Thursday, July 1, 2010

What The Wonder Woman?

I think many young girls wanted to be Wonder Woman. While many of us may have had to live that dream during playtime or during actual dreams in Wonder Woman underroos (which, to my surprise, are not only still available, but can be found in adult sizes!), she was still a good example.

She had it all! She was pretty. She was smart. She was strong. She had the coolest tools (invisible plane, truth lasso, magic bracelets - she could accessorize). And, when she spun around...

Gold!

Even as I look at that clip, I think she'd be such a good role model today. Those granny panties hid her lady bits on bottom, while that golden top held just enough of her boobs to make the boys watch. You would never see that exact costume on Halloween. Instead, the Wonder Woman of this century has been whored out.

Before:

After:

And then, came this:
Who is that woman? Yes, she's more covered up than the Wonder Woman I love. Those legs are covered up by leggings. Her strong shoulders are now wrapped in a leather jacket. Her magic bracelets have been replaced by some sort of bum gloves. And those awesome red boots are replaced by, I don't know, some sort of hip looking orthopedic shoes. And while her cleavage might be larger, you wouldn't notice it if not for the large swollen area on her her chest. There's nothing real about this new version of my beloved super hero. She looks like Barbie with a bad wig in the most ridiculous workout gear ever!

I bet this Wonder Woman is more cougar - interested in tying up young boys not for the truth but for something much naughtier. She probably couldn't be bothered to fly her own invisible plane. She's probably too Botoxed to show emotion.

This impostor is no super hero! She's a super skank! I want my old Wonder Woman back! And I might just want those underroos, too...
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