Sunday, January 13, 2013

Awards Show Season Fun!

I love this time of year! It's not just the promise of cooler weather (not always a guarantee in South Texas). It's the REAL awards shows that make me happy! Sure, there are awards shows that happen at other times of the year, but I don't think most of them count. I don't think the celebrities think they count, either. Did you notice no one mentioned the MTV awards in Whitney Houston or Michael Jackson's obituaries? See. Doesn't count.

I'm especially excited about tonight's Golden Globes! Not only do we get a chance of a drunken celebrity acceptance speech (that ain't water they're sipping at those tables), but I finally got the awards show hosts I've asked for: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler!
PS - I've requested their hosting skills here. Not only are these ladies funny and spontaneous, they also have a little bit of awards show spirit. They've created a drinking game for tonight's show! Here are their rules if you're unable to click that link:

THR: OK, so can you come up with a couple of rules for a Globes drinking game?
Fey: Any time an actress cries in a speech, drink. Any time you see a person actively not listening to someone onstage, drink.
Poehler: Any time someone says, “I didn’t prepare anything!”
Fey: Any time anyone thanks Harvey Weinstein, eat a meatball sub.
THR: How about any time they show Judi Dench?
Fey: Yeah. You take off an article of clothing.
Poehler: Any time Maggie Smith wins.

I like those, but I also have my own. If you're too lazy to click the link (BTW, even I am not that lazy), here are my additions:
  • Drink when a winner thanks his/her mom.
  • When the accountants take the stage, drink when they start talking and don't stop until the music plays them out. Note: If you're new to drinking, skip this rule. It could kill you.
  • Drink when the hosts get the giggles.
  • Drink when the hosts or presenters sing.
  • If a host, presenter or winner curses, read their lips, shout the curse word, then drink.
  • Drink if you see a wardrobe malfunction (and this does not include a gorgeous celebrity in a bad dress - think nipple).
I have one more request: please don't play this or any other drinking game if you have to drive somewhere tonight. I am pretty sure the police will still take you to jail if you're drunk and you cite this game as the reason. Also, I'm not in the bail bonding business, so I can't help you.
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