Monday, January 2, 2012

January Movies

The new year brings new movies - though some aren't exactly award-worthy. That's not my sole criteria for choosing a movie (I do appreciate a silly film every now and then). So, here are my thoughts on the movies out this month. As usual, I'll start with what I want to see.

The Iron Lady

I will basically see any Meryl Streep movie (even that It's Complicated movie, which - spoiler alert - was not really complicated). But Meryl Streep portraying an actual person is ALWAYS a win. I don't even care if it's historically accurate. I will see it and love it. And I will root for Meryl to win another Oscar. You heard it here first.

Haywire

I normally wouldn't be interested in these kind of spy movies. I mean, how can the CIA allow these movies to keep happening? Every one of these movies makes the agency look like the worst employer ever - constantly turning on its people, forcing them to go on the run and defend themselves. Who wants to work for those people? But this movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh, so I'll check it out.

Coriolanus

Once I get past the fact that this has the word "anus" in the title, I see that it has the potential to have hunky dudes without shirts. Sign me up!

The Grey

I won't rush the theater for this, but I will watch it at home and be even more afraid of something bad happening to me and seeing my cat eat me (the dog would NEVER do that).

Albert Nobbs

Glenn Close as a man? Why not?

What I'll Skip:
  • The Devil Inside - I am seriously afraid to watch these exorcism movies. It's not that they're gross or unbelievable. It's that I'm afraid the real spirits that possess people are looking for new bodies to rent and that they find those people when they watch these movies. So, no.
  • Beneath The Darkness - Oh, Dennis Quaid! I liked it better when you were doing movies that weren't headed straight for DVD release!
  • Contraband - This is yet another Mark Whalberg movie where he plays the guy who used to be bad, is now good and is forced to do one more bad thing to make things right. Blah.
  • Joyful Noise - I have a few things to point out about this movie: 1) This will be noisy, but not quite joyful at all times; 2) There's no way this becomes a blockbuster hit; 3) It will probably have a sequel; 4) This movie should be rated DDDD for all that boobage happening in this film.
  • The Divide - No.
  • Loosies - If I'm not mistaken, this is actually an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
  • Underworld: Awakening - I am happy Charlize Theron has found non-modeling work again, but I absolutely will not see this.
  • One For The Money - I wouldn't see this even if Katherine Heigl wasn't the lead.
  • Man on a Ledge - This sounds like something you'd see on the new Hawaii 5-O.
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