So Much Fun!

I'm declaring this the year of the lady book! Just five months after reading Tina Fey's book (which taught me a few things and I still recommend if you haven't picked it up), I have finished Mindy Kaling's equally funny book.

Before I get into it, I want to be clear about something: I adore Mindy in a way that I want to sit next to her on the sofa while watching bad television and shopping online and eating cheese and drinking wine. I have previously noted how brilliant she is on Twitter. Don't go calling the police. I don't want to kidnap Mindy. I just want to keep peeking into her pretty, pink, shiny world. So, please understand my dilemma here. I want to gush about how much I loved this book without sounding like a creepy stalker or crazy person.

Now that I have this book, I can always reflect on how similar we actually are. For starters, she shared some photos of young Mindy - like this one on the back of the book.

Like Mindy, I am not afraid to share my young me pictures. Here's one:

Since I can't just post that without the back story, I'll tell you the short version. This was my curly hair before the awesome arsenal of products available now. My mom fixed my hair, then sent me to preschool for pictures. She told me something like, "Everything will be fine if they don't brush your hair." Of all the things my mom has told me, that has stuck with me - probably the best advice my mom has ever given me. Picture little me standing in line waiting for my picture. Then comes the teacher with a hair brush. Before I can say anything, she has put the brush to my hair (this was also in a time when parents didn't freak out about one hair brush being used on dozens of kids). I freak out. I scream. I cry. Then, I'm slid onto the little stool for my picture. You can't tell here, but in the original, you can actually see tears in my eyes. Can you also tell this was before Photoshop? I imagine school pictures now wipe away crazy hair and pimples (you kids these days are SO lucky!).

Back to Mindy.

She shares tails of failing. At work. At fashion. At skinniness. But none of it stops her. ARE YOU KIDS LISTENING? If you think success comes from a reality show, you are bound to fail and wind up one one of those "Whatever happened to..." reality shows before a stop at Dr. Drew's rehab spa. I know failure. My recovery time is apparently longer than Mindy's. That's why I'm here - blogging about nonsensical things - and not finishing that book I started writing.

Other highlights:

• I seriously hope she's writing a screenplay called Crest Whitestrips. I would totally watch while wearing them. Plus, you'd get a happy ending - WHITE TEETH! Come on! What other movie could give you that?
• I agree with Mindy on the one night stand thing. TRUE STORY: A super annoying intern started a blog and went into great detail about a one night stand. Maybe it was her bad writing or maybe it was because I knew her, but the second I read the words "I met this great guy," I knew it wouldn't end well. Then, I (anonymously) replied that if she was going to write about such things, she should make her blog anonymous. It was sad. It as predictable. And, unless she found some way to wipe that post from the internets forever, it might turn up in a really good search by a prospective employer. Won't catch me doing that - blogging about a one night stand because I don't do that. 
• You karaoke lovers need to take note of Mindy's chapter on this. Why? Because NO ONE wants to hear you tackle a seven minute song (with a four minute music piece in the middle - unless you're going to do a well-choreographed dance there). If karaoke clubs really cared, they'd edit those out to spare us from that moment.

I have one question for Mindy: What happened to Mavis? I hope these two have been reunited and that it does feel good to have a childhood friend back in the rotation. I had a few girls I was good friends with as a kid but haven't regained contact with - not even on Facebook. It's like they're gone. Or probably married with a new name that I don't know. I'M STILL ME! FIND ME, GIRLS!

I have just one complaint about this book. It uses a word I just don't like. The C word. Not that one. Crotch. It's just an awful sounding word. It sounds harsh. It's in this weird word mystery space - not medical, not sexy. Just ick. 

One last thing. Even if you run out and buy this book (and I hope that you will), my copy is better than yours.

Yep. Autographed. I wish I could say that was from an in-person event where I said nothing but great things to Mindy, but it's not. I bought the book straight from her publisher and got that signed sticker to insert in my copy. I'm not complaining about that. Not even complaining that I paid full price for this book (no discount by the big bookstore, no coupon, no free shipping). Because this was worth it.

Mindy has scored a spot next to Tina Fey on my book shelf.

Ten Things

In case you can't tell, I love funny. Note: That's FUNNY with an "F," not to be confused with PUNNY with a "P." So, this time, I thought I'd single out a lady who makes me laugh on TV and on Twitter.

Here are ten things I learned from/about Mindy Kaling on Twitter.

I thought the same thing while watching the Screen Actors Guild Awards. When I saw that ad with the little pig going "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I thought, "Interesting. This awards show is on cable and their recognizing commercials? When does Real Housewives of Atlanta start?" Just glad I wasn't all dressed up and forced to sit through that.

She loves basketball! Now, I live in what feels like Basketballville, USA, (only when the Spurs are winning). But, I don't love the sport. In fact, I only watch it when I have to (I have this whole no sports unless there are good commercials thing). I have decided to root for the Denver Nuggets because of their fantastically tattooed team, but I have to admit that besides Googling images of players, I have yet to watch a single minute of them play. I'll let Mindy root on the players for me and girls everywhere. Oh, and ESPN, if you're looking for a girl to get people to watch your network, bring her on board. Girl is good!

Love this idea so much, if I ever get married, I will find a theme song - likely one that would cover up my stumbling as I am perhaps one of the clumsiest people in the world. Maybe, in a tribute to Mindy, I'd choose the theme from The Office or Mad Men - unless it would cost too much. Then, I'll hum two seconds of it at a time.

For. REAL. I have seen Martha Stewart make this look easy. It has only made me call her not-so-nice names while I break into a sweat to compel the sheets to fold up nice and respectable-like. Good thing they just wind up in my closet, not to be seen by anyone except the cat.

Not racist. As far as I know, they ARE the same person.

I am fairly certain that if Natalie Portman showed up to collect her Oscar like this

AND quacked, there is no way the show would play her off with music. Also, if she laid an egg on the stage, I'd give her a lifetime achievement award (my own, I don't think the snooty Academy would appreciate that nearly as much as I would).

She is really good with the whole hashtag thing. Oh, yeah. She's a WRITER.

And this is why I'm refusing (for now) to buy pajama jeans.

Seriously. A good talker is almost always better than a good walker. I do like a good strut, but if all you can say is, "Uh. Um. So..." I'm over it.

YES! Also disturbing: my hair after such a stunt. I'd do it and take pictures, but I have things to do, people!

Related Posts:

• Ten Things About Russell Brand
• Ten Things About Joan Rivers
• Ten Things About MC Hammer