Week In Pop Culture

Can you guess the supermodel on vacation?

ANOTHER remake: The Lone Ranger? Really?

Billy Joel had old man surgery.


Mission: Impossible may live on without Tom Cruise.

Here's a strange celebrity crime story.

I get it, Superbowl. You don't want me to watch your halftime show.

MTV is kind of getting back into the business of music on the TV.

If you haven't heard Nicki Minaj, you might want to get familiar with at least part of her.

CUTE KID ALERT: This boy's parents are Amy Poehler and Will Arnett.

Jessica Simpson almost let TV keep her from getting engaged.

Kanye is still angry about a lot of things.

Angelina Jolie hates Thanksgiving.

I'm not sure this couple is actually dating - but I think it's safe to say they're spending a lot of time naked.

Halle Berry wants another baby.

George Lopez's divorce looks like it's going to cost him a lot.

Billy Joel had surgery.

I nominate Neil Patrick Harris for the "cutest dad ever" award. There is one, right?

Dane Cook: still not funny, now creepy.

I'm a wee bit jealous of Blake Lively.

Christian Bale says he just has one more Batman movie in him.

Demi Moore spends a fortune on her face - and it shows.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston have a new baby boy.

Here's Jessica Alba reminding me why I don't watch her "act."

Paris Hilton's posturing for attention is SOOO old.

I like when actors are honest about really bad movies.

Fantasia's reality is pretty tragic.

This does not make me want a pair of Sketchers.

I think Shonda Rhimes has finally found a way to get me to stop watching "Grey's Anatomy."

Look who's had some work done:

When will celebrities learn not to text people?

Miley Cyrus has totally become 2001 Britney Spears.

Kat Von D's house burned down.

Hey, Courtney Love! Don't go changin'...

That crazy Tim Burton wants your help writing a story on Twitter.

FYI: Will Ferrell is just fine being the most overpaid actor.

It looks like Joan Rivers may never win an Oscar - even if it's just a documentary focusing on her.

If you want to see how the ladies dressed for the American Music Awards (an award that doesn't really mean anything - go Grammy or go home, musicians!), go here.

It appears we all need to send Kate Bosworth cheeseburgers. STAT!

ICYMI: Anne Hathaway's impression of Katie Holmes was even better than Vanessa Bayer's Miley Cyrus.

Drew Carey is coming back to primetime.

Since I can't unread this piece about Martina Navratilova, I must share it.

Katy Perry isn't all about boobs.

Lindsay Lohan is out of work. On a related note, I totally forgot what a drug-free Lindsay Lohan looks like.

Here's Juliette Lewis (who's 37!) not looking like a homeless person.

These ladies make me look forward to aging without seeing a plastic surgeon (well, mostly).

This guy is headed to jail.

Steven Spielberg has found his Lincoln.

Card From Grandma

Nothing like a little dose of Grandma Guilt on Thanksgiving.

Please note the random question at the end of the card.

Is the station having Thanksgiving there?

She might be remembering my early days in TV, where the only way any of us would get to eat a turkey dinner was while covering a charity event and the organization would take charity on us and feed us. Don't judge. We were in need. And poor. Note to kids wanting to get into television: this will likely be your future. Don't be too proud to take a free plate of food. It beats the vending machine. Or convenience store hot dogs - those will kill you.

So to answer grandma's card: Yes, I wish I could be with my family today. Instead, I'm spending it with my work family (What? Did you think elves put news on TV on holidays?). There will be turkey and most of the trimmings. There might even be some bickering to make me feel like I'm with my actual family.

REMEMBER: The rule of reading the "Card From Grandma" post is that you will never EVER tell my grandma that you've seen them on The Internet. She doesn't quite know how this works and it will just confuse her.

Related Post:

• Halloween 2010

Help. Me.

Friends, I have a problem. I can't stop adding books to my nightstand. Taking this picture this morning made me a bit ashamed.

If you follow this blog, you might recognize a few of those books from a post back in June. I started "7 Events That Made America America" and it's super slow. It might look like a small book, but the print is really small and I'm having a hard time getting past the bias. There's a very good chance I might not finish it. If you're interested in it, let me know and I'll send it to you. I haven't even opened "The Passage." I'm scared. It's too big (that's what she said) and I'm afraid that hauling it around could give me a back injury. If you're saying, "That's why you should have an eReader!" let me say this: that Tony Blair book has been attacked by soup not once but TWICE. I'm not sure if my hand thinks Tony needs to eat something or if I'm just so clumsy and that book is so big that I can't help but spill on it. To be clear, I haven't just splashed on the book. I have full-on covered the book in soup. I would be absolutely sick if I did that to an eReader of any kind! As for the book, it's interesting (once you get passed the whole MP business and down to the PM stuff), but I've been taking a slow approach to it. It's as if my little brain says, "Woah! Slow down! We can't handle all of that at once!"

I have been trying to balance the fiction with non-fiction. I think it's necessary to take a mental adventure after reading about the harsh truths. If I didn't try to find that balance, I'd be crazier/drunker. Note: I don't always drink when I'm reading. Sometimes I read at work and there's not booze there. Believe me. I've looked!

While I previously placed myself on book-buying probation, I am quite proud of the number of books I have read this year (see column on the right). It was my way of making sure I held myself accountable after making a pledge to read more books. That said, I am accepting books. I'm just trying not to buy them until I get through at least half of that stack. I think I might have a good chance at doing that since my favorite TV shows are coming to an end. Keep your eye posted on the right column for my progress. And if you want to read any of the books I have in that pile, let me know. I love to pass on a book!

Ten Things

Confession: I love Joan Rivers. I love her when she's mean. I love her when she's snarky (yes, there IS a difference). But the thing I love most is her honesty.

Everyone knows she's had plastic surgery because she's told all about it. I like that. Unlike some ladies, she's just telling us what's she's had done so no one says, "Why can't my eyebrows be closer to my hairline like Joan Rivers?" They CAN be. It'll cost you.

I decided to see what I can learn from her on Twitter. It's official: everything I know about aging, I have learned from Joan Rivers.

Don't Be Afraid To Look Like The Witch From "Snow White"

For comparison:

Hope Doctors Invent Female Viagra

You're Never Too Old For A Fresh Start

There Is A Reality Show For The Old Folks (If We All Dream)

I just hope there's no nudity!

There's A Bright Side To Daylight Saving Time

My Potty Mouth Makes Me Cultured

Just Because You're Old, You Don't Have To Say You Love Susan Boyle

Old People Don't Just Love Hard Candy

Never Accept Your Spinster Fate

You Only Need Plastic Surgery If You Plan To See People In Person

Now, I can't wait to grow old! It sounds like so much fun! Plus, you can be cranky, say what is on your mind and no one will say a thing to you! Wait. I do that already. Much love to Joan Rivers! I can only hope to have that much fun when I'm her age - whatever it is!

Related Posts:

• Ten Things About MC Hammer
• Ten Things About David Hasselhoff
• Ten Things About Larry King
• Ten Things About Kim Kardashian
• Ten Things About Ashton Kutcher

Adventures in Chocovine

It's been three months since I first spotted this mysterious bottle in the wine section of my local store.

After I made my immediate decision that it was not something I could embrace, I had a change of heart. Well, actually, it was not a bout of courage but a gift card that meant I did not have to shell out my own cash for something that sounds kind of disgusting.

A little background on this stuff...

As the bottle says, it's a combination of chocolate and red wine. Now, these are things I usually like. But does this drink have to look like Yoohoo? And before I'm accused of burying the lead, I had no idea until I got this bottle home that it has 14% alcohol. Who needs a Four Loko?

On to my mission: drink the bottle and see what happens.

7:30PM - Poured the first glass. Wow. It's really thick and more like Yoohoo than I thought. It smells a bit like chocolate milk, but a bit different. First sip: just a tiny taste to make sure it's not going to make me spew. It doesn't. I have another sip.

It's definitely chocolaty. But I don't taste the wine. There's a definite alcohol taste. I'm not sure what it is. I don't love this (yet), but I don't hate it (yet) either. BTW: Yes, I am wearing my Snuggie. I'm cold.


7:44- I have removed the Snuggie. Having a hot flash. Or am I gonna throw up? I haven't even finished half of the glass. Note: Pour small amounts into the glass. I'm not sure it tastes good once it's no longer ice cold. Maybe I should drink this over ice?

8:06- Making progress on glass number one. My mouth is really dry. And it tastes like I have just chugged a chocolate shake.

8:13- Bored. I have played around on the Internet. Nothing to see there. I'm now watching "Supersize Me." I want McDonald's.

8:23- Can't keep the cat away from the glass. Is this a good sign?

8:33 - I'm a quitter.

My head is starting to hurt. I'm afraid if I finish this glass, I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow. I have the sweetest taste in my mouth - worse than when I eat candy corn until I feel sick.

This stuff doesn't taste awful. It might not be bad poured over ice in a much smaller glass. I'll keep the rest of the bottle in my fridge.

I haven't checked for an expiration date, but I am pretty sure that I won't finish it by the end of the year - unless I get really desperate. I seriously feel hungover now. My head is pounding. The room is not spinning - yet. Oh, my stomach. It's not happy with me. I'm going to go brush my teeth and sit still. If you don't hear from me by Monday, send help.

UPDATE: 10:10AM Sunday
Head still hurts. Stomach is a bit angry. Giving serious thought to pouring out the rest of this stuff so I don't make the same mistake twice. 

Week in Pop Culture

It appears Tom Cruise has no fear.

What has Jennifer Lopez done to her face?

Here's a reality show I can't wait to deny I'm watching.

Get ready for a serious sausagefest at SNL in December.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway like being naked together.

They can make all the changes they want to "American Idol," and I still won't watch it after the auditions.

Reality strikes for another "real" housewife.

If this tour makes a stop near me, I might see it.

I'm not sure what a Leighton Meester is, but she doesn't seem to like clothing.

People's Sexiest Man Alive is...

Winona Ryder lives in the 80s.

This is the ONLY time I'm going to mention this divorce.

Flava Flav has a business plan.

Here's a rock feud that I could have cared about maybe 20 years ago.

Natalie Portman can rock a bikini.

My fave celeb stylist is preggers.

Kathy Griffin's reality show may be donesville.

Here are your GQ "Men of the Year."

Here's Halle Berry proving she's not always perfect.

I thought this guy only dated strippers.

It looks like Tom Jones has been Snooki'ed.

Look what's coming back to TV! Excited? Neither am I.

The number one show on cable this week was not that Sarah Palin thingy.

I refuse to see the new Teen Wolf.

As good as he is at acting, it does not seem like Christian Bale enjoys it.

I thought this lady was married, so her engagement is kind of a surprise.

Prince William has finally put a ring on it Kate Middleton.

Look who's designing swimwear your mom will like!

And look who's rocking a bikini!

GQ named it's "Babe of The Year."

Kendra Wilkinson's reality show became a little more revealing.

Remember Sebastian Bach? Maybe this will be a refresher.

Get ready for "Chilean Miners: The Movie."

This cameo could top Mike Tyson's in The Hangover.

I love The Great Gatsby so much, I wasn't sure I wanted a remake until I read this.

This girl is engaged and I hope she has learned not to let cameras into her life. And there's this question about her ring.

A sequel to Precious? I'm not sure I can handle it.

What? Like you don't wear a tank top and panties to yoga?

Seriously. Someone get Randy Quaid a reality show before something bad happens!

I could be on board with this possible sequel. I'm not so sure about these.

Fellas hoping to snag Olivia Munn, take note of this.

This talk show might be crazy enough for me to check out.

Halle Berry does this because she can.

Super smart Natalie Portman is writing a movie I might see.

I don't know why Guns N' Roses feels the need to crank out new music.

ICYMI: Late Night Laughs

I stay up late, not because I want to but because I can't crawl into bed and pass out as soon as I get home. So, I watch some TV. Tuesday night was fantastic, bizarre and a little inspiring. Let me break it down for you.

Fantastic
Jimmy Fallon's hour was full of all things Bruce Springsteen (it helped that The Boss was his only guest). This made me smile as I drifted into dreamland.

Brilliant.

Bizarre
This was my first stop on the late night adventure. And it rattled me. Earlier this week, I pointed out that Harrison Ford has become a parody of himself. His interview with Conan was so strange, I thought he might have had a stroke or something.

What's wrong with him? He kind of reminds me of my grandpa - not quite paying attention, mumbling a bit, saying random words. So crazy.

Inspiring
It's not every night I am inspired by a late night talk show host. Jimmy Kimmel spoke to me. Not like, "He's talking directly to me" through the TV, but "I heard his message and I'm gonna follow" spoke to me. Listen to this song.

So, here goes. I'm going through Facebook and Twitter. If I don't really know you or you have become inactive, we're breaking up. I love a little social media cleansing!

Kids, if your parents tell you you can't learn anything from staying up late, show this to them. I have learned so much in the middle of the night - and I didn't even make it to the infomercials/shopping channels!

Celebrity Chekhov

When I first heard about this book, I was curious. The cover seems to say it all, "Stuffy Russian guy with a hint of Hollywood paparazzi." My affection for silly celebrity news is displayed here every Friday (here's last week's note) and is scattered throughout this blog. Now, I could never get through a Russian novel. I always feel cold and sad with each page - two of my least favorite feelings. The idea of merging Chekhov's stories with pop culture characters appeared to be the perfect marriage for me!

The choice of celebrities is interesting. It's 2010 and dropping names like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie - who broke into our homes with their alleged reality show earlier this decade - seems out of touch. Nicole is a mother who makes headlines for her fashions. Paris is in the news for her accidental drug possession incidents. The story "Tall and Short" paints Nicole as the jealous one. Puhleaze. If anyone is jealous, it's Paris. The girl is clearly desperate for attention. And, though I understand it's a modern twist on these old stories, I would never, ever believe that Paris - a girl who's known for saying, "That's hot!" - would use a phrase like "official obsequiousness." Sorry. My inner gossip queen just took over.

The second story, which places David Letterman in a more believable predicament was fun. I also thought "Joy," in which Kim Kardashian delights in the release of her sex tape, could have been a true story.

I was especially creeped out by "A Classical Student." It might as well have been the real true story about Lindsay Lohan. I have always thought her mother pushed her too hard to take jobs (how else is she to maintain her lifestyle - get a job of her own?). I also believe, based on my years of reading tabloids, that Lindsay feels a great deal of pressure to financially take care of her family even though she clearly needs someone to take care of her emotionally. But Jesse James (that's right, he of the Sandra Bullock heart-breaking, Bombshell McGee whoring Jesse James) as the disciplinarian? Really. Disciplinarian. He spanks her with her head between his knees. I thought I had passed out while reading and started that story over. Yep. Spanking. Lindsay. Lohan. I feel just as dirty writing that as I did reading it.

"The Darling" centers on Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban and - what the huh? - Brad Pitt. That, along with "A Lady's Story" (overuse of the words "Justin" and "Timberlake") and "Terror" (Michael Douglas as an unsatisfied coffee shop owner) were so bizarre. They reminded me of those dreams that I have when I take an extra shot of NyQuil. What? It's to get over my sickness faster!

Some of the stories left me feeling a little sad and cold. It was not my favorite marriage (that's peanut butter and chocolate). But it was interesting. I will now tell people that I have read Chekhov. I just hope they don't ask me to name any characters!

Related Post:

• Review: Everything Is Going To Be Great

Not Necessary

Some of you may see this and think it's the perfect getaway. I see that and think it's nice until you actually have to sleep in a bag without heat or air conditioning and constant fear of animal attack.

What is relaxing about having that wake you up?

Also, when you camp, you have to do your, um, business in the wild. I am not a fan of that either. I already check the toilet to make sure there's not a snake that has slithered into the pipes (I've seen it in movies - don't tell me that can't happen!), so the idea of combing the ground for things that could jump up and bite me before I do my thing is out of the question.

Don't get me wrong. I like to sit outside by a fire and look at stars. I just don't want to sleep there. You might think this would be a perfect invention for people like me (and, yes, I know there aren't many of us out there - settle down).

A bubble tent! Think about it: by day, you can sweat inside the plastic on furniture that will stick to you. And by night...

you can try to sleep while spying wildlife that could rip through that plastic and leave you in pieces for vultures and small bugs to finish off.

I'm not even sure I'd use this in my backyard. The neighbor's kid already likes hanging over the fence to taunt the dog and say, "Hi!" so many times to me that I resist the urge to say mean things. Save this post as proof that I can exercise restraint when necessary.

If you think this is some fancy Photoshop work, take a look at the site advertising these getaways. Just because they don't show you the wildlife that could so easily kill you, that doesn't mean it's not there. I promise you, whatever you see won't be as cute and friendly as this.