I like the promise of a new year. Every year I have lived in my house, I hate how my neighbors ring in the new year a little more.
I wouldn't mind if they took their celebration outside for 15-20 minutes. But this is what goes on for two hours.
BANG! BOOM! FIZZLE! It's like these people bought out a fireworks stand! And look at this:
Does that look like a dog who is having a good time? No. When he's not hiding under my bed, he's begging me to find out why we're under attack and to give them whatever they want to make it stop.
If it's that annoying to us, I can't imagine what it's like to parents of small children trying to sleep.
If you're one of the people who enjoys putting on the two-hour display of slow explosions, please think of us and others in your neighborhood on these fireworks holidays. If you don't, we might have to call the police and report a crime more serious than your explosives (because we all know those fireworks hotlines are worthless). Or we'll get up really early to make noise outside your house. Or you might catch me letting my dog poop in your yard without me picking it up. I don't know what I might do next time. I know I've got until July to figure out my plan. Jerks.