Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Just Like Me?

I was flipping through one of my favorite weekly non-newsy magazines that gives me celebrity gossip that appears mostly true (US Weekly) when I came across a regular feature: Stars - They're Just Like US!
OMG, YOU GUYS! I WALK MY DOG! However, I have NEVER carried a yoga mat. One more way Reese Witherspoon is better than me.
I PUT ON MY SHOES!!!

I BUY CANNED GOODS!!!
I LOVE BEING PAMPERED!!!

But wait. It's not just famous adults who are just like us. Take a look at their mini-mes.
I mean, who doesn't do those things (while looking significantly less adorable than those four stylish kids)? SIDE NOTE: Not that I am in the business of kidnapping kids, but I could wear that Seraphina Affleck like a necklace. FBI, seriously, if you're reading this, I am NOT a kidnapper. Shouldn't you be investigating actual threats instead of reading my not-at-all legitimate statements? Losers.

Maybe celebrities aren't like us. Maybe WE'RE like them. Because how would we know how much we all have in common if paparazzi weren't there to take these intrusive pictures and sell them so we could see them?

That gives me an idea. From here on out, NO ONE is allowed to take my picture without paying me first.

PS - NO ONE is allowed to take that last statement and make any kind of alteration to it to make me sound like a prostitute. Because I'm not.
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