Melons = Boobs

I speak enough slang to know MELONS are boobs. 

I wish I had seen the driver to know if they were real.

I also wish I could tell you they weren't moobs. Because there's a chance.

Insert Eye Roll Here

One of my favorite things about the internet is the shopping. While I mostly browse, I sometimes buy. But when I cruise the 'net (I know people don't really say that - except maybe people who still use flip phones, though they probably still think you "log on"), I can't help but stop and get all shouty when I see things like this.

SERIOUSLY, J.CREW?

The 9" Stanton short in hashtag.

The details:

Our casual weather-beaten short is every guy's go-to for summer. This pair is printed with hashtags (or as we used to call them back in the day, "pound signs") and dyed with real indigo (#willfadewithage).

Ugh.

If you're calling a hashtag a pound sign, these are NOT the shorts for you.

But let's take a closer look at the shorts.

They're not super hashtag-y and in your face. They're subtle. But only one size is sold out. And the overpriced shorts have been marked down from $69.50 to $49.99. It seems like there are a few sensible guys out there who aren't leaping at the chance to have their own hashtag created. Suggestions:

• #jcrewtakesadvantageofhipsters
• #hashtaginmyshorts
• #poundsignmyshorts
• #superdouche

I can only hope that the sales of these shorts have been to guys who are planning their Halloween costumes. You know, ironic hipster in social media attire. For the selfie. Because wearing these in real life is totally a junk punchable offense. Look it up.

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Weatherman On Board?

I know it's a little hard to read this one, but it says:

LTNROD

I assume that stands for lightning rod.

It's either a weatherman behind the wheel or someone with terrible luck - but not so bad that he can't afford a sports car.

The Intern's Handbook

The Intern's Handbook: A Thriller by Shane Kuhn

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I have never been afraid of interns.

Until now.

John Lago is an intern. Not really. He's an assassin. And, judging him only by the handbook he has written, he's quite good at it.

This book is told from his perspective. It is violent. It has foul language. It has everything I want in a book that won't make me think too hard.

My one complaint about the book is the ending. It felt a bit rushed, but was otherwise right in line with the story.



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Lorde, Is That You?

I saw this












and thought of one thing.

And the Mountains Echoed

And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Aside from the random introduction of characters that at first appear to be key to the story but never appear again, this story was pretty great. I did think it would have been nice to know what the siblings had been up to while they were apart throughout the book instead of later. If I wasn't waiting a week to write this I'd be more specific about my likes and dislikes, but I've already finished one book and started another.



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Hyperbole and a Half

Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened by Allie Brosh

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I've read Allie's blog and love her drawings that help tell the story. I loved this book a little more because it gave me a chance to read it on an airplane and have strangers peeking over my shoulder to see what was making me smile. It almost makes me want to doodle (because that is the extent of my drawing ability) instead of writing with words.



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Double Down

Double Down: Game Change 2012 by Mark Halperin

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I like a political book based on facts. This was full of them - so full, it reaffirmed my belief that I am absolutely NOT cut out for a life of politics.

There's something about the 2012 campaign that was just awful. Not the name calling. Not the ads. Not the obscene amounts of money thrown into the parties trying to persuade voters to come their way. That's become expected. It might have been the duration of the campaign. The ridiculous amount of candidates didn't help. I had forgotten a few of the "contenders!"

The frantic pace at which Romney and Obama finally settled in to face each other was probably the fastest I buzzed through this book. And I stayed with it to the very end - right up to the talk of the 2016 campaign. Because that's happening, America. It. Is. Happening.



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