Currently The Worst: Text Spammers

I am so old I remember when text messages were something you got from a friend on a phone that flipped open and you had to press the numbers on the keypad sometimes three times to get one letter. SIDE NOTE: will someone look up whether I can get into the Guinness Book of World Records for "longest sentence ever?"

Age aside, I have now accepted that sometimes a text message can come from someone I don't actually know. I get Amber Alerts (because I REALLY want to spot a kidnapper's car possibly so I can say, "Hey, jerk face! Your car and its license plate are all over the highway signs. Since you wanted to go to jail so badly, I'm making a citizens arrest. Don't move or I'll shoot you with antibacterial gel!"). I get texts from people running for president (always disappointing because they rarely invite me to hang out or go to a movie - at least not without a campaign contribution). Those, I don't mind so much.

Text spammers, however, are most likely the devil's helpers. I went online and found my carrier advising people to reply with "block." Sometimes that seems to do the trick.

Sometimes, these jerks just change their number (and I'm not falling for the banana in the tailpipe).

It's quite possible my lady hormones were behind that response. In hindsight, I don't take it back. Not because I haven't learned to be a little ashamed of my potty mouth, but because it seems to have stopped that particular spamdouche.

While I'm at it, let me do a bit of a public service. If you get one of these texts, don't call the number. You should contact me. I will take your personal information and protect it in my Nigerian bank account.

You're welcome.

PS - If you don't like my tactic, here's what the FCC recommends.