Now Showing: More Movies I Won't See

Another month, another list of movies that don't seem to be worth my time. I'll get right to the list.

Hatchet 2

Where do I start??? Well, let's see. I haven't seen Hatchet. Seeing a sequel to a movie I haven't seen is just silly. That'd be like going to see Shrek 3 without seeing the original. I'd be totally lost.

Chain Letter

CHAIN LETTER: Movie Trailer. Watch more top selected videos about: Nikki Reed, Nikki reed

Ugh. I don't even like actual chain letters (are you reading this, mom?), so the idea of a movie featuring this awful concept makes me wish bad things on people who green light these kind of films.

Case 39

Really? There's no way this movie can be good. It was shot in 2006. Seems like someone had some sense to shelf this one. NOOOO. Now that Renee Zellwegger and Bradley Cooper are together, this movie sounds like a good idea, Hollywood? I'm betting you won't see either of these stars promoting it on your favorite talk shows - daytime or otherwise.

Barry Munday

No. Absolutely not.

Life As We Know It

I wouldn't see this movie with YOUR eyes. I have no interest in a movie starring Katherine Heigl. Not even if she dies at the end.

Secretariat

I like this movie when I saw it the first time - you know, when it was called Seabiscuit. And John Malkovich in a Disney film? Nothing right about that.

My Soul To Take

Nope. This seems familiar. Like a guy named Jason might have played this trick near a lake.

Jackass 3D

Why? I curse James Cameron for inspiring other directors to make horrible movies worse by putting them in 3D!

Red

This cast is interesting. The idea of Helen Mirren shooting 'em up? Can't do it.

Paranormal Activity 2

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Monsters

No. 


Saw 3D

Who's watching this crap? And again, CURSES, JAMES CAMERON! CURSES!

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest

I haven't read these books. I also know they're making these movies in English. I almost feel like seeing this, then the English version would be too much.

Movies I want to see:

• The Social Network - I first thought I did not want to see this. A movie about Facebook? But the more I see about this one, the more I think I'll give it a shot.
• Let Me In - I saw the original version of this film and was creeped out - even though I had to read the subtitles (disclosure: I somehow started watching this dubbed - horrible mistake). Each viewing of the trailer makes me think this could be good. I'll just have to see it in the afternoon so I can sleep at night.
• Freakonomics - I have never counted economics as one of my strengths. I will watch this to feel a little bit smarter than I am right now. Also, I never read the book, so don't tell me how this ends.
• It's Kind of a Funny Story
• Inside Job
• Stone
• Conviction
• Hereafter
• The Company Men

Seriously, work is getting the way of all my fun. If any of you want to bankroll my movie time so I can get all of these movies off my list, please send me a check.