Happy Father's Day!

Dear Dads of The Webosphere,

For your special day, I chose this card for you. Your challenge: to find the one that suits you.

Week In Pop Culture

Let's start with this.

Christina Hendricks had a scare.

Oh, Carlos Santana! Don't do this!


Wipeout is making a host change.

The Today show had an awkward moment.

Britney struck some interesting poses on her tour.

Jennifer Lopez's daughter looks a lot like her.

Boy George is 50.

Here's some Harry Potter news.

This news about a new Les Miserables movie is interesting.

I had no idea "ladies" in Beverly Hills were so bratty!

Broadway just got yummier.

I really don't want to watch these two work out their problems on TV.

Buzz Aldrin is getting divorced.

I'm calling this Marc Jacobs campaign a miss.

I'm sad for Kelly Osbourne.

Now I understand why those singers agreed to judge The Voice.

Kristin Chenoweth is always adorable!

Some guy has confessed to murdering Tupac.

Denise Richards is "writing" a memoir.

That guy who played Urkel is now a director.

From teen idol to not your kid's role model just like that!

This Superman casting news is interesting.

Donald Trump isn't the only one telling Gary Busey that he's fired.

Joss Stone was apparently the target of a scary crime.

That ginormous Spelling mansion has been sold.

Christie Brinkley is a superhero.

Madonna is working on a new album.

Ladies (with fake boobs and tans), it looks like Hugh Hefner is back on the market. But maybe it was all just an attention-getting scam?

Something seems off with this perfume ad.

Some actor guy was stabbed in a bar fight.

Is Jenifer Aniston "the other woman?"

Eva Longoria wears braces.

Dear Justin Timberlake: please put down the pot and make some music!

I liked it more when Arnold Schwarzenegger's baby mama didn't talk.

The Academy Awards could have as few as five and as many as 10 best picture nominees.

Natalie Portman had a baby boy.

I am starting a collection to get Iggy Pop a shirt.

Kim Cattrall, I don't want another Sex and the City movie!

Gwyneth Paltrow sounds a bit like a bully.

Jessica Simpson is returning to TV.

Charlie Sheen is trying to get back on TV.

To see who belongs to these legs, click here.

I'm no Tori Spelling apologist, but photographers really should back off.

Courtney Cox is using her Cougar Town cash on a home makeover.

Conan O'Brien's address to Dartmouth grads was pretty funny.

Catherine Zeta-Jones looked pretty good at the Tonys. Here's a list of winners. Here's a link to the red carpet photos.

I'm fairly certain Rihanna does not care that her top is see-through.

No one should look this good without makeup.

The saxophonist from the E Street Club had a stroke.

Can Amy Winehouse abide by these tour rules?

I am not a fan of Soulja Boy, but I like what he had to say to the haters.

Are these two a couple now?

Barry Manilow turned 68 this week. His face is considerably younger.

If you buy Ed Hardy's home, you might have to undouche it.

Crazy: Ricki Lake allegedly set her house on fire.

No new U2 music until 2012.

Zach Galifianakis.

Lily Allen has some big news.

Emily Blunt had a stuttering problem.

This seems like a pretty random couple.

Two things: Richard Simmons is still alive & he's wearing pants!

I kind of believe this story about little Suri Cruise.

Jennifer Hudson may have pissed off Winnie Mandela.

Dakota Fanning is going to college.

I hope this Lifetime Achievement Award doesn't mean the actor is calling it quits.

I thought Edie Falco was cool. This makes me think she's cooler.

Tracy Morgan apologized for his homophobic rant. Tina Fey seems to be hinting that Tracy has a few more apologies to make.

Try as she did to keep it private, it appears Jennifer Lopez's sex tape is out there. And I am beginning to think she wears stuff like this so we'll forget how bad her music is.

Shia LaBeouf is done with a series I have not seen. But he is still doing this series (I also haven't seen it).

NBA players do not sound like the kind of guy any girl should date.

If only every divorce was as fun (really - fun!) as it is with this rock couple.

OK! Enough!

I started getting OK! magazine last year. I never subscribed to it - it just appeared in my mailbox one day. I wouldn't pay for a subscription to this magazine or even buy it at the newsstand. Why? Because it's pure junk. If you're not convinced, allow me to state my case.

Let's start with the "Only in OK!" story: Kim Kardashian's "Wedding Surprise."

The big, yellow headline says, "I'm having a baby!" Inside the magazine, you'll find a different story.

While it flat out says, "Kim and Kris are going to have a baby," the article explains that Kim is eager to be a mother and is taking steps to prepare for pregnancy. Hardly a baby on board.

But most of the story is rehashing interviews with Kim, her family or friends talking about how Kim wants to be a mother. I'm not a Kardashian apologist, but I'd be pretty pissed off if someone put me on the cover of a magazine implying I'm pregnant. Let the girl get married before we start baby talk!

Here's the next cover truth stretcher. Before you go daydreaming about what these two would look like in black and white photos all dolled up, I'll crush your fantasy.

Brad told USA Today, "The kids ask about marriage. It's meaning more and more to them. So it's something we've got to look at."

See that? LOOK AT. First of all, OK! didn't even do this interview - they're lifting it from a newspaper (I do see the irony in what I'm doing by taking things out of their magazine which they've taken from other sources). I guess the reason there are no bylines in this weak excuse for a magazine's articles is that they don't really do any reporting. They're like the Huffington Post of magazines, providing information from other sources for those who are too lazy to do the clicking on the interwebs.

But second, neither Brad nor Angelina has said they're actually getting married. Just "looking at" it. Yeah, I'm looking at winning the lottery soon. Let's see what happens first.

Finally, this is a recurring feature that really bugs me. Hardly a week goes by that this magazine doesn't put one of MTV's Teen Mom girls on the cover.

These girls are NOT celebrities. They're young ladies in WAY over their heads. Between the money MTV gives them and what, I hope, is an income from this magazine, they're trying to be single moms taking care of babies. Glamorizing them sets a bad example to other teen girls. They may very well see how these girls have become instant celebrities (forgetting the responsibility of raising a baby, going to school, finding a job, etc.) and are on TV - reality "stars!" I watch this show and it exhausts me. The fighting, the crying - and I'm not talking about the babies. These girls have it rough, but I don't think that's really deterring young girls from saying, "Sign me up!" Putting them on the cover of a magazine is just wrong.

So, OK!, I ask you to stop. And if you can't change your sloppy, lazy ways, can you please STOP sending me this magazine?

Week In Pop Culture

Huh?

Apparently, following Russell Crowe on Twitter means you get lots of rants in your feed.

Tracy Morgan seems to carry a lot of hate.

Alec Baldwin might run for mayor of NYC.

Pay attention, fellas.

Forehead Tittaes w/ Marion Cotillard from Marion Cotillard

William Shatner doesn't seem to be retiring any time soon.

Tony Parker's mom might not be able to quit Eva Longoria.

This actress is probably headed for rehab.

If true, this hookup is pretty random.

I'll need to see the trailer before I decide whether I want to see this.

When royal families collide...

Sheryl Crow shared a little too much at the CMAs.

Another rapper has been arrested.

This sounds like a movie I might like.

This is a movie apparently no one likes.

James Franco now has a dance mix.

These supposed Hangover III deets don't sound legit.

Shania Twain has scored a sweet Vegas deal. It might help her forget about this:

You'd think with as busy she is, Rachel Ray would pass out and sleep like a baby at night. Not so.

Something doesn't look right with Bethenny Frankel.

Can you believe it's been 20 years since Thelma and Louise?

Sherri Shepherd has set herself up for wedding day drama.


Captain America appears to be getting into the race for President of the Hair Club For Men.

This makes me love Amy Poehler and Parks and Recreation a little more.

I can't believe a magazine considers this prenup "shocking."

The CFDA Awards brought out some interesting outfits.

Jennifer Connelly has a new baby girl.

Perhaps crazy runs in Nicolas Cage's family?

REALLY, Christina?

Was Ronald Reagan serious about aliens?

Lawrence Fishburne is leaving his TV show.

Keith Olbermann has a pretty sweet deal.

I agree with the folks at Rotten Tomatoes.

Hey! Willie Nelson isn't going to jail after all!

I'm glad these people are trying to get help, but I won't be tuning in (on purpose) to Celebrity Rehab.

Craig Ferguson is taking his show on the road. To Paris. France.

Turns out, Kathy Ireland is a REAL woman.

This story about Anne Hathaway is pretty unbelievable.

Khloe Kardashian shared way too much.

Shakira wants you to forget all about Rihanna.

Damon Lindelof and I agree on the same thing.

I can't believe this girl just graduated high school!

This picture doesn't make me want to see the sequel to Men in Black.

A movie star (?) is going back to his soapy roots.

Totally forgot this guy was in rehab.

I didn't see the first G.I. Joe movie, so I'm pretty sure I won't see this sequel.

But I might rent this one.

Jim Carrey is talking about sequels to a couple of his hit movies.

That Jennifer Lopez sexy time tape isn't hitting the web anytime soon.

Gwen Stefani is teasing us about new music.

So are these guys.

This is 59.

Wesley Snipes isn't getting out of jail soon.

Can we officially be done with Paris Hilton?

New couple or just friendly coworkers?

If Katie Couric's new gig doesn't work out, all that's left is cable.

Now, I think Rihanna is making a public cry for help.

Guys say Jennifer Aniston was hot this decade.

A couple of young stars are engaged.

What? Don't all friends do this?

MTV Movie Awards carry no weight with me. But I do like to see what these kids are wearing.

This makes me love Reese Witherspoon even more.

And joking about being a father when your ex-girlfriend is knocked up and not naming a baby daddy is not funny.

Piers Morgan's wife is preggers.

A country singer's house went up in flames.

I don't love her movies, but Cameron Diaz's body - WOW!

Mark Wahlberg has changed.

Gwen Stefani's son took a big tumble.

ZOMG! Christina Aguilera has cellulite!

Oh, Pee Wee!

The Dallas reboot sounds a lot like Desperate Housewives - and that's not a good thing.

I kind of agree with the way Angelina Jolie is educating her clan.

FINALLY! A director recognizes we don't need to see every movie in 3D!

Here's how Two And A Half Men is handling Charlie Sheen's goodbye.

Italian Vogue thinks these ladies are plus-sized.

Ben Affleck had a black eye.

Lindsay Lohan makes house arrest sound like fun.

Sean Parker wants you to know he's no Justin Timberlake.

Courtney Love is apparently going to use all the Kurt Cobain cash on legal fees.

Jeremy Piven should maybe work a little more if he wants to use his celeb status to get out of a ticket.

I'm a little surprised Bobby Brown is still alive.

But Whitney seems committed to recovery.

I hope Adele feels better soon.

Kate Hudson does not look like a happy pregnant lady.

When Russell Crowe teaches acting, I bet the class pays attention.

Jennifer Aniston appears to have a new boyfriend.

A supposed new couple will be in a movie together.

I totally love Frances McDormand's style.

Kelsey Grammer only wants custody of his son?

Rest in peace, James Arness.

And Andrew Gold.

Definite Don'ts

Here's my irregular public service to those of you armed with money/plastic and ready to spend.

Friends, there are plenty of things out there that may seem like a good idea when you're up late at night because you can't sleep/have had too much to drink. But I'd like you to take a good look at these while you're alert and sober (this combination is VERY important). I'm here to save you money. And if, after looking at these, you still want to spend some money, just send me your cash. You'll thank me for this.

Facial Flex

There's about a minute's worth of creepy lady talking before she gets down to using this thing. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure if you keep making a face, it will stick that way. In this case, the face could only come in handy in the adult film industry. It seems like this works the opposite of Botox - which freezes your muscles. Stretching your facial muscles repeatedly doesn't appear to be a workout. It looks like it will stretch out your face so that you need a surgeon to pull all that skin back for good. That said, if any of you buy this, I expect you to get video and post it somewhere. Then, tell me you believe this product REALLY works. Side note to salespeople: if the product you're advertising includes closeups of someone's mouth, how about you choose models with good, straight, white teeth?

Tattoo Mask

You know who this is perfect for?

Lady Gaga.

If your name is NOT Lady Gaga (or it's not Halloween), this is just a big, fat NO.

Can you imagine what this would be like in every day life? No one would take you seriously. I suppose if you don't want to be taken seriously, this would go perfect with your neck tattoo.

But in real life? If I put this on, I would walk outside in this heat and it would probably slide right off my forehead. Also, I am certain none of my co-workers would be able to pretend like this was not happening. Kind of long story short: no way, Jose - or whatever your name is. 

Violent Lips
On a related topic, let's look at these. I mean, REALLY look at these.

You know who wears these (besides the model)? Hookers and exotic dancers - or ladies whose profession makes guys want to look at their mouths and think of the things they could do with them. Subtle, no?


And ladies, this is the ultimate high maintenance mouth. You probably can't drink or eat with this mouth (hmmm - maybe good for a diet or detox). I don't envy the guy who goes to kiss this mouth, only to have half of it wind up in his mouth. These might be fine for a costume, but far from good for reality.

One last note... These look like they'd really dry your lips. I like lip balms way too much to try these.

All Star Thong Sandal
Look, I love me a good sneaker and a good flip flop. But this is insane!

The toe says, "Keep cool!" The heel says, "Don't you envy the toes?"

I've been staring at the photo trying to picture a celebrity who would look good in these (because isn't that what we all picture before we buy shoes/clothes/bags?). Can't do it. Not even someone cute and funky - like Zooey Deschanel - could pull these off. It's like Converse hates ladies. I know their other shoes are way cuter and try to make up for this awful shoe, but this really is unforgivable. Ladies, don't.

Just - don't.

Similiar Posts

• More Dumb Things
• Totally Unnecessary
• Exclamation Point!
• 
  

I ♥ iTunes

Look, I know I could find free downloadable music online, but I refuse to do that because I have such rotten luck, I am certain the feds would kick down my door, arrest me and make an example out of me. Believe me when I say that as tough as I am, I could not handle prison. I don't like being told what to wear. I like my air conditioning and cocktails. I like my comfortable bed. So, I will do anything I can to avoid prison. That said, I'll get back to my affection for iTunes.

Despite recent downloads and gifted music, I went searching for more summer tunes. I found this:

It included more than 40 songs - making each single less than a dollar. A bargain! And even though I had some of the songs already, there were more on the album that I did not have, so I clicked "buy album." Then, I started to listen to the songs. Something sounded off. I clicked on the ones I knew. Definitely NOT the original artist. When I looked at what was downloading, the artist was listed as "Audiogroove." Hmmm. Not at all what I wanted. I paused the download, then went online to ask iTunes for a refund. I was not optimistic because I should have listened to the music before I chose to buy the album. If I had bothered to look at the reviews, I would have seen plenty of people saying that this was not music by the original artists. Still, I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. Then, I got this response:

Nicole, after reviewing the circumstances of your case, we determined that issuing you a refund for your unintentional purchase of "100% Top 40 Hits - Summer 2011" is an appropriate exception to the iTunes Store Terms and Conditions, which state that all sales are final. In five to seven business days, a credit of $27.02 should be posted to the credit card that appears on the receipt for that purchase.

YAY! They didn't have to give me a refund, but they chose to do it! Then, last night, out of the blue, I received this email from iTunes:

Thank you for downloading Lady Gaga's new album Born This Way. Our records indicated that you were charged the full retail price of the album, instead of the discounted price you should have received from the "Complete My Album" purchase.
Apple regrets any inconvenience caused by the issue. For each individual song you purchased before buying the entire album, we have provided you with a free song gift code, plus 1 additional code for the inconvenience. The codes listed below can be used to buy any song on the iTunes Store. Simply open iTunes, select iTunes Store, click "Redeem" under Quick Links and enter the code above.

I never would have known that I was overcharged! Apples own honesty means I get to choose four songs for free! Yes, I understand that I technically paid for them, but still - I get to choose the songs I want on Apple! Side note: If you ever want to know why you haven't been able to travel the world, look at how much you've spent on music. It's totally depressing, which is what makes these responses awesome!

I've never received such positive feedback from Amazon, but then, I'm only buying a song here or there and the occasional album (if I don't want the extras like you get on iTunes or if I'm not sure I'll like it and Amazon has it for $5). So, I'll sing Apple's praises - not literally, as I keep the singing confined to my car where the music is louder than me and no one has to actually hear me.

Celebrate Your Hobby - Or Something

At first glance, this SUV makes me wonder what it's doing parked - shouldn't it be cruising the highway at a low speed with OJ in the backseat and a fleet of police cars behind it? Also, I think this should be in some sort of museum. It's in such great shape! But a closer look reveals something about the owner.

They're land-locked divers. I mean, I think they are. I'm assuming the person who owns this vehicle lives in my town - which is only near lakes and rivers unless you're up for a road trip to do some Gulf of Mexico diving. Now, if I was a burglar, I'd say, "Follow that Bronco! They'll lead us to thousands of dollars worth of dive equipment we can pawn for a few bucks!"

But I'm not. I'm too clumsy for a life of crime.

They're divers. Good for them! PS - Watch out for sharks. They will eat you.

For similar posts, click here.

Week In Pop Culture

Who knew Liev Schreiber had this going on?

I don't pick up hitchhikers, but I'd totally pick up Bono.

This is a bit of honesty from Shia LaBeouf.

Guess who's the richest supermodel?

Tony Bennett's duets album is getting, um, interesting.

Billy Bob Thornton's estranged daughter is looking at time behind bars.

Still not interested in that American Pie sequel.

Nor am I interested in this Scientology movie.

And this reboot makes me roll my eyes.

Pink had a baby girl.

How long before Cindy Crawford's daughter is modeling? She's gorgeous!

Not at all surprised Ellen Barkin's a cougar.

Chelsea Handler may be moving on from her E! show.

I can't believe it's taken this long to bring back Fear Factor.

Rihanna's new video is stirring up controversy.

I'm totally excited about the Emmys!

New couple alert?

New couple breakup.

Here's crazy in a bikini.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have some specific requirements for their kids' tutor.

Do we need a Rocky musical?

And here's why I never believe this magazine.

Sarah Silverman is returning to TV.

Justin Timberlake is sharing a lot.

Adele is already working on her next album. Can't wait!

I'm a little surprised all that reality show money does not appear to be enough to fix Tori Spelling's bad boob job.

Frank Sinatra liked his showers.

Someone posted naked pictures of someone who looks a lot like Blake Lively.

An actress/model is engaged.

Angelina's Cleopatra won't be like Elizabeth Taylor's.

I think I know what it will take for me to FINALLY quit Grey's Anatomy: no more McSteamy.

Who wants (to be) a sandwich?

Alec Baldwin is making me a little excited about Rock of Ages.

Here's some Hunger Games casting news.

I liked it better when Brad and Angelina weren't talking about their relationship.

Michael Jackson's daughter is getting to be a normal kid.

Andy Dick might be taking his name a little too literally.

This is beach-appropriate footwear?

I don't care if Cougartown is changing its name - I still won't watch it.

I'm happy to see this guy is still working.

If these three ladies worked together, I bet a lingerie shop would sponsor them.

Joan Collins is selling one of her houses. It's BYOD - Bring Your Own Drama.

Sean Kingston was in a scary accident.

I don't envy celebrities and the whole "belly bulge is a baby" speculation. It's rude when it happens to real people - and they don't have pictures drawing attention to it!

Hoping that by pointing out how cute Sarah Jessica Parker's twins are that we'll never have to suffer through another Sex and The City movie again.

Not the least bit surprised this couple is breaking up.

Thanks to the paparazzi, it seems like celebrities (like this one) have pregnancies that last years.

It's totally tough being Lindsay Lohan these days.

It should be illegal to take photos of anyone like this - ESPECIALLY the lovely Christina Hendricks.

Robin Williams' daughter doesn't really look like him.

That is not Marlene Dietrich. It's Scarlett Johansson.

Niecy Nash is married.

So is Tony Romo.

We may see more of Jennifer Lopez than we want to.

Ice-T's wife really wants you to appreciate her, um, asset.

Roseanne Barr might return to TV.

Rest in peace, Jeff Conaway.

And Gil Scott-Heron.

And Clarice Taylor.

The Summer Blahs

If Hollywood wanted me to get outside and sweat instead of sit inside a nice, cool movie theater, it wins. This month has so few movies that appeal to me. Here's what will make the cut:

Beautiful Boy

Oh, Michael Sheen. I'll see you in anything. This does seem a little serious for a summer movie, but I'll probably see it early in the day so I can get over it and not have dreams about it.

Super 8

I don't usually love science fiction, but I think Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams can do this without me feeling out of place in this geekdom.

Page One: Inside The New York Times

I have always been fascinated by newspapers, this one in particular. I love watching how this old form of media is trying to keep up while making everyone else follow their stories. I'm wondering if any of the money from this documentary goes to the newspaper. And if I pay to see this, will it get me past that paywall?

Bad Teacher

Truth: if I don't see this as a $5 early bird special, I will just add it to Netflix. I adore Justin Timberlake on SNL, but his movies seem to be more miss than hit. Strange.

That's it for June. I'm not even listing the movies that I won't see. Too many to name.