Ten Things About Donald Glover

I did my first "Ten Things" of the year using Storify. 

Ten Things About Marlee Matlin

You know, there are a lot of REALLY negative people on the Internet. A LOT. Finding a little bit of positive helps restore my faith in humanity. I stumbled across actress Marlee Matlin's Twitter feed and decided she is all the warm fuzziness I need.

She has a smile that says, "Nothing is going to drag me down!" Plus, I still remember how well she performed on Dancing With The Stars (while not being able to fully hear the music she was stepping to).

I hope these ten tweets from Ms. Matlin give you the same glimmer of positive hope they've given me. And, in case you don't look at the fine print, these are all really recent.

Here goes:

If this doesn't make you smile, well, I don't know what will. I hate that so many families have been broken up by war. So many kids have grown up without parents. So many of them have lost parents. Just knowing that these families will be together soon makes me happy!

This is something I really don't get about online trolls. What is the point of following someone or a group you don't like if it makes you write nasty and mean things to them? Is it really worth the rise in your blood pressure to say something hurtful? I really wish people would stop and think what their mothers or their bosses would think if they knew they were writing these things. Also, if you wouldn't say it to some one's face, you shouldn't write it. I sometimes find myself writing mean replies to jerks, but I delete it, then block the sender (when possible). You don't have to like me and you don't have to follow me. So, don't.

This reminds me of those church people who shall remain nameless so as not to draw a whole lot of attention to them. You know the ones - they protest soldier funerals. They have signs with hateful words on them (yes, I know that's protected by the First Amendment - doesn't make it right). Here's the thing: I refuse to believe that God is proud of that. I love people who are different. Different shakes you out of a rut. Different makes you think. Different makes you appreciate. Embrace that, people!

If politicians want to know how to lose my vote, it's by allowing people to cheer sick people without insurance and boo a gay soldier. If you're President, you speak for those people. And, BTW, those people VOTE! If you can't do that before Election Day, don't count on my support. Shameful.

Dudes, don't. Ever.

Because so many of those things are connected. And because the poor cannot afford to donate thousands of dollars to get a candidate/elected official's attention. They deserve to be heard and helped.

What's better than knowing a celebrity eats cake? The recipe for said cake! Now, will one of you make that for me?

This reminds me of one birthday my brother and I had together. We had one cake. Little known fact about me: I like cake. I kind of like to share it. But it's better - when you have more than one celebrant - to have more than one cake. ALWAYS. Because slices of different cakes are always a good time!

Food on a stick! How can that NOT make you happy? I'm kind of glad I can't smell this picture (not that I tried) because it would make me hungry. Also, I need sticks to skewer meat and veggies for my own grill. Why haven't I done this?

This is a great way to end this. News is tough. I see more of it than you non-news people. It is sad. It is tragic. No matter what I see each day, I try to find something that makes me happy so I can take that deep breath and call it a day.

Thank you, Ms. Matlin, for making me smile!

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Ten Things (Featuring Little Piggies)

What's not to love about Danny DeVito? I guess if you're foot-phobic, you probably should not follow him on Twitter. You should also stop reading now. Friends, I present the Little Piggies of Mr. DeVito.

These little piggies went to the beach.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies went to Philadelphia.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies took a ride.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies went to Universal Studios.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies went where few piggies should ever go.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies went to work reading a script.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies went to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies enjoyed lavender.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies found a cozy spot to rest.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

These little piggies like to skateboard.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

And a bonus ... these little piggies did not make me hungry.

Danny Devito on WhoSay

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Ten Things

You've probably seen Judd Apatow's movies. You may have seen him on late night talk shows. But if you're not following him on Twitter, you're missing out.

These days, he really wants you to see Bridesmaids (I have and it is funny and not the least bit chick-flicky). I could give him the same Ten Things treatment as I have with others, but I decided to show you the ten faces of Judd.

This one seems to say, "I will read this book and it will make me smile - but I won't show you that."

I don't know their exact location, but they are either very excited to be there or have just spilled something hot on their pants.

I think this is pretty much the look everyone gives Detroit. Even Eminem.

SOOO glad Judd said he was enjoying the show because his face says otherwise.

I almost didn't see Judd in this photo because the cupcakes are calling me. Is that a red velvet? MINE! Back the f*#k off, Judd. I will seriously get stabby if you or your beard gets within an inch of it.

Oh, here's a nice picture. Posed and professional-like, but nice.

What is going on here? Going solo is not a bad thing. The movie isn't even close to bad. So why the face?

Now, this face, I get. And you know how they say people look like their pets? Totally true here. I don't know who's ragier about the pink fur - Judd or the dog. Probably the dog because other animals are laughing at it.

If the eyes are truly the window to the soul, these eyes are saying, "Never EVER get into the movie business. It will make you tired. It will make you sad. It will make you neglect your eyebrows."

I completely look past the seemingly unhappy face to celebrate the fact that the camera is not pointed the other direction. It's not that I don't want to see Judd's party pants, it's that I don't want to see him pre-party pants. Ever.

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Ten Things

In case you can't tell, I love funny. Note: That's FUNNY with an "F," not to be confused with PUNNY with a "P." So, this time, I thought I'd single out a lady who makes me laugh on TV and on Twitter.

Here are ten things I learned from/about Mindy Kaling on Twitter.

I thought the same thing while watching the Screen Actors Guild Awards. When I saw that ad with the little pig going "WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I thought, "Interesting. This awards show is on cable and their recognizing commercials? When does Real Housewives of Atlanta start?" Just glad I wasn't all dressed up and forced to sit through that.

She loves basketball! Now, I live in what feels like Basketballville, USA, (only when the Spurs are winning). But, I don't love the sport. In fact, I only watch it when I have to (I have this whole no sports unless there are good commercials thing). I have decided to root for the Denver Nuggets because of their fantastically tattooed team, but I have to admit that besides Googling images of players, I have yet to watch a single minute of them play. I'll let Mindy root on the players for me and girls everywhere. Oh, and ESPN, if you're looking for a girl to get people to watch your network, bring her on board. Girl is good!

Love this idea so much, if I ever get married, I will find a theme song - likely one that would cover up my stumbling as I am perhaps one of the clumsiest people in the world. Maybe, in a tribute to Mindy, I'd choose the theme from The Office or Mad Men - unless it would cost too much. Then, I'll hum two seconds of it at a time.

For. REAL. I have seen Martha Stewart make this look easy. It has only made me call her not-so-nice names while I break into a sweat to compel the sheets to fold up nice and respectable-like. Good thing they just wind up in my closet, not to be seen by anyone except the cat.

Not racist. As far as I know, they ARE the same person.

I am fairly certain that if Natalie Portman showed up to collect her Oscar like this

AND quacked, there is no way the show would play her off with music. Also, if she laid an egg on the stage, I'd give her a lifetime achievement award (my own, I don't think the snooty Academy would appreciate that nearly as much as I would).

She is really good with the whole hashtag thing. Oh, yeah. She's a WRITER.

And this is why I'm refusing (for now) to buy pajama jeans.

Seriously. A good talker is almost always better than a good walker. I do like a good strut, but if all you can say is, "Uh. Um. So..." I'm over it.

YES! Also disturbing: my hair after such a stunt. I'd do it and take pictures, but I have things to do, people!

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Ten Things

No matter how many movies or TV interviews I see, I always find myself giggling at Russell Brand.

Maybe it's because I find his drunken, drugged-up, man whoring ways a bit silly. Seriously, that seems to be his thing.

But a look at his Twitter feed reveals he's not really that guy. Here are ten things I learned from/about Russell, AKA rustyrockets.

Clearly, he likes movies. Or, like yours truly, has dreams/Tweets that are easily influenced by whatever he's just seen. TRUE STORY: I saw The Fighter, Black Swan, True Grit and The King's Speech in a two week period. I had a dream that I was a stuttering boxer who fought a bearded outlaw by a swan-filled lake. On second thought, maybe Mr. Brand just liked Christian Bale's character in The Fighter. Might be the only dude skinnier than him. On a related note, his repeated requests for condoms shows he's a safety guy (though it's kind of strange and creepy for a grown man to ask his mum to send condoms).

I'm not sure if he's making the case for or against 3D TV. While I do like a good tranny sighting, I'm not sure that I'm ready to see one in my living room while watching TV. Wait. Does this mean there's a tranny channel in 3D or does one appear when you turn on the TV? I'm confused. I don't know why I'm worried about this. One of those TVs is way out of my price range and I'm not exactly excited about wearing silly glasses while I watch TV.

Oh, good! A public service announcement! I hope that people who have those problems didn't think this Tweet was meant for a giggle.

That settles one of life's mysteries.

This actually raises more questions than it answers. Are his farts like those dogs at the airport, sniffing out other things? Is he saying his farts have an odor? And if so, is it sweet - like roses - or foul - like death? Inquiring minds...

That's very similar to the look my cat gives me when I wake up to find him inches from my face - like he's willing me to wake up (or not depending on the day).

Don't say no one told you this. Now you know.

Seriously. I don't know what it is about today's society that people can't just wait to let things take their natural course. People are so impatient that they feel like they must hurry things along.

Even if Elmo started it, I'm pretty sure my favorite red, furry friend keeps it above the belt. This is an episode of Sesame Street that would clearly require a warning and perhaps a visit from Dr. Drew to discuss "good touch, bad touch" and "when your privates go public."

And now I am totally excited about the new Arthur movie!

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