If there IS a man in there, I doubt any amount of Old Spice would make him smell better. In fact, fellas, if you like all those funky smells, do the world a favor and DON'T try to make it go away with Old Spice - or any other scent. Treat yourself as if you have been sprayed by a skunk and strip your scent down to nothing. Like this guy:
Only then can our noses tolerate the man fragrance.
They aren't made for dancing (though, judging by the ad, you could dance in them - apparently without injury). Because I don't have those man parts, I don't know why these seem to be a brilliant product. The only reason I use the word "brilliant' in this case is that guys I've shown this to have responded in a "Why didn't I think of that?" way. I didn't realize crouching lead to ouching before this!
They don't look very stylish, but I guess these are just for comfort. Like pajama jeans but for dudes?
I am a girl who likes to be comfortable. If it's tight and binding, I am not interested. But I have seen a couple of things that go from comfort to giving up.
Pajama Jeans
If you haven't stayed up late and watched this infomercial, allow me to introduce you to this new invention.
Now, I must confess I wavered on these. At first, I was all "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen." And then, I was all, "Stretchy pants that look like jeans? Genius!" But I have had some sense knocked into me. I know that if I left the house like this:
it would only be a matter of time before someone looked at me with sad eyes and asked if I needed medication. Look, you can put fake seams on these pants, but they're STILL pajama pants. The only time you can get away with wearing PJs in public is if you're stepping out to pick up your newspaper or you're deathly ill and need to run out for some NyQuil and ice cream (I'm a single girl who has to fetch her own drugs, what?). I might make an exception for Thanksgiving, but then your pants would never get tight and you'd keep shoveling pumpkin pie down your gullet. See? Not a good idea.
OnePiece
Ladies (and gents, I suppose), if you want to announce to the world that you are a lumpy bump for whom even sweat pants won't do, the OnePiece is for you! I cannot believe they actually put makeup on people for this photo shoot. I do not believe for one second that anyone wearing this is putting on anything more than lip gloss after securing a scrunchie in her hair. And who could this possibly look good on? It's saggy from the ankle to the shoulder! Walking around looking like an unpadded puppet is not a good look for anyone - even one who doesn't eat more than a slice of apple per day. Take the pass on this one, unless you have completely given up and don't want people to know if you've pooped your pants.
Phrobies
This is just plain lazy.
A blanket robe? Are you kidding me? This makes The Snuggie seem genius! The phrobi has pockets, which makes the wearer look like he/she is up to no good. The website says it's stylish and can be worn to events. Um, I got news for you lazy bums. You show up at my house - or anywhere else in this lame excuse for attire - and I will not only point and make fun of you, but I will also announce to the world that you have given up completely. **Note: acceptable if you are at death's door - or the emergency room (but then it must be burned).
If I didn't know better, I'd think those things were some sort of spoof. Like Mom Jeans.
I suppose it could be worse. Those casual clothes could be creepy like Crocs.
