Thursday, October 14, 2010

Card From Grandma

I have told stories about my grandmother to my friends and have been accused of embellishing things (or just plain making them up). So, I've decided to start sharing the proof here. Now, before I do this, I want to be clear about a few things:

  1. I'm not making fun of my beloved grandmother. 
  2. I'm not altering anything she's written.
  3. I think she might be afraid of the Internet so she'll never see this.
  4. If you tell her you've seen her writings, you are NOT to tell her you've seen it here. Tell her I shared the card with you.
Deal? If you're saying "no deal," you are obligated to stop reading here.

Grandma sends cards for every occasion. This week, I received this one for Halloween.

Now, the translation.

I assume only the dog owners on her card list received this one (I haven't done the fact checking on that - yet). Knowing my grandma, I'm right.

Now to the card.
Gee, but we haven't seen you in some time -- guess your job keeps you busy.
Translation: We really shouldn't be driving, so we have a good excuse for not coming to see you. You are young and have good eyes, so why the heck haven't you come to see us?
Gramps and I go to exercise, eat lunch and then nap time which can last til 4p. Needless to say we don't get much done.
Translation: If you come to see us, you either must get on our schedule or save your visit until after 4pm. I do love that card writing does still get crossed off the "to do" list.
Does your station dress up for "H"? At work we did and it was fun -- also out of work.
Translation: "H" is Halloween. I spent a few days with grandma at her last job and I have to say, I'm not sure what work she was getting out of. She had the luxury of showing up to work when she was ready (usually after her morning date with Regis), then getting a cup of hot tea (she doesn't drink coffee). It seems like lunch with the ladies came about quickly and lasted longer than an hour. Then, it was a bit of typing (typewriter, not computer - she got out before those things invaded) and then lights out before 4:00. Also, she had a comfortable sofa in the waiting area and might have turned out the lights to take a nap every now and then. Note: I don't think this is a secret to anyone, but she'd probably be mad if I said she slept on the job - not that it was part of her daily routine.

So, that's my first documentation of how my grandma's mind works. I'm also afraid it's exactly how mine will work in about five decades. Stay tuned. Grandma's Thanksgiving card is coming soon!
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