Dogs will never remember how long it's been since they've seen you. They will react like it's been days since you walked into their space.
A dog's nose is not like ours. We like a dog to smell clean. He wants to roll in something stinky (roadkill, poop) to smell better.
Dogs will never throw up on a surface that's easy to clean. They will stand on that surface and puke on carpet.
Dogs think we don't understand that they want to answer the door. They will bark, cry and suddenly become super strong so they can get past your leg as you open the door a half inch to tell a salesperson you're not interested.
Dogs will not want to go outside when you're walking around the house. They will wait until you sit down before deciding to get your attention in their own special way (mine either stares at me or puts his nose on the door - pictured below). Dogs will wait for you to sit down and get comfortable before they must come back inside. They don't understand how much you hate that game.
Dogs are cute. They're not cats.