when I sleep. To keep my hair from getting the upper hand, I refuse to take a picture of it. That's how the hair wins.

I will say there is a whole lot of drama in Texas - and a whole lot of curiosity about this great state. I understand why reality show producers are interested in showing that. But I'd like a little disclaimer on this and, to be fair, all reality shows that it does not entirely reflect the state/city - that it's just a glimpse into the lives these people chose to put on camera. After all, they've learned from California and New Jersey that fighting, cattiness and tears bring reality fame. 

That, y'all, is not what makes a Texan lovable. But it might make him/her a few bucks to blow on some tacky boots.

Week In Pop Culture

This is the week's biggest shocker:

I am happy to report Dakota Fanning's hair here is a wig.

Selma Blair is showing off her new baby.

The Hoff's daughters are singing now.

Kirsten Dunst is trying to keep her name out there.

Good to know Donald Trump is trying to live like the rest of us.

NBC is home to another lady comic's show.

I'm pretty sure sharks won't mess with Lady Gaga - look at her nails!

U2 is helping the kids.

Is it wrong to root for these two becoming a couple?

Josh Groban has a gig on The Office.

Kat Von D will no longer be a reality star, but at least she still has Jesse James.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a hero.

Danny DeVito is just NOW getting his star? No wonder he did this!

Poor Brendan Fraser.

People still want to Die Hard?

Oh, Andy Dick.

Michael Kors is married.

If magazines aren't interested in buying your wedding/honeymoon pictures, I suppose this is one way for an "actress" to get some publicity.

These two funny people are engaged.

Megan Fox looks curvier.

Beyonce uses a teleprompter?

Terrorists don't like David Letterman.

This movie sounds made for cable TV.

Julia Roberts still wears bikinis.

Well, here's one way for those Jersey Shore kids to earn some cash.

This French actor grossed me out, but he gave Andersoon Cooper the giggles.

OUCH! Drew Carey broke his collarbone.

Salma Hayek loves her privileged life very much.

Lindsay Lohan is doing this now.

A Captain America star has a new baby.

Britney Spears' ex has a new baby.

That 16-year-old girl who married the 50-something actor is just strange.

Eric Dane is out of rehab and ready to McSteam it up again.

I always find it interesting when celebrities who don't seem to get work say they "quit." RIIIIIGHT.

Anne Hathaway did this.

I still think the remake of The Crow is just silly. Isn't it cursed?

The Talk is losing its livelier hosts.

Here's how Madonna celebrates her 53rd birthday.

Here's some crazy sad drama for one Real Housewife.

What do we have to do to stop the Sex and The City madness?

Taylor Swift had a wardrobe malfunction.

Can I please go to just one Jay-Z party?

I think it's safe for me to speak for Reese Witherspoon when I say no one should be allowed to take photos like this.

Guess who's headed for the soaps now.

Barbara Streisand is coming to your laptop.

Hallelujah! No more Gosselins on TV!

John Mellencamp has made it official (not talking about dropping "Cougar").

One of my favorite memoirs may become a movie.

Adele likes her heartbreaker boys to be funny.

Halle Berry is 45.

My favorite meth makers (on TV, silly - I just say "no" in real life) will be out of business soon.

Brigitte Bardot is saving dogs.

David Copperfield knows how to keep a baby a secret.

Heidi Klum doesn't like tan lines.

Jessica Alba had a baby girl.

I could get behind this effort to make Matt Damon president.

Lady Gaga looks kind of normal here.

Hilary Duff is pregnant.

You knew it was coming: a Selena album is due next year.

Stories like this make me think the Hogans are not right.

Tina Fey has a new baby girl.

Joy Behar is married. Hopefully her fellow co-host, Sherri Shepherd, didn't mind sharing the wedding spotlight.

Brooke Burke and David Charvet are also newlyweds.

Tara Reid is also a married lady.

I bet this Glee starlet changes her hue before she heads back to the set.

Know what sounds crazier than Paula Abdul? Working for Paula Abdul.

Oh, why do we have to have one more Bridget Jones?

Or another Austin Powers?

Heather Locklear is engaged to a former costar.

Look who's taking his professional dancing self back to DWTS. And the potential stars list is kind of interesting.

Kristen Stewart looks nice when she's not mopey.

On The (Lady) Attack

I have a bone to pick with the media. You see, I've had enough of the constant lady comparisons and not-so-subtle bashing. When it's used snarkily, I'm not as bothered by the stories, photos, slide shows, etc., that seem to pit lady against lady.

I just cannot believe that in these final months of 2011 women are still being compared, criticized and just plain judged for their appearance. Allow me to state my case.

I saw this on The Daily Beast recently. Clothing is not the only thing repeated in this slideshow. The comment "not enough dresses to wear" is used in almost every comparison.

I suppose it's possible the person(s) behind this catty piece thought that since these people are famous/rich, they shouldn't be caught dead wearing the same thing more than once. I say just the opposite. We mere mortals wear the same item many times (I prefer not to part with clothing/bags/shoes unless they are worn out, torn or stained). And when you see these lovely ladies wearing the same outfit more than once, it doesn't come off as cheap. It shows they have enough style to slightly vary the outfit. It's not like they picked out something they spotted on a mannequin and only wore it that way. Also, these outfits are mostly good. Why would these ladies of means want to throw them out.

Speaking of Tina Brown's projects... I have to say I am disappointed with her Newsweek. Have you seen these covers?

Now, that Sarah Palin cover was done before Ms. Brown took over, but look at the disparity here. I'm not a huge fan of Ms. Palin or Michele Bachmann (and I'm lukewarm on Hillary Clinton), but the extreme closeups on the first two ladies are unforgiving. There's an apparent lack of airbrushing on the ladies who are actually attractive. And that Bachmann cover might as well have said, "Queen of Clueless Crazy Lady" than "Queen of Rage." Totally made me happy I did not renew my subscription here. Jon Stewart had it right: you want to clearly paint the picture of Bachmann, do it like this.

As for the picture of Hillary Clinton... It's not an awful picture, but when you talk about how she's "shattering glass ceilings," but show her from an unflattering angle, it's like we are once again left to talk about her pear shape and aging face. Who wants to talk about what she's doing when this magazine hardly gives an impression that the article is seriously focused on her appearance? They don't give their cover men that kind of treatment (unless they're celebrities posing in character). They shouldn't do the same to women.

If you think this kind of treatment is exclusive to the so-called "liberal" media, you're wrong.

I spotted this on Fox News's website. An entire slide show of famous ladies, their ages and an implied gasp at how well some have aged while others have not.

First of all, let me say it is totally unfair to compare any lady of any age to Christie Brinkley.

Second, I think they could have taken this whole thing a step further by explaining the diet, exercise and skin care regimes (as well as what injectables and surgeries they've had) to give women an accurate idea of what aging can be.

If anyone ever puts a picture of myself next to a famous gal and wants to point out all of our differences (good and bad), they better be prepared for a junk shot.

I understand that my Friday feature might make this whole post seem ironic. However, I try to point out the good in these famous people when I can. If I don't like someone, I make that pretty clear (we don't have to like everyone - really). What I do is point out a bad moment. Besides the oh-so-important page clicks, what good do these slide shows and magazine covers do to women? They're not allowed to be more like us? They're not allowed the privilege of some airbrushing? They're not allowed to age?

I don't get it. I don't like it. Most of all, I'm glad I don't have to be held to the high standards of the people (like me) who get to sit around in their yoga pants and go, "Oh. My. God. (Insert celebrity name) looks awful! Let's make sure everyone sees that!"

Maybe I should reconsider everything I'm doing. Or maybe I'm getting soft in my old age. Or maybe the heat has finally gotten to me. Check back in December.

Week In Pop Culture

Al Pacino makes a pretty good Phil Spector.

Justin Timberlake, this is not the return to music I wanted from you.

A restaurant owner made some (apparently untrue) allegations about Adam Sandler.

If you look at these pictures of beach bum Gisele, wipe them from your memory before you put on your bathing suit.


True Blood is sticking around another year.

All that tanning may have caught up with George Hamilton.

I hope stage parents listen to Corey Feldman.

Miranda Cosgrove nearly died.

Kanye West fell down. Hard.

I'm pretty sure I could buy every single Danskin piece and not look like this.

Eva Mendes works out.

Fergie walked out of an interview.

Roseanne is planning on leaving her nut farm for scripted TV.

Ricki Lake is engaged.

Don't try this unless you're Aretha Franklin.

Gwyneth Paltrow makes it hard for me to like her.

Want to watch Crazytown?

Can't wait to not watch Tyler Perry's network.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, fresh from his divorce, is getting married.

Here's Gerard Butler.

Viola Davis is going to be a mom.

Mila Kunis speaks the truth (and it's not what I want to hear).

No new judges on American Idol next year.

The Kardashians are writing another book I won't read.

OY! Another remake is coming to TV!

Revlon has good taste.

How is this not child pornography?

Anyone else think Snooki looks like Christina Aguilera's sister?

There will not be a Monkees tour.

Loretta Lynn is hurt.

Greg Allman is sick.

I'd get on board with The King's Speech on Broadway if it included Colin Firth.

Not necessary: Smurf movie sequel.

Oh, reality show contestants are so sensitive!


Mad Meners are back at work!

I can only hope millions of dollars don't do to Lindsay Lohan's sister what they've done to her.

This is a bad idea.

So you can sleep at night, here's how Angelina Jolie and her brood are handling the London riots.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a sad, sad girl.

Here's a totally unbelievable story about Jenifer Aniston.

George Lopez has been given the boot.

I hope the Ghost of Patrick Swayze crashes the Dirty Dancing remake before it even starts filming.

Oprah REALLY knows how to get me not to watch OWN. But you can have your own Oprah on your coffee table.

Here's how Rihanna does vacation.

Are there problems at The Talk (I mean, other than it trying to be The View)?

I'm lukewarm on scripted shows hitting the big screen. I am absolutely opposed to reality shows being turned into movies.

Michael Jackson's kids are nice.

Since Andy Cohen's being offered a lot of money for his memoir, it must be juicy and worth a read. Or something.

Simon Cowell apparently doesn't think highly of Paula Abdul.

Lady Gaga has apparently run out of lady looks, so she's gone dude.

I'm beginning to think this newly-engaged actress might have a problem.

Someone attacked Gavin DeGraw.

I was on board with that Three Stooges movie until this.

Things like this make me like Taylor Swift (not her music - I still find that screechy).

Pretty sure I won't read this book.

Kelly Rowland let people see a little too much of her.

It's not cheap to be Rihanna.

Here's Suri Cruise looking age appropriate.

Jane Fonda is talking about herself.

Kanye says he's misunderstood.

Even though I know Desperate Housewives is ending, I won't watch the final season. And this lady probably won't be watching.

Mila Kunis wants you to know she doesn't like Justin Timberlake like that.

I think Outkast's Big Boi is a bit creepy now.

Sofia Vergara's breasts are always looking for a new home.

I'm guessing instead of "Cheese!" the girls try to imagine they're not underdressed while standing next to their great grandfather.

Gwyneth Paltrow The Singer might be happening.

Ethan Hawke has a new baby girl.

Sounds like Daniel Craig's ex is from Crazytown. It's just past Revengeville.


Two And A Half Men has officially moved on without Charlie Sheen.

I'm gonna trust in Judd Apatow for his casting of Megan Fox in the Knocked Up sequel.


The Amazing Spiderman hasn't even been released, but there's already a release date for the sequel.

Shaquille O'Neal's girlfriend looks like any other girl next to him - tiny.

If you're kind of a celebrity and have an endorsement deal for an anti-aging product, it's not wise to get plastic surgery.

Adele's next album might be a little more country-ish.

Queen Latifah is talking about what she likes in a lady.

I didn't know Mr. Bean earned enough to own and crash a $1 million car.

Victoria Beckham shared a cute picture of her baby girl being held by David Beckham.

Movie that's not necessary: Barbie.

You might have missed another awards show that doesn't really matter.

Rest in peace, Jani Lane.