Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Seriously Mistaken Identity

get messages from people who mistake me with others regularly. 

About two weeks ago, I had this exchange on twitter with a guy who clearly thought I was someone else. 


I thought one of three things might happen:
1. He'd get to the wedding, be all, "Nbut my name IS on the list! I have the tweets to prove it!" They'd let him and his buddy in because no one wants a scene at a wedding. 
2. He'd say the same thing, the Nicole he was supposed to contact would point out he's a dumbass and he'd be turned away. 
*3. He would get in his car and drive to Texas and murder me. My exchange was risky, but I can't help but respond to people like that in these cases. 
Thankfully (for both of us), everything worked out. 
Now, here's where I used a bit of restraint. I did not ask about the ding ding show even though I
REALLY want to know what that was. Like, does it include pastries or penises? And if it's dessert, is that on Pinterest? Because I might need to pin that. 

Since I'm still alive (for now), I didn't see the harm in replying to this random text the other day. 
Instead of a text back, my phone rang. 

I paused briefly, then figured I might as well answer because I've been really bored. 
Me: Hello?
Random Guy: You good, ma?
Me: Um, yeah. I think you might have the wrong number. 
RG: Oh. That's too bad. 
Me: Uh, okay. Bye.
I have blurred the number here because I don't want to get either of us in trouble. Oh, there's no issue with a wrong number. It's the fact that the number is for an escort. I hadn't looked it up because there wasn't any other contact after that. A friend did the Googling. It's actually a number where people can review their escorts - like Yelp for hookers. 

I have to let my curiosity with that one end there. It's most definitely for my own good. 

So that's how I've spent the last week. 

NOTE: If I disappear or get murdered, will one of you please tell the police about these guys? They might be a good place to start.

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