Friday, October 29, 2010

Week In Pop Culture

Ellen has the best Halloween costume yet.

Click here if you can't guess the gold girl.
I do believe Oprah is wearing at least one pair of Spanx here.

Mariah Carey finally made this announcement.

The last thing this ad makes me think of is perfume.

Kid Rock is apparently not a fan of American Idol.

Is this a good reason for your bestie to skip your wedding?

A magazine regrets this cover girl.

Have ya seen Debbie Harry lately?

Rachel Dratch has revealed her baby daddy.

I am usually impressed by wax figures. This one hardly looks like the real thing.

I have two things to say about this movie:1) not necessary; 2) Manson will be hot, which makes me uncomfortable.

I'm not sure I'm excited about these sequels.

Miley Cyrus' parents are breaking up.

News about the next Batman movie has me looking forward to 2012.

Janet Jackson says she used to have to bind her breasts.

Getting booted from Dancing With The Stars can be a good thing.

Blake Lively is no longer dating her co-star.

She can't always look great.

I know Back To The Future came out 25 years ago. But how is it the stars have hardly aged?

This news makes me even more excited for that Muppet movie.

I love the Most Influential Man of 2010.

I predict the first F-bomb on this HBO special will drop in less than 30 seconds.

Is Justin Timberlake a cheater? Whatever. He can still sing.

If you were hoping for Courtney Cox and David Arquette to reunite, you might not want to see this. And whatever you do, don't read this.

Rihanna is definitely over Chris Brown.

This crazy talk won't get me to watch Celebrity Apprentice.

Pause for David Beckham.

Another example Hollywood is out of new ideas: another TV show where singers are judged is headed to Bravo.

It appears that Footloose remake isn't even going to be an update of the 80s film.

Swimsuit models are tough.

Prediction: The Situation will either be sterile from STDs or his wiener will fall off.

I wonder how Charlie Sheen will explain this? Oh, wait. He's already back at work.

Is Taylor Swift really dating this guy?

Money may never sleep on Wall Street, but apparently love doesn't last there either.

This totally makes me think of Kanye West. See it in context here.

I will totally join Madonna's gym if I can have her body (minus the freaky, veiny arms).

I still can't believe Keith Richards has enough memory to recall his earlier years, but, somehow, he dredged up this wee bit of information.

Ryan Gosling has gotten into the way back machine.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand tied the knot.

I don't care what Natalie Portman's dad thinks, I can't wait to see Black Swan.

Celine Dion has babies, baby.

Matt Damon now has his fourth daughter.

I doubt parents of "Glee" watchers would approve of this.

Scarlett Johansson's new hair is cute.

Lindsay Lohan seems more interested in her floundering career than saving her life.

Here's Amy Winehouse looking better than Lindsay Lohan.

BREAKING NEWS: Jared Leto is hot again.

WHEW! The Quaids are in jail! AGAIN.

Rest in peace, Paul the Octopus.

R.I.P., Lisa Blount.
R.I.P., Danno.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

It's Not Just TV

Of all the magazines I get, Marie Claire is one of my favorites. Its glossy covers make it appear to be any other fashion magazine. Once you flip the pages, you see that it has so much more content. It has newsy-type stories on current events (great for learning about women's issues around the world). It has the celebrity profile. And it even has a curvy (full-figured, plus size - whatever you want to call her) fashion editor who offers advice for girls just like her.

All of that makes me wonder why this post about tubbies on TV has caused such outrage. The post asks if people are comfortable seeing overweight people making out on television. The issue, the CBS show Mike & Molly.
Writer Maura Kelly (a recovered anorexic) says no.
I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair.
Well, when you put it that way, who's interested? Do Mike and Molly represent all of America? No. But they do represent a growing (no pun intended) portion of the country. I've never watched the show, so I don't know if the characters sit around eating potato chips and ice cream while complaining about their size. Note: I chose not to watch the show because the previews did not seem funny, not because of the size of the stars. But if they're real people dealing with the real issues everyone - no matter their size - face, what's the harm? I think it's hard not to address their size. I would think the writers and the actors recognize that in a responsible way.

Mike and Molly could be funny. They could be fictional soul mates who inspire others in their body shapes to find love. What Maura Kelly has written (and I encourage you to read her entire post - including her response to the criticism) does seem harsh and judgy. Don't write off her comments as some criticism of a TV show. What she has written is criticism of real life. If you don't look like Maura or act like Maura, she's put off by you.

What if we were in a different time period and she said the same thing about a biracial couple? Would that be OK? As a journalist, I have great faith in the First Amendment. I wouldn't have started this blog if I didn't want to share my opinions with the world (BTW, I am totally amazed by the people who find this blog on other continents). I just can't get past her comments, even after reading this update to her post:

I would like to reiterate that I think it's great to have people of all shapes and healthy sizes represented in magazines (as, it bears mentioning here, they are in Marie Claire) and on TV shows — and that in my post, I was talking about a TV show that features people who are not simply a little overweight, but appear to be morbidly obese. (Morbid obesity is defined as 100 percent more than their ideal weight.)  And for whatever it's worth, I feel just as uncomfortable when I see an anorexic person as I do when I see someone who is morbidly obese, because I assume people suffering from eating disorders on either end of the spectrum are doing damage to their bodies, and that they are unhappy. But perhaps I shouldn’t be so quick to judge based on superficial observations.

I am certain she would not like it if someone said they couldn't stand the idea of watching her skinny self make out with a guy in skinny jeans. Not that I'm judging.

I am not planning to boycott Marie Claire because of this writer's comments. I don't think I'll give much weight (again, no pun intended) to her future articles. Maura Kelly should stick to writing dating tips. The only appropriate mention of size should be about, well, you know. Otherwise, I'll give her words the same treatment as I have given that TV show.  

Stuck In My Head

I have a tendency to get a silly pop song in my head. But lately, I've struggled to get a commercial out of my head. The first one is not even well sung. Warning: clicking play could result in the song being stuck in your head, too.

It reminds me a little bit of my mother, who will turn random things into a song. Also, it's about my mother's level of singing (not to get all Randy Jackson, but she can be pitchy). I don't think this will bother her as she does not have dreams of being a singer - not even in a commercial.

Is this for real? Did the Truvia people really pay someone to write and try to sing this? I suppose the fact that the words get stuck in my head is somewhat effective. However, it's not encouraging me to by the sweetener. I give them credit for sticking with an advertising plan. There are a whole lot of these ads online. They're pretty, but, man, are they annoying!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Do You Mind?

I love you. Really. I do. The fact that you're reading this gives me warm fuzzies.

But can we talk?

Seriously. Put your phone down so we can chat.


You can love your phone or your smart phone all you want. It won't love you back. The battery will die when you need it most. You'll drop a call when some one's telling you something mildly important. The screen will crack, making it impossible for you to screen your call.

But this is not why we're here.

I'd like to make a few simple requests to keep the peace. Note: by "keep the peace," I mean "keep me from murdering you.

Quiet Down
I have a silly ring tone. Most of you will never hear it. Know why? Because when I leave the house, I turn off the ringer. I don't want to torture a restaurant, store or my co-workers with my singing phone. But you? You don't seem to mind that the rest of us have to sit through beeps, bells or the latest Rihanna song for an entire cycle because you are nowhere near your phone when it rings. What's worse than not being near your ringing phone: letting it ring while it sits in front of you. If you're screening calls, that's fine. Just turn that phone off. When you have it at maximum volume and you let it ring until the caller hangs up or the voicemail takes charge, that's not just rude. It's super rude!

Even if you have an non-smart phone, it like has a vibrate switch. Look for it now. I'll wait.

Found it? Good. Use it. Or I'll lose it.

Eyes Up Here
Now, this one is a toughie. I sometimes find myself glancing at my phone during an actual conversation. But let's all make an effort to put the phones down when we're talking. I always feel like I'm not important when someone glances at his/her phone during our conversation. I am trying not to glance at my phone when it lights up to tell me about a text/e-mail/Facebook/Twitter update. It's not easy. It's become my crutch.

I'll make this promise: I won't do it when I genuinely want to hear what you have to say. If you don't have my full attention, it's my way of quietly telling you how I feel. Of course, you'll only know my truth if you're still reading this. Otherwise, it's our little secret. ;)

Oh, Hush! Keep It Down Now! Voices Carry!
Note: I am so proud of myself for finally working a 'Til Tuesday reference into this blog! Yay, me! When you're on a cell phone, they actually have fantastic little microphones in them. When you shout at your cell phone, you're shouting at me - even if we're not on the phone. I don't want to hear about your baby mama/daddy drama. I don't want to know who some stranger slept with (unless it's someone I know, then I'm all ears). I don't want to know anything about your business - personal or otherwise - unless we're talking face to face. If you're in a room and it's too noisy, step outside - and I mean outside (not in the hall), have your conversation and then rejoin us. If you can't do this, I might just start blogging/tweeting your side of the conversation while imagining what's happening on the other end. Note: I'm REALLY good at this. Ask Trevor. I recreate the final minutes of "Private Practice" without hearing the end of it.

You're Taking That WHERE?!?
I will make small talk with you when we walk into the ladies room or while we stand in line. However, if you bring a third party into the ladies room (and it rings/vibrates), I might just knock slap you both. The potty is no place for talk. That's hard for me to say as I do have potty mouth tendencies. But when you start having a conversation on the phone while I'm trying to pee, it makes me want to make a fuss. I really wish I could command myself to vomit/have explosive diarrhea just to blow the cover of those ladies who talk on the toilet. I will make one exception: if you're caught in an emergency, please call 9-1-1. No emergency? Wait until you wash your hands and walk out of the ladies' room. Also, if you're a toilet talker, please let me know before you let me use your phone.

If we can all follow these little suggestions, the world will be a nicer place. Well, at least I'll be a little less ragey. Isn't that what it's all about?

Monday, October 25, 2010

Outside The Actors Studio

Though I might be a bit dramatic at times, I am not an actress. I recently came across an episode of Inside the Actors Studio and it provided the inspiration behind this post. Towards the end of the show, James Lipton asks the guest the same questions. You don't have to be an actor to answer these. Here's proof:

What is your favorite word?

What is your least favorite word?
The C Word

What is your favorite sound or noise?

What is your least favorite sound or noise?
Glenn Beck

What turns you on?

What turns you off?

What's your favorite curse word?
F--k (Note: I tried to find video of Ben Affleck explaining the greatness of this word and its many uses, but Google failed me)

What profession other than your own would you like to undertake?
If it comes without the fear, I'd like to research great white sharks.

What profession would you not undertake?
Above with the fear or anything that requires me to get my hands dirty.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you get to the pearly gates?
We have a cocktail waiting for you.

Those are my answers. Feel free to share your own in the comments section. If you post them somewhere else, please include a link.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Week in Pop Culture

What? Like YOU don't go out for a beer dressed like this.

THE HORROR! A couple of celebrity exes showed up at the same restaurant on the same night.

If you have a few million, you can buy Heather Mills' NYC home.

I don't know who this is, but I do know her eyebrows are crazy.

A couple of athletes are engaged.

It seems like Lisa Marie did not know that she was not exactly Michael Jackson's, um, taste.

Jennifer Lopez has put her twins to work.

Speaking of twins... guess who's returning to Playboy?

Here's a soon-to-be ABC show. I give it four episodes.

Julianne Moore is 49.

DVR alert: here's the guest list for Conan's first week. You can watch this until then.

Kim Kardashian's shoes attacked her.

This convinces me Helena Bonham Carter has horrible hygiene.

Here's a book I won't buy.

This is allegedly Jennifer Aniston's diet.

I'm pretty sure even babies thought about milk before they saw Sofia Vergara in this ad.

"Glee" is not exactly for the kids.

Have you seen the girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" lately?

Ladies, notice the $2 million bra. Fellas, notice the boobs. You're welcome.

Paris Hilton says she's done with the partying. I'll believe it when she goes a year without a drug arrest.

Is Beyonce with baby? Or not?

An actress from one of my favorite Hitchcock movies has cancer.

I think Kanye West might have multiple personalities. And he obviously has too much money.

These hairy pits belong to an Academy Award winner.

Things are getting pretty real for this "Housewife."

Heather Locklear's daughter is modeling.

No one should be photographed from this angle.

Guess who's returning to Pirates of the Caribbean?

Taylor Swift might be singing a song about John Mayer?

Uma Thurman needs to check the mirror before she leaves.

Katy Perry is designing nail polishes now? Also - I want them.

Not gonna lie. I dig this song.

Please tell me Randy and Evi Quaid are shooting a reality series.

Lady GaGa does beachwear like no one else.

OMG! Here's a movie that already has me excited about the soundtrack!

Will Arnett is super funny. But it appears America does not get that.

Just when I was getting excited about The Hangover 2, this happens. And I might not be the only one unhappy with that. UPDATE: It's not gonna happen.

No good can come from wearing Ed Hardy, jerks.

Seriously, Halle Berry?

This former sex pot appears to be getting into politics.

Blame Ashton Kutcher and Twitter for another bad TV idea.

ABC is also bringing back another dud.

I hope this Christina Hendricks story is not true.

Add Leif Garrett to the celebrity rehab bunch.

Jennifer Lopez makes my breasts hurt.

Hello, Jenny McCarthy.

If you believe this rumor, Christina Aguilera's marriage was doomed.

Neil Patrick Harris is officially a daddy.

Guess which superhero is coming to ABC.

If you've seen Eva Longoria and wondered if she can rap, let this settle your brain.

If Raquel Welch can make 70 the new 40, what am I? A toddler? Wait. Don't answer that.
UPDATE: I'm replacing this awesome picture of her with an email I received today - nearly two  years after I posted this.
I'm not sure if it's legit, but if it is, these people clearly don't know how the interwebs work. ALL of the pictures I use in these weekly posts do not belong to me. I have never represented them as mine. Also, if you take two seconds to move your mouse over each image, you'll see they're actually PHOTO LINKS to the original source with stories. DUMMIES. I'm giving headline-y links. It's up to people who have found this blog to click every picture/highlighted phrase to get more information.

R.I.P., America's Mom.
And R.I.P., Tom Bosley.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Real Life Is Better Than Fiction

Every now and then, I see a movie that makes me question reality. The last one: Inception. At times, I wondered if I was really awake in the theater or dreaming. I have yet to have a dream that involves a floating fight scene, but I am hopeful I'll get to do that (and come out victorious, of course)!

The latest "thinker" was a bit of a surprise. 127 Hours. Wow. Here's the trailer.

NOTE: I'm about to get into detail about this movie. If you're not familiar with the story, stop reading now. Don't be angry with me later.

Now, I am not a huge fan of James Franco. In fact, I often want to punch him in the face. He always seems to play the same type: high or bisexual (and it makes me think he's just the same in real life). But this story, a real story, was intriguing. Aron Ralston went for what should have been a routine climb in Utah's Bluejohn Canyon. The movie shows how much this guy loves adventure: he bikes for hours to get to a place where he can climb. He meets two young women who are lost and takes them on a climb. He gets them to fall through a crevice to a watering hole - repeatedly. Then, he sets off for his destination. Things go horribly wrong when he gets his arm trapped by a rock.

And here's where the movie becomes creepy.

You see, I have no sense of adventure. If there is the most remote chance that I could get hurt - even a minor injury - I am not interested. So, the idea of being in an isolated place where you can't get help? Not my idea of a good time. Also, Aron set out on a Friday night without telling anyone where he was going and when to expect him back. When he realizes that his co-worker wouldn't report him missing until mid-day Tuesday at best and that police wouldn't start looking for him for 24 hours - terrifying! I have a deal with my co-workers that if I don't show up for work and I'm not answering my phones, come to my house. I'm near-death or dead (in my case, I hope that if something happens, it's on a Sunday to increase my chances of survival - otherwise, I fear the cat - not the dog - will eat me).

No tool will help this engineer wiggle free of the large rock that has wedged him in this crevice. Also, he has no pants - just shorts - and it gets really cold at night. Aron eventually realizes his only shot at survival is to amputate his arm. Now, he's been talking to a video camera, specifically to his parents through most of this. I'm not sure if that's because it kept him from going crazy or if he just wanted them to know that he loved them. There's one scene that didn't seem to belong in the movie. I can forgive that. But the decision to cut off a body part? I cannot relate.

Watch Aron talk about how he made that decision. I would have liked to have seen that in the movie. Instead, it becomes one graphic scene that made me look away from the screen. Relief! Oh, no. He had to get out of that area with his bloody stump. He manages. He finds some hikers. Help comes and takes him away.

He's still climbing. He now tells people where he's going. Wise. I would like to think that I might get to the same mental place as Aron if I had to fight for my own survival. Maybe I'll ask myself "What would Aron do?"

By the way, James Franco was amazing in this role. If he is nominated for an Academy Award, I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't even mind if he won.

My recommendation: see this movie when it's released in November. Just don't get any gummy candy to snack on during the last half hour. Look past the flashy scenes at the beginning and the end that seem to have nothing to do with the story and are a reminder that the film's director was also behind "Slumdog Millionaire" (though there's no game show in this movie).

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

When Love Kills

If you were expecting some sort of serious, deep post, stop reading now.

I was flipping through the October issue of Glamour and I came across this rave page.
Now, I love reading about shows, music, movies and books because I'm always looking for something new to entertain me. But I realized this page might be more of a curse.

I always giggle at Will Arnett. I kind of like the show (though I admit I have a few episodes on my DVR just begging me to press play). But it's not doing so well. Don't blame me. Blame Glamour for loving it. Also, blame the magazine for the demise of these shows:
Lone Star and My Generation were axed after less than three episodes. Hellcats is still alive - but it's on the CW. What are they going to replace it with?

Now, I understand that when I ready Glamour, I'm flipping through a girlie magazine that assumes its readers all adore chick flicks and chick lit. So it should come as no surprise that the magazine is recommending this movie.
I wouldn't see this movie if you told me Katherine Heigl gets ripped to shreds by Freddy Krueger. I don't like her. I don't think a movie with this predictable ending will change my mind. I don't think I would change my mind if she called and begged me to give her a chance.

I'm a little more sympathetic to these movies, but I don't think they'll be big blockbuster hits (not even at Blockbuster).
That Emma Roberts movie looks cute, but I'm not rushing to the theater to see it. And, surprise!, another rom-com with Josh Duhamel and Katie Holmes? Just because Glamour calls it a "modern-day St. Elmo's Fire" doesn't mean I'll even add this to my Netflix queue (and I have some random stuff in there).

Here's the final pitch on the page:
I really love this album. I don't really see much of a difference between The Killers and a Killer-less Brandon Flowers. I don't think this will be at the top of the iTunes chart (that's what people pay attention to these days, right?), but I don't care. I like it even if Glamour does, too.

I just hope that if I'm ever on a TV show/movie or dare to sing they don't show me the love. I don't think I can handle that kind of a curse.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Candy TOTALLY Gets Me!

M&Ms are one of my favorite candies. If I am having a bag all to myself, I like to separate them by color and eat them by pairs. Walk by my desk on an M&M day, and you'll see this.
Plenty of co-workers have said this is strange (though the lady making sure our new phone system actually works told me she does the same). It's a thing I do. Get over it. Besides, since I like to eat my M&Ms in pairs, I give away the lonely ones that don't have a same-colored mate.

I have fully embraced this OCD behavior. And, it seems, my beloved candy has, too.

Behold their new Fall campaign.
M&Ms, perfectly segregated by color and made into delicious, candy coated chocolate leaves! Sure, they're probably computer generated, but I'm kind of inspired to by these special Fall colored candies to make my own edible leaves.

M&M, I love you. Now, more than ever!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Why "He's Just Not That Into You" Is Bad For Women

I'm not talking about the book. I never read that (though plenty of girlfriends carried it around like it was a Bible, preaching the message). When I heard that gospel, I couldn't believe it took a book for my friends to understand that if a guy doesn't call you, he's not interested. Duh. Also, I might be a smidge jealous that I didn't write that book first.

Anywho... I woke up Saturday morning with the same headache that bothered me Friday night. I climbed out of bed and plopped down on the sofa. I was looking for mindless television. I came across the movie version of this book. It has done two things to me: made my head hurt and made me get on my laptop to try to save you ladies from yourselves.
The movie starts off with the little lessons I've gathered from the book. WARNING: I'm getting into details on this movie, so if you haven't seen it but want to, stop reading now. I mean it!

The movie starts with this couple. First date. Awkward conversation. He's nice. She's eager. Too eager.

He sticks around for a second drink. She's mentally preparing her wedding registry.

End of the night, he says he'll call. She immediately calls a girlfriend, optimistic that they have chemistry and that he might be "The One."

Days pass. He doesn't call. She begins the analysis. Friends tell her he'll call. She resorts to stalking him. Her biggest mistake: the guy who owns the bar is friends with her potential soul mate. He becomes the truth teller: that guy isn't going to call because he's not into her.

And after many more lessons, mostly involving whether a guy will call (ladies, if he's going on any kind of trip, he can still call you - and if he says he can't because he's "going off the grid," there's a good chance that's code for "spending the weekend with my wife" or "checking into my court ordered weekend jail time" - RUN), she convinces herself that this advice giver loves her.

Here's where I roll my eyes first. She's dumb. He sees that. He wants to help (if you don't have guy friends who will be honest with you about this, you're making a huge mistake, ladies). But in the end, the guy does fall for her. They wind up at some game night where they win by her shouting "LOL" stands for "laugh out loud." One more dash of "lame." What's the lesson learned from this? Cling to the manfriend who keeps you from making a fool out of yourself because one day he'll realize he loves you.

Here's the sad, makeup-free who is overwhelmed by technology. She actually discusses all the ways a guy can reject you (MySpace, email, voicemail, text).

She even resorts to an iChat date, only to realize she got played.

She finds love with the first guy in the movie. He advertises his real estate business in her gay-friendly publication. She sees him across a not-so-crowded cafe and they chat.

By the end of the movie, it's love.

Message: mope about the losers who make you feel bad about yourself and one day, you'll finally connect a voice you've only heard to a face you've just seen for the first time. If a fairy godmother had been there to wave her magical wand over this couple, I would have thought, "Oh. Now that makes sense."

Only, he didn't find love with the sad girl until he got dumped by the pretty girl who thought he was nice, but didn't feel any chemistry with him.

He saw a future in the girl who invited him over to give her back rubs and cuddle with her. Cuddle. That's all. Even the gays in his life told him that was bad news.

Once she told him she wanted the whole marriage and kids thing, just not with him, he moved on and so did she. To India.

She thought she had found love with this guy. She met him at a store. He offered to help her get into the music business. Ladies, if a guy ever offers to help you get into the music/modeling/acting business, DON'T DO IT. Unless you know for a fact (and by that, I mean know real people he's helped - not this "a friend of a friend" business), then there's a good chance that help will involve a drugged drink and a casting couch.

Her error: this guy is married. He's not in a happy marriage, but still, he told her he was married. But when her friend (makeup-free girl) tells a story about a man who was married but met a woman he believed he loved, he ended that marriage to start a new one, she believes that story can be hers, too.


A man who will cheat with you on his wife is bound to repeat his ways. She gets out of this mess when she's hiding in a closet, half-naked as his wife asks him if he wants to fix their relationship. He says he does. The wife leaves. And so goes the girl. The lesson: you cheat, you wind up alone. Until the next girl.

That wife, seen here on the right, learns of his cheating and decides to try to work it out.

They have a lovely home they've been remodeling. Everything looks perfect.

Oh, but it's not.

It's not the cheating that breaks her. It's a carton of cigarettes he's been hiding.

Does she go crazy to dump him? Briefly. She breaks a mirror, sweeps it up, then neatly folds and lines up all his clothing on a staircase, complete with a note saying she wants a divorce in perfect handwriting. Her lesson: you can look like the perfect couple in a perfect home, but the only thing that's perfect is your unhappiness. Sad girl.

In the beginning, they appeared happy. They weren't married - he was opposed to the whole "paying for a piece of paper" thing. While she said she was OK with that, she really wasn't.

They split up. She has family drama and he comes to her rescue. She decides she wants to be with him anyway. He eventually proposes. By the end of the movie, they're putting a ring on it while on a sailboat.

The lesson: hang in there for a decade or so, and you'll be the one getting married.

This whole movie preaches about those stories being the exception, not the rule. But in the end, everyone breaks those rules and becomes the exception (well, except for the couple that breaks up, but that was their own happy ending). What kind of message is that? It gives women the idea that they should make every date into a relationship. And every relationship should lead to marriage and family. If it doesn't, you're the sad girl who is all wah-wah about guys that don't call or guys who only make booty calls.

I understand why women love these movies. But I also think the movies should come with a warning that the stories are fictional and should not be turned into some fantasy about how life should be. We don't all get to have the perfect ending - and that's what's really wrong with these movies. They make women think that's what they're supposed to have. It doesn't work out that way for many people. That's life. But these movies also make guys presume all women are desperate to be married and have children. The slightest hint of clinginess or baby craziness and he's out the door. You become "Crazy #167" in his book and "Do Not Answer" on his phone.

So, ladies, I offer this to you as a cautionary tale. Go. See those movies. Read those books. But don't feel like you have to make that your life. Our paths are all different. You don't get to wind up on the table eating birthday cake with Jake Ryan.

That was a movie.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Week In Pop Culture

This is how Katy Perry sells perfume.

Madonna hates Chicago and actresses.

I hope Gerard Butler's hair looks like this for a really bad movie role.

There's a secret to getting Kanye West to follow you on Twitter.

VH1's "Divas" are performing for a good cause. I couldn't pick most of them out of a photo lineup.

Nicole Richie takes on the photogs who are staked out outside her daughter's school. Creeps.

If you're brave, click here to see Katherine Heigl in a bikini.

This might be the worst swimsuit calendar ever.

Halle Berry without makeup still looks better than me with a fully made-up face.

Here's Perez Hilton saying he's not going to be a bully anymore.

LOVE Helen Mirren. Did not want to see her boob.

Which one is real and which one is wax?

T.I. is a life saver.

Here's one reason not to be friends with Kanye West on myspace (does anyone still use that site?).

I'm not sure I'll "tumble 4" this reunion.

My favorite werewolf is engaged.

Gavin Rossdale made man love.

Why, Donald Trump, WHY?

Here's news that reassures me that Lindsay Lohan is not ready to be released into the wild.

Hugh Jackman and his arms. Just because.

Joan Collins isn't impressed by the ladies of Hollywood.

I hope it's not too soon to talk about this. Because if it's true, this will be the most stylish baby ever.

Kids shows appear to be the new thing. Maybe?

Brigitte Nielsen. Um. No.

Ashlee Simpson had a makeover.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Johnny Depp. But could he please stop working with Tim Burton?

Guess who's going to rehab. If you guessed me, you're wrong, sucka.

Another day, another celebrity couple splits up.


Alec Baldwin learned the hard way what happens when you text during a movie.

Bourne without Matt Damon? No, thank you.

Brad Pitt made a serious wrong turn.

Note to Kim Kardashian: When you pose for magazines like this, you cannot be surprised/angry/disappointed when people publish nude pictures of you.

I knew Carrie Fisher did drugs, but I had no idea her problem was this bad.

Just for attention, Lisa Rinna has revealed she turned down a deal on a casting couch.

I'm a little surprised at this breakup news. And it's already gotten ugly.

But one couple has become more than "Friends."

It's official: Mischa Barton is better known as fashion victim than for her "acting."

Ladies, can we all agree to hate Giesele Bundchen?

That guy from Brothers and Sisters got married over the weekend.

Click With Caution: Photo of a shirtless Aaron Carter here.

Esquire has chosen its "Sexiest Woman Alive." I'm not really that impressed.

This is ALWAYS a fashion "don't."

If this washed up rock star's autobiography doesn't come with an STD test, I'm not buying it.

I didn't need this cover to convince me to buy Tina Fey's book (but it doesn't hurt)!

This might be the most perfect casting news ever.

Anyone else tired of Ashton and Demi's visual reminders that they are still very much a couple? Yes? Then, don't click on that link.

I didn't peg Denise Richards as much of a reader. But she is apparently a writer.

Katherine Heigl knows I don't like her.But even this won't get me to like her - not even a little.

Jane Lynch bared it all for a giggle.

Here's Michelle Williams as Marilyn Monroe.
Even though I don't love Kim Kardashian, I wouldn't do this to her.

Three captains are returning to The Deadliest Catch.

R.I.P., Solomon Burke.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Card From Grandma

I have told stories about my grandmother to my friends and have been accused of embellishing things (or just plain making them up). So, I've decided to start sharing the proof here. Now, before I do this, I want to be clear about a few things:

  1. I'm not making fun of my beloved grandmother. 
  2. I'm not altering anything she's written.
  3. I think she might be afraid of the Internet so she'll never see this.
  4. If you tell her you've seen her writings, you are NOT to tell her you've seen it here. Tell her I shared the card with you.
Deal? If you're saying "no deal," you are obligated to stop reading here.

Grandma sends cards for every occasion. This week, I received this one for Halloween.

Now, the translation.

I assume only the dog owners on her card list received this one (I haven't done the fact checking on that - yet). Knowing my grandma, I'm right.

Now to the card.
Gee, but we haven't seen you in some time -- guess your job keeps you busy.
Translation: We really shouldn't be driving, so we have a good excuse for not coming to see you. You are young and have good eyes, so why the heck haven't you come to see us?
Gramps and I go to exercise, eat lunch and then nap time which can last til 4p. Needless to say we don't get much done.
Translation: If you come to see us, you either must get on our schedule or save your visit until after 4pm. I do love that card writing does still get crossed off the "to do" list.
Does your station dress up for "H"? At work we did and it was fun -- also out of work.
Translation: "H" is Halloween. I spent a few days with grandma at her last job and I have to say, I'm not sure what work she was getting out of. She had the luxury of showing up to work when she was ready (usually after her morning date with Regis), then getting a cup of hot tea (she doesn't drink coffee). It seems like lunch with the ladies came about quickly and lasted longer than an hour. Then, it was a bit of typing (typewriter, not computer - she got out before those things invaded) and then lights out before 4:00. Also, she had a comfortable sofa in the waiting area and might have turned out the lights to take a nap every now and then. Note: I don't think this is a secret to anyone, but she'd probably be mad if I said she slept on the job - not that it was part of her daily routine.

So, that's my first documentation of how my grandma's mind works. I'm also afraid it's exactly how mine will work in about five decades. Stay tuned. Grandma's Thanksgiving card is coming soon!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Cougar Sighting

I can't say for a fact that the lady I have seen is a cougar. She could be in a happy marriage with her husband of the same age. But because this is my blog and I can write what I want, I'm going to tell her story the way I see it.

I'm on my way to work and decide I must make a stop at Sonic for a limeade. While I sit in the drive-thru (why make the car hop tramp about to my car when they have a drive-thru lane?), I find myself thinking Sonic really needs to consider adding tequila to its drink add-ons. Then, something catches my eye.
It's hard to look away from a Porsche. Even harder when the license plate is a bit off.
"Oh. My. God. I'm 46?"

Then, the driver steps out of the car to pick something up. This was when I realized she might be impressed with her age. You see, she was so tan she was the color of a broken-in baseball glove. Her hair was died so blonde it was white (I get this, older ladies, as you don't notice the gray). And her boobs? Well, let's just say her car, tanning and hair color aren't her only expenses. In fact, when I saw her, I thought of this lady.
Who really wants to look like Hulk Hogan's ex-wife?

Um, I guess the lady in the Sonic drive-thru.

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