Facebook Is Still Creepy

I changed my relationship status last week and ever since then, the ads on the right column have just been creepy. Take a look:

Let's see... there's the guy who appears to be gay - but I can flirt with him for free. I can be matched with another single by chemistry (how do they do that - match my snark or does it involve a swabbing/blood sample?). Single dads? What could I possibly write on my FB profile that would make that ad appear? (Single dads, I'm not saying you're creepy. Just saying I don't believe a Single Moms dating site would get the same interest.)And if that's not enough for you, take a look at this ad:

Maybe I've watched a bit too much news, but this looks like a guy who would make his big TV debut on "To Catch a Predator." 

I love being able to connect with my friends and family on FB. I do not love the ads. I know they are necessary for the company to make a profit (and if they start charging, I'll leave the creepy ads and the social network without much sadness). But I'd like to opt out of the dating ads. If someone can tell me how to do that, I promise not to sign you up for any of those dating sites. 

My fingers are not crossed. 

Promise.

It's Pouring!

It has been raining at my house for six hours. Not just light rain. Heavy rain. I am hoping it will let up by the time I go to work. But I am also hopeful this will mean my yard will be a little greener - and fill out so that it will look better than this.

Week In Pop Culture

It appears Kim Kardashian's diet secret has nothing to do with that stuff she is paid to promote.

Look! Super-skinny girls can't wear everything!

I am far from a singer, but if I killed myself on "American Idol," I'd be pissed that this is the best I'd get out of that work.

Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford did their show without makeup. Is it just me or does anyone else think Kathie Lee looks a little like Mariah Carey?

I don't know if I believe there's this fight over Alex Rodriguez. He's had sex with Madonna. That's gross.

Larry King may not need that divorce lawyer after all...

I never would have thought Dennis Quaid could play Bill Clinton until I saw this.

Miley Cyrus dances the opposite of Hannah Montana with a gay dude. Shocking.

Jessica Simpson has gotten a job - playing herself. Hope she nails it! Also, she's a reader! Well, she has a Kindle and it has books on it. I cannot actually confirm she will read them herself.

Teri Hatcher now has a website offering what I can only assume are cougariffic tips.

Cynthia Nixon says the nicest things about her girlfriend.

If I meet Catherine Zeta-Jones, I'm going to pin her down and force feed her a cheeseburger.

"So You Think You Can Dance" is my summer TV candy. If you like it, too, here's some judge news.

I might have tried these.

She rocked SNL (then partied like a rock star), so why shouldn't Betty White host the Academy Awards?

Tyra Banks has written a book and mine sits 1/4 completed on my laptop. I am clearly FOF.

Oooh! Look! It's the Battle of The Attention Whores!

I have never wanted a tattoo. So, can someone please explain Amanda Seyfried's ink? And will she still want that when she's elderly?

This story makes me want to be a stage mom.

Miss USA is doing its best to make you believe beauty is more than skin deep with these sexy photos.

Maxim's Hot 100 of 2010 and I am shocked at the girl at the top of the list.

CBS lets Andy Rooney prove how out of touch he is with pop culture.

Newsweek (wrongly) writes that gays can't play straight and be successful. The lovely and talented Kristin Chenoweth sets them straight (no pun intended).

Bobby Brown is engaged and I really hope there's a reality show coming soon.

R.I.P., Lena Horne.

I Want It ALL

OK. I don't really want it ALL. That's an impossible order (and there are plenty of things I don't really want). But as a homeowner, I want a few simple things. One of them: a full, green yard. Last year's drought did a number on my yard. It was more straw than grass. So, over the last few months, I have fertilized, raked, planted seeds and carefully placed fertilized (read: stinky) dirt in patches that no longer resembled grass. If you know me, you know that I am not patient. So, when I plant seeds, I want results in days, not weeks. So when I peek into my backyard and see this, I'm a little happy, a little frustrated.

That's definite progress from the yard I had last year. But I want it to look like this: 

Instead, it reminds me of this:

That's right. I have the Cliff Clavin of yards - if his beard also includes a few weeds.

I'm Confused

These 7-year-old girls are great dancers! My question: why are they dressed like mini-whores?

Bono's 50 Today!

Week In Pop Culture

Pink is trying not to be a mean girl.

Ugh. Kristen Stewart. She is quite possibly the worst actress of all time.

James Gandolfini might be returning to HBO.

Elvis now (allegedly) died because he was all pooped-up.

The lovely Dita Von Teese nails it.

I wouldn't normally weigh-in on such an issue, but I really DO believe Kim Kardashian is a (fame) whore.

Chaz Bono is officially a mister. There's a twisted part of me that wants to know if he has a wiener.

I think that "Intervention" show needs to focus on Whitney Houston.

Some country singer is a lesbian. Her then-country singer boyfriend should have known something was up.

I don't even know what to say about this:

"Sex And The City" ladies don't always ♥ one another.

Jennifer Aniston's diet secret sounds gross.

Craig Kilborn might be returning to TV.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck attacks Erin Andrews for her costumes on DWTS, then apologizes.

A&E has the most random list of "celebrities" for reality shows: David Hasselhoff, Dee Snider & Bob Saget.

Miley Cyrus is becoming Britney Spears. I predict head shaving/pregnancy in five years.

Heidi Montag has already made plans to make her chest explode. 

Have to wonder if the people making those Hollywood Walk of Fame stars actually pay attention when making the stars.

Is it a good sign when one of a movie's stars does not like the poster?

Jimmy Fallon will host the Emmy Awards.

Kate Gosselin fans will get to see her do a full-body dry heave one more time.

Katy Perry likes people to pay attention to her. Or maybe she was trying to keep up with Lady GaGa.

Drugs did not kill Corey Haim.

Bret Michaels is out of the hospital.

Madonna just says no to airbrushing.

I would sooo watch soccer if it was played like this.

Watch what happens when a "Modern Family" star and Lady GaGa collide.

Not sure why Christina Hendricks went out with a muppet on her shoulder.

Jennifer Aniston might be on the verge of turning into a kidnapper.

Cameron Diaz apparently likes sloppy thirds.

Mariah Carey brought a few special guests to her third wedding to her young husband.

Totally believe Naomi Campbell is sorry for tossing her cell phone at people repeatedly.

Those "Jersey Shore" kids are really milking their 15 minutes. Dear God, please make it end soon.

That Johnny Weir is so cute! He thinks he can sing like Britney (Johnny, even Britney doesn't sing like Britney).

Jane Fonda gets back into her leotard.

Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama. I'm guessing Jessica should start by brushing her teeth.

If these pictures really do show James Franco is a heroin addict, I am not surprised.

R.I.P., Lynn Redgrave.

Having A "Sex And The City" Moment

And, friends, that's NOT a good thing.

Before I hopped in the shower this morning, I caught a glimpse of myself that reminded me of an episode from season five called "Luck Be An Old Lady." It was Charlotte's 35th birthday and the girls all went to Atlantic City to celebrate. Only Charlotte wasn't exactly in the mood to honor the date. Miranda gave her a deck of Old Maid cards, which made Charlotte put on her sad face. Then, she saw herself in the mirror - shower cap and all - and looked like the lady from the stack of cards. That prompted her to go to the casino all tarted up.

I tried my best to look for Charlotte as Old Maid. Couldn't find one. So, I'll share my slightly altered picture of myself this morning. I didn't dare post it untouched as I am not wearing a stitch of makeup (might still have a little bit left over from yesterday). 

I realized I may look like an Old Maid who's had a rough night, but I hardly consider myself an Old Maid. First of all, people are living to be well past 100, so my age (and Charlotte's) are hardly old. Second, I have very few maid traits. I am, like, 15 cats away from being Crazy Cat Lady.

So my picture made me sad (briefly). I know that I live a good life that has it's moments. Seriously, Lottery Gods, help a girl out! Even though that photo shows me having a pathetic moment, I am over it. Until I put on that shower cap again.

PS - Shower cap makers, could you make some that are cuter and less grandma-like? Thank you!

Oh! So THIS Is Why You Have Kids!