Saturday, July 31, 2010

Star Sighting?

The other day, I was out picking up some dinner when I saw this:
Here's a closer look:
For some reason, I first thought of singer/actress Mandy Moore.
Then, I thought, "Why would she be here in a red mustang?" Then, I realized it was probably some other Mandy M. So, I turned to Google. This is what I found:

None of those Mandys (or Mandies - I don't know the plural of that name) are anywhere close to San Antonio. So I got more specific with my Google search. And if I'm going to use my imagination/self-imposed stereotypes, I'm gonna say this one is the winner. If I'm right, this blog entry of hers makes me a little sad. If she somehow finds this blog, I'd like to say this to Mandy: Never stop chasing your dreams! Bad things happen to everyone, it's how you pick yourself up and learn from it that matters. Hop in your sassy little red mustang and L-I-V-E like every moment is precious! And if you're not the Mandy M in that red car, my advice still stands.

Related Post:

Friday, July 30, 2010

Week In Pop Culture

Here's one more reason to love Emily Blunt.

Watch what happens when a "Mad Men" star talks bath time with an interviewer.

This guy gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame - and there's not one prosthetic penis in sight!

Obligatory bikini link.

Ladies, stop coloring your hair! Look who's making grey hair cool!

There's a new "Incredible Hulk" in town.

Ellen is leaving "American Idol." And another judge might have been fired. This potential new panel still doesn't make me want to watch the show.

If you think your war against wrinkles is bad, try being a celebrity with a few age lines.

Drew Carey is half the man he used to be.

"Dancing With The Stars" isn't back for a few months, but it appears casting news is starting to leak.

I want Britney's photoshopper!

Good news: Janet Jackson is a spokesmodel. Bad news: PETA isn't happy about it.

This looks like the most uncomfortable bikini ever.

Yep. Definitely going to see this movie.

Sweet mother of God! Paris Hilton is releasing another album! I can already feel my ears bleeding.

Justin Timberlake thinks this ad will get you to drink his tequila.

Here's a little game I like to call "Musical Odd Couple."

Apparently, The Boss loves him some Rolling Stones.

I wouldn't mind daily meetings if this happened.

One of the craziest "Real Housewives" gave this kooky interview.

This makes me thing Bob Barker might miss his old gig.

Rihanna is going to be on the big screen.

I ♥ her as Betty Draper, but I have serious questions about January Jones.

Drew Barrymore is deep.

I see London. I see France. I see Jessica Biel's underpants!

I have been opposed to starring in a reality show for a while, but this changes everything. Sign me up!

Rebecca DeMornay has had some good work. Or maybe it's genetic?

Holy '80s hair! These photos of Jon Bon Jovi should have been kept under lock and key a little longer.

This bit of news makes me think I should read "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo."

Madonna might be up to no good.

I think I'm done with Oliver Stone. Apology NOT accepted.

Ron Livingston goes Keyboard Cat.

Let me get this straight: have drinking/shopping problem, sell off access to your ex-husband and get a job offer from Oprah? Now on my list of things to do: marry famous dude.

Bret Michaels is a douche bag.

What?!?! No third "Sex and the City" movie? If I had seen the second one, maybe I would care - or not.

I have never seen a family of travelers looking this happy. And she never looks exhausted. I hate her.

I could see this ruining your day - especially if you were performing a concert.

Look what musician might be getting into politics in a big way.

I don't know if it's the angle or what, but Jennifer Lopez's butt doesn't seem to be that big.

How can I make this my ringtone? Thank you, "Mad Men," for introducing me to this magic!

There's a new lady on Wisteria Lane and it's still not enough to make me watch that show again.

Parents, don't let your kids grow up to be Paris Hilton.

Could mold, not a prescription cocktail/illness, be what really killed Brittany Murphy and her husband?

OOOH! "Glee" spoilers!

Here's an actress desperately trying to get people to look at her - well, not all of her.

If you've ever wondered what celebrities look like when they hit the gym, click here.

Here's a reality TV episode I'll be sure to miss.

My favorite actor is responding to a sexual harassment suit with a counter suit.

That young actress who retired a month ago has reconsidered.

I'm not sure this sequel is necessary.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

True Love Story

Watch this and try not to tear up!

Jack and Betty's story isn't anything new. But it's one million times better than any romantic comedy because their story is about true love that never faded - even though Jack says Betty didn't age well. Also, score one for the Internet, helping these two connect after all those years!

BTW - he's 81! Is his mother still alive - or did it mean something else when he said if things didn't work out with Betty he'd go live with his mother?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

It's All Your Fault, James Cameron!

When I finally got around to seeing James Cameron's "Avatar," I was glad that it was in 3-D since everyone told me that was the ONLY way to see it.

I was actually more impressed with life in the blue world than the 3-D. I wanted to feel like poisoned darts were flying at me. Instead, the only thing I actually noticed were blades of grass. To be honest, that whole 3-D element was underwhelming. Maybe it was too much hype. Maybe I had set the bar too high, believing Cameron's previous films had reached new heights, this one would blow them out of the water. In the end, this movie was too preachy for me to love it. It was sold as a fantasy, but it was nothing more than an attack on war and the environment. Blah. If I want that, I'll watch a documentary.

This movie did inspire plenty of filmmakers (and studios who saw the piles of money showing up on Cameron's doorstep). I had hoped it would be for the better, films that would have a vision and deliver it. Instead, it appears everyone thinks put the words "3-D" in the title, charge people three times as much for a regular ticket, then sit back and count the cash.

Not so fast.

These offerings are not just an abuse of 3-D, they're an insult to movie watchers.

Those are just a few of the movies due out this year in 3-D. Those are films I'm not sure I'd want to see in the standard format, let alone with some goofy glasses!

A dance movie all up in your face? Who wants that (though some of my favorite dancers from "SYTYCD" are in it) with loud music blasting at you? OK. That makes me sound old. I might be, but I know a crap movie when I see the trailer/poster!

Horror films in 3-D? Look, I can only watch those during the daytime. I don't want to feel like I'm being hacked/chewed into pieces!

"Jackass?" REALLY? Does anyone need to see gross stunts like that?

So, I blame James Cameron. Instead of inspiring filmmakers to take technology to new heights, his film has made studios think of 3-D as the cash cow they're going to keep milking until moviegoers refuse to pay to see those films.

Here's where I take a stand: I won't see a movie in 3-D unless it appears like it would truly enhance the experience. From the looks of things, it doesn't appear I'll be wearing those glasses any time soon.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I Got The Job!

No, no. Not a real job (I have one of those, I think). I got a job at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce!

The interview was tough, but here's my new title:
I would be an EXCELLENT copywriter! Wait. Does this mean I'll have to watch ads? I guess if I had this job in 1964, I wouldn't have the luxury of a DVR so I could zip right through commercials. I also wouldn't be typing this - I mean computers were for NASA and blogs hadn't even been invented!


Well, I'll still take the job. It comes with cocktails, right?

Turn The Page

Usually when I get a magazine, I just flip past the ads. And I've really had it with these ads, both on TV and in magazines.
You know how they sell this: couple appears bored, then BAM! Fireworks, steam whistle, whatever is supposed to signify the opposite of their reality. Because they can't show S-E-X on those channels/the magazines I read.

But, this one caught my eye.
Two dudes talking about their bedroom behavior in Entertainment Weekly. Not expected. I mean, if that ad appeared in a European magazine, I wouldn't have done a double take. But in EW, it's like a parody. Really? I mean, I have no problem with the man love. Whatever makes you happy. Right in the middle of movie and TV news - an ad talking about that? I stared for a good two minutes. Put it in Marie Claire, Glamour or Cosmopolitan and I wouldn't bat an eye. The closest my little weekly entertainment rag gets to bedroom talk is who's shagging who on "True Blood."

This got me thinking... Is there another ad with two ladies? A brief search did not turn up one of those ads. But I did learn they had a contest to put actual couples in the ads. So, um score, fellas?

I miss the days when I just mindlessly turned the pages of my magazines without sex mucking it up. If I wanted those ads, I'd get different magazines. So, Entertainment Weekly, how about we just stick to the entertainment and the fictional sex stuff - leave the real issues for the magazines that have articles (or photos) to address those needs?


Friday, July 23, 2010

Week in Pop Culture

Justin Bieber has a role on CSI. Spoiler alert: he and his hair live.

If I could write just one headline about Comic Con, this would be it.

Halle Berry is starring in a movie about some girls addicted to shoes. Ugh. I already hate it.

Shakira is super bendy! You're welcome, fellas.

And if that's not enough, here's some model in a bikini.

Natalie Portman is playing a ballerina in some movie I already want to see.

Dear Snooki, when I call you an Oompa Loompa, please know that it is not out of jealousy. It's the truth.

Tis the season for celeb weddings!

Since I can't unsee this photo of Giorgio Armani, I'm sharing it with you. Sorry.

Cindy Crawford's daughter is gorgeous!

I don't know why this model shoot seems wrong.

Take this love advice from Cameron Diaz at your own risk.

Oh, Governator! I know your days in office are numbered, but this speech is not the best move.

I'm more concerned about whether Jimmy Johnson can survive without hair product than whether he'll win "Survivor."

Christina Applegate is gonna be a mom.

I ♥ "Grease!" However, I don't know about playing it as a video game.

I can't tell if this makes Dr. Dre lose his street cred or if he's just taking advantage of the cash cow.

If you can't guess who has the worst hair extensions ever, read this.

That do-gooder, George Clooney, is getting a little pat on the back at the Emmy Awards. Not sure if it's a regular award or if they just want The Clooney to show up.

CBS is ripping off "The View."

Coming soon to a mall near you...

If you're going to use the words "dirty" and "sexy" in your book title, the cover should deliver, unlike this.

Taylor Swift is releasing her new album in October.

Geena Davis is getting political.

Even though it looks like he's having fun filming this movie, I think I'd rather hear Justin Timberlake do music.

Janet Jackson is back in bikini shape.

Billy Murray might be on board with a third "Ghostbusters."

Lindsay Lohan started serving her time. She really spray tanned like a fiend before checking in. But don't cry for her, as she will be out in just a few days.

If I looked like Sofia Vergara, I'd probably spend my days like this.

Welcome to your 30s, Jessica Simpson! It's all downhill from here!

Ice-T got some new jewelry: handcuffs.

I want what Angelina Jolie is having - unless it's blood. Then, I'll pass.

That kid with the bad haircut is now the focus of a comic book.

That singer, Charice, is just a teen, but apparently not too young for Botox.

One of those "Jersey Shore" kids is "writing" a book. I can promise you, I won't read it.

Halle Berry is 43.

Tim Robbins can sing?

Were the fashion mags duped?

Look at the photo first, then see what she's selling. Speaking of Jen, this is pretty scary.

Most underwhelming news of the week: Spencer Pratt says he's a fame whore.

If you're bored by the stories of Paris Hilton potscapades, maybe this will remind you why she's "famous."

The next season of "Celebrity Rehab" seems to lack actual celebrities. Ahem, Lindsay, you could be the STAR of this cast!

Challenge: tell me this guy is not Hammsome!

I'd say it's the camera angle, but I'm pretty sure Katy Perry's breasts are really this large.

Judge Judy doesn't even work two months a year and she earns more than I ever will.

This is exactly the kind of artwork I'd expect the child of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love to create.

Get well soon, Zsa Zsa!

I don't care if the critics hate this movie, I'm seeing it.

R.I.P., James Gammon.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

You Win, Magazines!

I get a ridiculous amount of magazines delivered to my home. It's been a while since I've written about this. I have dropped a few and picked up a few new ones. My current reading material includes:

I know that list is long. I'm kind of ashamed to see it. But you should know that I'm not spending a fortune on those magazines. The subscriptions are much cheaper than if I were to buy them at the store. Here's a little hint: if you subscribe to a magazine, don't renew right away. Often, they'll send you a cheaper rate because they don't want to lose you! And if you have considered subscribing to magazines, Amazon has some great rates on subscriptionsNOTE TO COSMOPOLITAN & SPORTS ILLUSTRATED:  I dropped you long ago because I lost interest. Please stop sending me letters begging me to take you back. I won't do it.

Now, those magazines have lot of ads. I usually blow right past them. But I saw one that caught my eye in a recent US Weekly.
I normally wouldn't notice a baby product ad. But this one really spoke to me.

It's not just the language. I mean, that is one of my "safe" curse words. Then, I looked at some of the smaller print.

So, congratulations, Huggies! You have an ad that made me stop flipping pages, read it and even brought out a little giggle. I'd like to see them top that!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Magazines Are Suckas!

When I opened my mailbox and found two of the regular weeklies inside, I was a bit surprised to see them bragging in ways only magazines can brag about their "exclusives."
Here's a closer look:
The competition went with an "in your face" approach.
They also used different wording.
Now, luckily the engagement of Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston isn't exactly groundbreaking journalism. But I have to wonder if these kids played the magazines, making them think they were getting a good scoop (likely for a nice check in return) or if these magazines really thought they were the only ones getting this story? BTW - the kids conveniently did not tell People they were engaged, just that they were getting back together, which makes me think US Weekly paid them a little more.

Either way, it's one of my news peeves! I cannot stand when someone brands a story as exclusive when it is, in fact, not solely their story. If you're going to slap words like "exclusive" and "first" all over your story, you'd better be damned sure that no one else has it. Otherwise, you look like fools! Yes, I realize reading these magazines doesn't exactly make me appear to be the most hard-pressed news hound out there, but magazines are one of my guilty pleasures. Get over it.

PS - I have read the stories. You're not missing anything. But I would like to start a pool as to how long the marriage will last. I've seen "Teen Mom" on MTV. I know those relationships don't last a lifetime!

Friday, July 16, 2010

Week In Pop Culture

I'm still not sold on Katie Holmes playing Jackie O.

I am interested in this bit of casting news.

The amazing Aaron Sorkin is taking on a movie about John Edwards.

John Legend's new album with The Roots isn't out until September, but you can listen to his new song here.

Maybe Pink should rethink that whole "performance in a harness" thing.

"Beavis and Butthead" are returning to MTV. Not sure how I feel about that.

Don't extort John Stamos.

Does this make you want to stop eating meat?

Lindsay Lohan has checked into rehab.

Funniest bit at the ESPYs.

Craig Ferguson is gonna be a daddy.

Kelly Osbourne is no longer engaged.

Dustin Hoffman + Michael Mann + HBO = WIN.

I like Julianne Moore. I like baby animals. But this ad campaign doesn't make me want to buy a new bag.

Ugh. Old lady with fake face and young junkie starlet are in a Twitter feud.

Betty White is getting ANOTHER TV gig!

If I could already buy tickets to this movie, I would!

Jessica Biel wears next to nothing and spends most days of the week eating nearly nothing.

The YMCA changed it's name to "The Y." Good news: Village People won't change the song.

WHAT!?!? Reality TV relationships are FAKE? I am shocked! SHOCKED I SAY!

From plastic surgery to the weave, Lil' Kim is a hot mess. Unless she's a tranny. Then, she's trantastic!

If you like that "CSI: New York," this could be bad news.

I think this bikini link makes up for any lack of cleavage on this blog. You're welcome.

Look who finally shaved!

Carlos Santana proposed to his girlfriend during his concert. Top that, fellas!

Willie Ames has found work. On a cruise ship. Win?

This (friendly?) relationship is just creepy.

I have never been less attracted to Sylvester Stallone.

I used to think Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore just shared too much information on Twitter. Now, I think they just want attention.

I know Ryan Seacrest works a LOT, but I had no idea he made this kind of money.

Here's how Jessica Simpson celebrated her 30th birthday.

Gotta give it up to Jon Bon Jovi for going on with the show even though he was hurt.

Roman Polanski sets the official standard for pedophiles: get out of the US for a few decades and you'll never have to return to serve time.

Confused. Heather Graham rocked it as a stripper in "The Hangover." So what happened here? Wait. This is more like it.

Wow. The folks at Marvel have no eye for talent. And they're jerks.

The headline on this Enrique Iglesias story says it all.

If you were hoping for a reunion of "The Police," Sting says don't hold your breath.

A whole bunch of celebrities got married this weekend:

Finally... R.I.P., George Steinbrenner.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Drunk Babies?!? Oh. It's An Ad.

I doubt this ad campaign, promoting L'universe de Chocolat's line of whisky-filled treats, actually got the little tykes liquored-up to sell chocolate. It's more likely the babies were sleepy. Or had colds. Or were annoyed at the adults trying to cram stinky chocolates at them (Note: while I am not a parent, I know that babies don't tend to like whisky). 

While j'adore European ads (they're usually pretty/sexy/funny), this just doesn't make me want those chocolates - and I think typing that just made my brain hurt. Hard to believe, even though it combines two things high on my list of favorites (babies and chocolate). Oh, and speaking of, if you like to see your sweets with an older bunch, check out this blog.

[If you want to see more of the ads, click here.]

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Why I Love Twitter

I am a "blogger." Look, you're reading this, so you should know that about me. I may not be the most interesting or consistent blogger, but I do it. It makes me happy. Even when I'm ranting about something that has made me angry/unhappy/sad, I feel better once I write it. I actually don't mind you lurkers who read these posts and don't comment. I know you're there! Don't think you're hiding from me!

 I also love Twitter.
I can quickly type what I'm feeling, seeing or questioning anywhere at anytime (thank you, smart phone). I just have to do it in 140 characters or less. That is not always easy. It's also why I post here.

I have heard plenty from people who hate on Twitter. They don't understand it (it's actually quite simple). They think it's a waste of time (it is and it isn't). But it's also very useful. If you're looking for any kind of help, just post a question and it usually doesn't take long before someone's offering advice. I usually get a few helpful hints. When I get non-helpful hints, I sometimes respond with some snark and then block that person so I don't have to deal with his/her nonsense again.

I also get news from Twitter. I follow a few people/organizations who are in the news and they keep me up to speed on things. Side note: if you're a news maker and all you do is promote your stories/shows, I unfollow. I follow mostly people I know (either personally, through friends or through TV). I also don't follow more than 100 people. Any more and it's just too much to keep up with. And if you don't tweet for a month, I'll stop following you. Those are my rules.

I love seeing and sharing photos of the random parts of life. I sometimes share them here, too. The benefit of Twitter is that instant sense of community. People see it and respond. You don't always get that in this format (still talking to you, lurkers). 

Now, there are a few negatives about Twitter.

-Foursquare. I don't get this. Maybe it's because I don't go to a lot of places. Maybe it's because I just don't think it's safe to let people track your every move. And then there's the whole "Mayor" bit. If you're the mayor of anything and you weren't elected, announcing it - even in a place like Twitter - just makes you sound a bit crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love me some crazy. I just don't want it filling up my Twitter stream.

-Ads. I know advertising is necessary. I don't mind it most of the time. But if you're constantly advertising, I lose interest. If you were thinking of following me on Twitter, know that I won't follow you if that's all you do.

-Fail Whale. This is what you see when Twitter is having a bad moment.
As smart as the people at Twitter are, you'd think they'd have servers or something tech thingy that could keep that whale from appearing. Big event in the world? Twitter will crash. Ever be around about of Tweeps when this happens? It is the closest to a mass nervous breakdown you'll ever see. I imagine it's a lot like lemmings trying to decide if they should just run off the cliff and it all there. 

Is it perfect? No. But I enjoy it. I don't even mind defending it - unless that whale pops up. Then, I feel the need to find my Internet harpoon and slay the whale (stay out of my way, Greenpeace)!

Monday, July 12, 2010

I'm Quitting Mel Gibson

I loved this guy in "Lethal Weapon." The mullet was fantastic. He was funny - even when he would dislocate his shoulder for kicks.

But that has worn off.

You see, I've had it with his tirades - whether they're fueled by booze or not. This incident in 2006 was the beginning of the end for me. I giggled when he used the phrase "sugar tits" (compliment or sexist insult?) when talking to a female officer. Then, I realized he is someone who clearly has no respect for authority. When he became a poster child for anti-Semitism, I thought that was the lowest of the lows.

Don't forget, it's been nearly 20 years since he slammed gays.

Then, he walked away from his 28-year marriage to be with another woman.

I wasn't surprised when this woman was pregnant. Why else would he end his marriage to be with another woman? But now that this relationship is having a very nasty (and public) ending, I am washing my hands of Mel. Any man who could say these things to a woman he loved - or at least liked enough to have sex with - is beyond foul.

Disagree? Listen to this.

Anyone who uses language like that is simply full of hate. And racist. And a homophobe. And still sexist.

I give him credit for being such a great actor that he can pretend to be a human being who cares and has genuine feelings for women and African Americans and Jews and gays (despite this attempt to make us feel like he was in touch with his feminine side). But it's his unscripted words that hurt more than any movie villain could hope that is creepier than any creature of fiction. There is no excuse for being that vile. That is pure hatred that comes from within. Spending one penny on his movies just puts more cash in his wallet, encouraging his disgusting behavior.

So, congratulations, Mel. You win. I'm no longer a fan. No apology will ever undo all the horrible things you've said. I had no idea you would lobby so hard to alienate people. Your talent for hitting people where it hurts would come in handy in prison. Or hell. I hope you spend some time in both. And if they ever make a movie about your downfall, I won't see it.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Three More Weeks!!!


I have told anyone who will listen (or at least pretend to) just how wonderful this show is. Season four doesn't return until July 25th and I am counting down until it returns. And I did this:

But, then Julie said my character looked like Rosie O'Donnell. So, I went back to the drawing (or silly computer clip art thingy).

Here's what I came up with:
If you want to Mad Men yourself, click here.

Friday, July 9, 2010

World Cup Made Funny

This makes me giggle.

Week in Pop Culture

I don't know what to say about this.

50 Cent & Diddy are engaged in a feud.

I guess reality TV "stars" can't buy a good hair day.

If hitting your wife is a new Hollywood trend, I am shocked that this guy would get in on it.

OMG! Beyonce was almost killed!

Looks like Larry King won't need to write that divorce settlement check after all.

Alec Baldwin says he's quitting acting in 2012. That could be the year I quit "30 Rock." :(

Apparently, you people did not support your American Idols.

I'm adding this to my holiday wish list:

Already looking for booze to drink and special PJs to watch the Emmy Awards! See the nominees here.

Just for fun, check out these celebrity yearbook photos.

Jeremy London is such a good actor, he junkied his way out of a kidnapping!

Jessica Simpson's new boyfriend is still a married man.

Don Johnson just earned a fat payday from that old "Nash Bridges" show.

Remember that song "Down Under" by Men at Work? Turns out, it was not entirely original.

If your man likes to blow up stuff and shout, "Yippee Kay-Yay, MFers," this is the cologne for him.

Holy photoshopping, Cosmo!

But this work is well done!

Cameron Diaz loves her wrinkles. No word on whether she loves her man hands, too.

Another "Bachelorette" couple bites the dust. Can they just stop doing this show already? It's such a scam!

Bad news: no Bond.

Here's a random gay coupling.

I always wonder when actors get sentenced to jail time if they cry because they're scared or because they're so angry their lawyers couldn't keep them from serving time? Side note: get a good look at her manicure.

I really hope this does not catch on.

You should ease up on the fake tanning when you reach this color.

While this story questions whether the height of one of the sisters was altered, I question whether everything else was altered.

Attention Internet: Prince has decided you're over. I decided Prince was over when he changed his name to a symbol you could not pronounce.

Remember that old Mel Gibson who made buddy movies? That guy is LONG gone. Allegedly. Oh, and he's still racist. And he might face criminal charges.

Instead of making great pop songs, this is what George Michael does.

If you want to look like one of those "Jersey Shore" whores kids, your dream has come true!

I think some adults might be taking the "Twilight" thing too far. (Warning: adult content - not images)

Hard to believe this reality TV couple didn't make it.

I usually laugh when people (including myself) fall down. This did not make me giggle. I cringed.

Famous folk can't even shop for underwear in private!

I don't know why celebrity demands never seem surprising to me. If you have a little bit of power and ask someone to do something and they do it, why not ask for the world and dare them to say "no?"

This might be proof that "Glee" will take on anyone who likes to sing or dance - regardless of whether they do it well.

Look who might be playing Ozzy Osbourne on the big screen.

Melissa Etheridge's divorce is getting nasty.

Dave Chappelle broke nearly all the flight rules.

James Cameron is taking 3-D to new lows.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I Want My Sleepy Time Back!

I need darkness to sleep. For as long as I can remember, I have blocked any sign of light. I guess I'm like a vampire when I sleep. No light.

But recently, my home phone has become a big pain.
It may not look offensive, but that blue light on the upper right hand might as well be a fog lamp from a light house. It blinks.


Then, it pauses for three seconds and does it all over again.

Notice how the phone says I have a new voice mail. That phone is a liar. I have cleared every message - old and new. There is NO message.

I have unplugged the phone in my room to stop the flashing. Then, when I plug it in, the battery is dead (which is OK since I have another phone in the living room). That has created another issue: flashing red light saying the phone is charging. I haven't unplugged the phone for a week and it's still "charging." Now, it's like I have a police car parked in my bedroom. I keep waiting to hear one of SAPD's finest threatening to shoot me. No offense to SAPD, but if you Google "SAPD officer involved shooting" you get more than 6,000 results. People here have not learned that when the cops tell you to stop or they'll shoot, they mean it.

Once I fall asleep, I don't really notice the lights. But if I start stirring (or the cat pounces on me or the dog decides he wants to go outside) in the middle of the night, it's hard to pretend like the phone's not taunting me. I can almost hear it saying, "Ha ha! You're not going back to sleep any time soon!" Yes, my phone is a bit of a jerk and I have told it as much, perhaps in stronger language.

I have put colored tape over the blue light on the phone in my bedroom. That barely blocks the light. I have replaced the battery in each phone and they continue to blink. I have searched online for the manual for the phone (which I threw out a long time ago), but no luck.

Now, I'm thinking my only hope may be to just buy a new phone. One that doesn't lie. One that knows flashing lights are annoying. One that speaks my language: dark and quiet at night.

Or else.

UPDATE: Apparently, I just had to write about it to make it all better! About an hour after this posted, I noticed the blinking light and voicemail message disappeared!

Monday, July 5, 2010

Oh, The Ridiculousness!

The Pink Movie

I generally do not like chick flicks. I find them predictable and so silly that I think they set a bad example for women. Go ahead. Call me a feminist. I like to think I'm just picky. But, what happens in Hollywood that makes film people crank out a pink-tinted movie for each generation?
Before you get all judgy, I L-O-V-E "Grease!" I will watch it every time I see it on TV. But those Pink Ladies - they weren't stupid. They were tough. They didn't take crap from anyone. And while they had their T-Birds, they didn't seem to cling to them. Oh, how I wanted a pink satin jacket! I might still want one. Nothing wrong with these ladies (even the mean part of them - Sandy needed to toughen up! She would have never made it in the "real" world!). 

And in my youth, there was one actress who was all about the pink:
Molly Ringwald did many things for young girls. She made it OK for redheads to wear pink. She was the perfect outsider, trying to get by in world where everyone with money seemed perfect, eventually learning that her life was pretty good. I can't imagine my youth without John Hughes and Ms. Molly. The movies were silly, but I never felt like they were dumbed down. There was no damsel in distress. She did always get the guy she wanted. But I never got the feeling that life would not be OK if she didn't.

Along came the '90s. Dumb girls in pink became the rage.
I have nothing against "Clueless." It's cute and sassy. Side note: I thought every one of those girls might have a movie career. I guess they did, too. But Cher's love of fashion and the color pink were funny in a "Oh, isn't she adorable?" way. Would I want Cher to come to my house and organize my closet? Yes. Would I want Cher to go shopping with me (as long as she had Daddy's credit card)? Yes. Would I call Cher my friend? No.

Last decade, there was one movie that I liked - despite the pink.
Every single one of them is in pink. And at some point in the movie, I hated each one of them. Not because of the color, but because of their behavior. I guess since I haven't been in high school this decade, I wanted to yell at those girls, "None of that matters!" But, I realize that's what the movie was really about. I doubt teenage girls took that from the film. I saw it mainly because of Tina Fey. If she hadn't written that movie, there's a very good chance I would have skipped it.

Oh, one more pink explosion in the 2000s.
Reese Withserspoon is adorable. Love her. But she is so much better than this! I have loved her in serious movies ("Man in the Moon" - if you haven't seen it, do it now). But silly movies like this just seem so commercial, like she figured she could get a decent payday. I want more "Walk The Line" and less chick flick, please.

And, now, here comes another one.
That's Ashley Tisdale. I know she's the girl from "High School Musical." I don't know much about this movie she's shooting, but I can only assume it's about some spoiled girl who has bad things happen to her. Also, I predict lots of sad faces - and I'm not just talking about the moviegoers. 

If Hollywood was a little more responsible for the films it turns out, I might get on board with these movies targeting ladies. But because they keep cranking out mediocre crap (and people keep seeing those movies), it seems to be good enough. I'm not saying you should avoid all of these movies. I'm just saying if you stop and think about what you're paying to see before you decide to waste a few hours in the theater seeing a movie with a predictable start, middle and end, we'll get better choices. 

And maybe, the actresses will branch out and wear a color other than pink.