It looks like fun being Suri Cruise.
I may be working on a scheme to convince Steven Tyler to let me stay at his Hawaiian pad.
Here's one more reason to love Melissa McCarthy.
How does Kim Kardashian keep getting acting jobs?
Brad Pitt hasn't quit helping New Orleans.
Even Armie Hammer knows those Texas cops and their drug charges are silly.
Russell Brand sounds like a jerk.
Russell Crowe is not happy about the Oscar nominations.
Drew Carey is no longer engaged.
I don't know what to say about these three ladies.
Wheel of Fortune sounds like a fun place to work!
Drew Barrymore is converting to Judaism.
Judging by Hangover 2, I'm not sure these paychecks are deserved for a Hangover 3.
Joan Rivers and Chelsea Handler aren't besties.
Rihanna is getting more tattoos.
Jeremy London is in trouble. Again.
I would sell my cat to buy tickets to this show if it happens.
Salma Hayek took her boobs out to the movies.
Here's Miley Cyrus reminding you parents she's not a role model.
Joan Rivers had more face work.
Lisa Rinna is writing a sex book. Yeah. Think about that.
Speaking of sex, guess who hasn't had any in 29 years.
Ben Stiller is behind an upcoming HBO show.
Halle Berry is having baby daddy drama.
I would love to have Jen Aniston's new house.
Kim Kardashian's booty seems to defy gravity - for now.
Demi Moore is "exhausted."
Cynthia Nixon shaved her head.
Bethenny Frankel's talk show is happening after all.
Mel Gibson had jury duty.
Melissa McCarthy could not be more lovable.
If you think TV needs more Roseanne, here you go.
Here's one way for Madonna to get people not to talk about her freaky arms.
The Oscar nominations were announced.
Cynthia Nixon says she chose to be gay.
Kanye West is still kind of a jerk.
Britney Spears' dad is no longer her decider.
Aretha Franklin has put the breaks on her wedding plans.
Rihanna's friends need to have an intervention.
For a fashion designer, Jessica Simpson hasn't learned how to dress her pregnant self in a cute way.
Tracy Morgan was taken to the hospital in Sundance.
I'm actually sad about Heidi Klum and Seal.
Bryce Dallas Howard has a baby girl.
Whitney Houston is in a new movie. That's a good thing, 'cause she's allegedly broke.
If Orlando Bloom can't make this retro-looking cell phone handpiece look good, then I won't get it (even though I kind of still want it).
William Shatner won't be peddling bargain vacations anymore.
I didn't like this Stephenie Meyer book, so I won't see the movie.
The surviving members of Three's Company had a reunion.
Blossom is pregnant.
Kobe Bryant's divorce was not cheap.
I still say Dane Cook is not funny. He's also a jerk.
Simon Cowell is single.
Rest in peace James Farentino.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Happy Chinese New Year!
It's the Year of The Dragon! Since I can't get you all dragons (believe me - I TRIED), I'm sending you all these cards.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Week In Pop Culture
This look is really not for anyone over the age of 8.
Eva Longoria is getting rid of all traces of Tony Parker.
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have one heckuva home.
Kenny G. is getting divorced.
Kathy Griffin really wants people to look at her.
Here are some new rumors about Katy Perry.
Chuck Norris has a problem with The Expendables 2.
Jude Law should maybe just shave off his remaining hairs.
It's possible Twilight will never die.
Zoe Saldana is a heroine.
Katherine Heigl wants to return to Grey's Anatomy.
Sarah Drew has a new baby boy.
That Sex and The City prequel is coming to TV.
LOVE Florence! Also, she makes me look tan!
This is sure to have made the young girls dislike Selena Gomez a little more.
I don't get Jessica Simpson's sense of humor.
Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy in a movie together? Yes, please!
Ryan Seacrest is going to run his own (hopefully Kardashian-free) network.
We'll never officially know what happened to Friends.
I wouldn't read Josh Radnor's memoir even if he answers the whole How I Met Your Mother riddle.
No Bridesmaids II.
That Taylor Swift is one lovely (tall) young lady!
Mark Wahlberg needs to think before he says things like this. Then, he wouldn't have to apologize.
Someone should tell Piers Morgan no one cares who he doesn't want on his show.
If this Emma Thompson story doesn't make you stop running around your house naked, nothing will.
Cindy Crawford's daughter is now a model.
I don't care what these ads say, I don't believe Kate Hudson shops at Ann Taylor.
Ladies Love the new Grammy's host!
LeAnn Rimes has just cursed her marriage.
Heather Locklear may go to rehab.
Sean Penn is now an Ambassador to Haiti.
Jessica Capshaw is expecting her third baby.
Check out the famous dudes who walked the runway for Prada.
Elisabetta Canalis has fallen far, far away from the likes of George Clooney.
I like it better when Cameron Diaz tries a little harder.
Ricky Gervais says he'll never host the Golden Globes again (but I'm pretty sure he said that last year).
Michelle Williams didn't really need to do this. It's the kind of thing an actress without talent would do.
This happened last week, but if you're only getting pop culture information from this blog, this is brand new to you!
Joan Rivers is selling her incredible NYC apartment.
Did Bruce Jenner have more plastic surgery?
If you missed the Golden Globes, go here for a full recap.
I pretty much think Rihanna does this on the regular. Also, this is not a good idea.
Kelsey Grammer's new wife is pregnant.
Work It was rightly canceled.
Mena Suvari is getting divorced.
Gene Hackman was hit by a car.
Sinead O'Connor's marriage might be over again.
Paula Deen has diabetes.
Here's who won the Critic's Choice Awards. Here's who wore what there.
Rest in peace, Etta James.
Eva Longoria is getting rid of all traces of Tony Parker.
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen have one heckuva home.
Kenny G. is getting divorced.
Kathy Griffin really wants people to look at her.
Here are some new rumors about Katy Perry.
Chuck Norris has a problem with The Expendables 2.
Jude Law should maybe just shave off his remaining hairs.
It's possible Twilight will never die.
Zoe Saldana is a heroine.
Katherine Heigl wants to return to Grey's Anatomy.
Sarah Drew has a new baby boy.
That Sex and The City prequel is coming to TV.
LOVE Florence! Also, she makes me look tan!
This is sure to have made the young girls dislike Selena Gomez a little more.
I don't get Jessica Simpson's sense of humor.
Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy in a movie together? Yes, please!
Ryan Seacrest is going to run his own (hopefully Kardashian-free) network.
We'll never officially know what happened to Friends.
I wouldn't read Josh Radnor's memoir even if he answers the whole How I Met Your Mother riddle.
No Bridesmaids II.
That Taylor Swift is one lovely (tall) young lady!
Mark Wahlberg needs to think before he says things like this. Then, he wouldn't have to apologize.
Someone should tell Piers Morgan no one cares who he doesn't want on his show.
If this Emma Thompson story doesn't make you stop running around your house naked, nothing will.
Cindy Crawford's daughter is now a model.
I don't care what these ads say, I don't believe Kate Hudson shops at Ann Taylor.
Ladies Love the new Grammy's host!
LeAnn Rimes has just cursed her marriage.
Heather Locklear may go to rehab.
Sean Penn is now an Ambassador to Haiti.
Jessica Capshaw is expecting her third baby.
Check out the famous dudes who walked the runway for Prada.
Elisabetta Canalis has fallen far, far away from the likes of George Clooney.
I like it better when Cameron Diaz tries a little harder.
Ricky Gervais says he'll never host the Golden Globes again (but I'm pretty sure he said that last year).
Michelle Williams didn't really need to do this. It's the kind of thing an actress without talent would do.
This happened last week, but if you're only getting pop culture information from this blog, this is brand new to you!
Joan Rivers is selling her incredible NYC apartment.
Did Bruce Jenner have more plastic surgery?
If you missed the Golden Globes, go here for a full recap.
I pretty much think Rihanna does this on the regular. Also, this is not a good idea.
Kelsey Grammer's new wife is pregnant.
Work It was rightly canceled.
Mena Suvari is getting divorced.
Gene Hackman was hit by a car.
Sinead O'Connor's marriage might be over again.
Paula Deen has diabetes.
Here's who won the Critic's Choice Awards. Here's who wore what there.
Rest in peace, Etta James.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Facebook Needs An Ad Monitor
It's been a while since I've mentioned it, but I am super surprised Facebook still hasn't taken any steps to get out of the creeper business. I mean, they're all about knowing where I am and what I'm doing, but they can't monitor their ads?
I don't get this.
So, become a social worker and maybe put babies on a diet? Or do you take fat babies away from their parents? Or do you just apply to get financial aid, then figure out if social work is for you?
Because if you're looking for a job and are inspired by that Facebook ad, I'm gonna say you probably like to eat babies. Or want one of your own. Sad.
Here's another one I don't get.
Is this a mom? Is she scared of going back to school? Is she scared to have her picture taken because she kind of looks like a guy pretending to be a lady and it's daytime so you see her true colors?
Wouldn't the better picture for an ad be of a woman appearing to do homework while holding her baby? Like this.
See? All I did was do a Google image search for a woman doing homework while holding a baby. Facebook ad team, meet Google. It's magical!
Look, I really like a taco. But look at the size of that thing! It's actually bigger than the lady's head. I don't even think she's eager to eat it. She's just amazed her super large hands can hold it until someone finally snaps the picture.
Yes, things are bigger in Texas. Still... this is beyond ridiculous. It's dangerous! Tacos could be the new tasers! Throw one at an attacker and run!
I suppose if the point of the ads is to make me notice (but not click on them), then Facebook is doing it right. But if they want me to respect them, they're going to have a to try alittle lot harder.
SIMILAR POSTS:
I don't get this.
So, become a social worker and maybe put babies on a diet? Or do you take fat babies away from their parents? Or do you just apply to get financial aid, then figure out if social work is for you?
Because if you're looking for a job and are inspired by that Facebook ad, I'm gonna say you probably like to eat babies. Or want one of your own. Sad.
Here's another one I don't get.
Is this a mom? Is she scared of going back to school? Is she scared to have her picture taken because she kind of looks like a guy pretending to be a lady and it's daytime so you see her true colors?
Wouldn't the better picture for an ad be of a woman appearing to do homework while holding her baby? Like this.
See? All I did was do a Google image search for a woman doing homework while holding a baby. Facebook ad team, meet Google. It's magical!
Look, I really like a taco. But look at the size of that thing! It's actually bigger than the lady's head. I don't even think she's eager to eat it. She's just amazed her super large hands can hold it until someone finally snaps the picture.
Yes, things are bigger in Texas. Still... this is beyond ridiculous. It's dangerous! Tacos could be the new tasers! Throw one at an attacker and run!
I suppose if the point of the ads is to make me notice (but not click on them), then Facebook is doing it right. But if they want me to respect them, they're going to have a to try a
SIMILAR POSTS:
Friday, January 13, 2012
Week In Pop Culture
Anyone else want to squeeze the little cheeks of Harper Beckham?
Angelina Jolie cries.
Cameron Diaz might be a little bustier.
Here are some of the winners of the Critics Choice Awards.
Ashton Kutcher has a naked face.
Olivia Munn is naked. Again.
Heather Locklear is in the hospital.
This episode of 30 Rock sounds fun!
Kelly Osbourne should listen to her mom.
Katy Perry's dad stepped in IT.
I kind of believe Jennifer Lopez is giving her new boyfriend an allowance.
To see what the stars wore to the People's Choice Awards, click here.
I don't understand Justin Bieber.
Ashley Judd is going to be on TV.
Sinead O'Connor needs real help.
Halle Berry is engaged.
If you want to see Michael Douglas without a shirt, click here.
This news ALMOST makes me want to buy some Skechers.
Dolly Parton has a tattoo in a place where plenty of people are looking.
Show off is probably not the right phrase for 50 Cent.
James Cameron is making a Cirque du Soleil movie.
If AMC makes a Goodfellas show, I'll probably watch it.
Marc Anthony might be a real jerk.
It's beginning to sound like Patrick Dempsey might not be on Grey's Anatomy much longer.
One of the guys from Kid'N'Play is in some trouble.
Molly Sims is pregnant.
Chelsea Handler says she's cutting back on booze.
Justin Timberlake has a beard.
If I have to choose between actress Katie Holmes and model Katie Holmes, I'll go with the model.
Ricky Gervais is already making digs on celebs ahead of Sunday's Golden Globes.
Another "accidental" celeb nudey picture on Twitter.
I do not approve of Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor in a movie.
I can't wait for the return of Mad Men!
Nick Cannon is out of the hospital.
Evan Rachel Wood may be engaged.
Aaron Paul is engaged.
Jason Segel made one girl's internet dream come true.
Amy Poehler's boy is adorable!
This news makes me want to watch the Grammy Awards.
Now that Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore, will people still watch him?
Brad Pitt is hurt.
Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby girl has a cool name.
Kathy Griffin has a new talk show.
That actress who sued IMDB for revealing her age should know she isn't not getting work because of her age, it's because she's done HORRIBLE movies.
Carrie Fisher might need to put on a little bit of weight. Or at least wear less makeup.
Steve Perry wants Journey to record some new music with him.
Betty White's 90th birthday party sounds fun!
Here's a good reason to watch the SAG Awards.
Kirstie Alley doesn't want a good-looking man.
Isaac Mizrahi is married.
Johnny Depp may be having relationship troubles.
Angelina Jolie cries.
Cameron Diaz might be a little bustier.
Here are some of the winners of the Critics Choice Awards.
Ashton Kutcher has a naked face.
Olivia Munn is naked. Again.
Heather Locklear is in the hospital.
This episode of 30 Rock sounds fun!
Kelly Osbourne should listen to her mom.
Katy Perry's dad stepped in IT.
I kind of believe Jennifer Lopez is giving her new boyfriend an allowance.
To see what the stars wore to the People's Choice Awards, click here.
I don't understand Justin Bieber.
Ashley Judd is going to be on TV.
Sinead O'Connor needs real help.
Halle Berry is engaged.
If you want to see Michael Douglas without a shirt, click here.
This news ALMOST makes me want to buy some Skechers.
Dolly Parton has a tattoo in a place where plenty of people are looking.
Show off is probably not the right phrase for 50 Cent.
James Cameron is making a Cirque du Soleil movie.
If AMC makes a Goodfellas show, I'll probably watch it.
Marc Anthony might be a real jerk.
It's beginning to sound like Patrick Dempsey might not be on Grey's Anatomy much longer.
One of the guys from Kid'N'Play is in some trouble.
Molly Sims is pregnant.
Chelsea Handler says she's cutting back on booze.
Justin Timberlake has a beard.
If I have to choose between actress Katie Holmes and model Katie Holmes, I'll go with the model.
Ricky Gervais is already making digs on celebs ahead of Sunday's Golden Globes.
Another "accidental" celeb nudey picture on Twitter.
I do not approve of Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor in a movie.
I can't wait for the return of Mad Men!
Nick Cannon is out of the hospital.
Evan Rachel Wood may be engaged.
Aaron Paul is engaged.
Jason Segel made one girl's internet dream come true.
Amy Poehler's boy is adorable!
This news makes me want to watch the Grammy Awards.
Now that Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore, will people still watch him?
Brad Pitt is hurt.
Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby girl has a cool name.
Kathy Griffin has a new talk show.
That actress who sued IMDB for revealing her age should know she isn't not getting work because of her age, it's because she's done HORRIBLE movies.
Carrie Fisher might need to put on a little bit of weight. Or at least wear less makeup.
Steve Perry wants Journey to record some new music with him.
Betty White's 90th birthday party sounds fun!
Here's a good reason to watch the SAG Awards.
Kirstie Alley doesn't want a good-looking man.
Isaac Mizrahi is married.
Johnny Depp may be having relationship troubles.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The End of The Fortune Cookie?
There is something about this simple cookie with its neat piece of white paper tucked inside that is almost the most exciting part about eating Chinese food. Maybe part of the fun is eating something salty, spicy and just greasy enough, then finishing off the meal with a tiny bit of near sweetness that makes it fun. But, lately, I've noticed these cookies aren't about fortunes like they used to be. They're more like a nice little pep talk from a stranger.
I've collected a few of these papers over the last few months (seriously - it was over time, not many consecutive nights of Chinese food) to illustrate my concern the cookie has become politically correct.
This is one I keep on my computer monitor at work. I do find it rings true - especially on the job. All that awful news out there could make a girl crazy (well, crazy to the point where she might be all weepy all the time and stop caring for personal hygiene - one of my biggest nightmares). So, we laugh. We have to. Or we cry. No one wants to see that on the news. OK, the people who do are just not well. I think most of them only read conspiracy theories on the Internet because they don't trust TV news.
This one is also on my office computer monitor. I would REALLY like to believe it's true, but I'm a realist. I know I live in a world where it seems cranky pants are almost always on sale. And they must be especially cheap because I see jerks on the regular - not all in the office.
This might be the first time I ever called a cookie a liar. I don't think life calms down until you die. Depending on how you die, it might not be all that calm. See? Cookies lie.
Really? Because I have, like, *this* much patience. EXAMPLE: When I go fishing, I quickly cast my line out, let it sit for about two seconds, reel it in, then repeat. Know something? I catch fish. In fact, I take great joy out of announcing, "GOT ONE!" every time - even when it's not a keeper. So, take that, patience!
Seriously, cookie? If I knew what new ideas were sitting around in my mind waiting to be found, I wouldn't spend so much time digging for my keys in my purse. If those new ideas are sitting in my brain, they only seem to rattle out when I have some chocolate. And I know when it's a good one because someone will tell me. Maybe I should start a "Nicole had a good idea" journal...
This time, the cookie did not lie. I actually received this one around the time I received word of my promotion - which I had to keep secret for months. Still, I wanted to think this also meant the "rewarding" part meant I'd win the lottery. Maybe that will still happen (NOTE TO SELF: must by lottery tickets to increase chances of winning).
Maybe my memory of a long-awaited event is hidden behind those new ideas, but I can't think of what event has had me on edge. But it will be good news. The cookie says so.
See? These things are all positive, feel-good messages. But they hardly hold the key to my future. I want the cookie to say something like, "Fairies will show up to clean your house for free" or "Elves will clean out your garage" instead of a vague hint at something good in my future. It's like someone sued a fortune cookie company because the little paper didn't come through so now they're afraid to be more committed to those words.
Sad. So sad, I don't even want to play those lucky numbers in the lottery because I don't believe there's any good luck in them.
Not sad enough to keep me from drowning my tears in a bucket of orange peel beef.
I've collected a few of these papers over the last few months (seriously - it was over time, not many consecutive nights of Chinese food) to illustrate my concern the cookie has become politically correct.
This is one I keep on my computer monitor at work. I do find it rings true - especially on the job. All that awful news out there could make a girl crazy (well, crazy to the point where she might be all weepy all the time and stop caring for personal hygiene - one of my biggest nightmares). So, we laugh. We have to. Or we cry. No one wants to see that on the news. OK, the people who do are just not well. I think most of them only read conspiracy theories on the Internet because they don't trust TV news.
This one is also on my office computer monitor. I would REALLY like to believe it's true, but I'm a realist. I know I live in a world where it seems cranky pants are almost always on sale. And they must be especially cheap because I see jerks on the regular - not all in the office.
This might be the first time I ever called a cookie a liar. I don't think life calms down until you die. Depending on how you die, it might not be all that calm. See? Cookies lie.
Really? Because I have, like, *this* much patience. EXAMPLE: When I go fishing, I quickly cast my line out, let it sit for about two seconds, reel it in, then repeat. Know something? I catch fish. In fact, I take great joy out of announcing, "GOT ONE!" every time - even when it's not a keeper. So, take that, patience!
Seriously, cookie? If I knew what new ideas were sitting around in my mind waiting to be found, I wouldn't spend so much time digging for my keys in my purse. If those new ideas are sitting in my brain, they only seem to rattle out when I have some chocolate. And I know when it's a good one because someone will tell me. Maybe I should start a "Nicole had a good idea" journal...
This time, the cookie did not lie. I actually received this one around the time I received word of my promotion - which I had to keep secret for months. Still, I wanted to think this also meant the "rewarding" part meant I'd win the lottery. Maybe that will still happen (NOTE TO SELF: must by lottery tickets to increase chances of winning).
Maybe my memory of a long-awaited event is hidden behind those new ideas, but I can't think of what event has had me on edge. But it will be good news. The cookie says so.
See? These things are all positive, feel-good messages. But they hardly hold the key to my future. I want the cookie to say something like, "Fairies will show up to clean your house for free" or "Elves will clean out your garage" instead of a vague hint at something good in my future. It's like someone sued a fortune cookie company because the little paper didn't come through so now they're afraid to be more committed to those words.
Sad. So sad, I don't even want to play those lucky numbers in the lottery because I don't believe there's any good luck in them.
Not sad enough to keep me from drowning my tears in a bucket of orange peel beef.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Week In Pop Culture
Not many people can pull of casual attire as well as Halle Berry.
Sienna Miller is pregnant.
Horrible Bosses 2 is happening.
JC Chasez saved a baby.
Keri Russell has a new baby.
This girl asked out Jason Segel with a song on YouTube.
Justin Bieber got a new tattoo.
Cindy Crawford's face looks different. Like, Janice Dickinson different.
Drew Barrymore is engaged.
Adele has a new boyfriend.
Kanye West got a little wordy on Twitter.
Marc Anthony has a new girlfriend.
Jeremy Renner was in a bar fight.
Alex Rodriguez is dating a lady wrestler.
Martha Stewart has lost her talk show.
Cameron Diaz has cut off her hair.
Hugh Jackman already has his next Broadway gig lined up.
Paris Hilton makes me a bit ragey.
Sinead O'Connor is back with her husband.
Mario Lopez is engaged.
If this story is true, I won't see Bridesmaids 2.
It will be a sad day when David Beckham is no longer able to pose for these ads.
The new Celebrity Apprentice cast has been announced.
Nick Cannon is recovering from kidney failure.
Elton John wants Justin Timberlake to play him in a biopic. He may have to wait for JT's wedding to Jessica Biel.
It appears the Schwarzeneggers are back on. Or are they?
Rooney Mara looks great without that Dragon Tattoo!
Demi Moore's new role sounds like a stretch.
Johnny Weir is married.
I like that when Ryan Seacrest talks about the future, he doesn't mention Kardashians.
Salma Hayek will be knighted.
Steven Tyler in a mankini. Click at your own risk.
Aretha Franklin is engaged.
Paranormal Activity 4 is happening.
Ladies (and maybe gentleman?), here is the worst dressed man.
This is what happens when you lose a bet with Heidi Klum.
Are these two back together?
Kirstie Alley is on a mission.
Gwyneth Paltrow's hangover cure sounds a bit crazy.
LeBron James is engaged.
Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart have a new baby girl.
I hope this Rihanna story isn't true.
Either Kathie Lee Gifford is REALLY drunk on TV or she's clueless. Or both.
This is George Clooney trying to prank Alex Rodriguez.
Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced.
Lady Gaga has a boyfriend.
Rest in peace, Angelo Bowers.
Sienna Miller is pregnant.
Horrible Bosses 2 is happening.
JC Chasez saved a baby.
Keri Russell has a new baby.
This girl asked out Jason Segel with a song on YouTube.
Justin Bieber got a new tattoo.
Cindy Crawford's face looks different. Like, Janice Dickinson different.
Drew Barrymore is engaged.
Adele has a new boyfriend.
Kanye West got a little wordy on Twitter.
Marc Anthony has a new girlfriend.
Jeremy Renner was in a bar fight.
Alex Rodriguez is dating a lady wrestler.
Martha Stewart has lost her talk show.
Cameron Diaz has cut off her hair.
Hugh Jackman already has his next Broadway gig lined up.
Paris Hilton makes me a bit ragey.
Sinead O'Connor is back with her husband.
Mario Lopez is engaged.
If this story is true, I won't see Bridesmaids 2.
It will be a sad day when David Beckham is no longer able to pose for these ads.
The new Celebrity Apprentice cast has been announced.
Nick Cannon is recovering from kidney failure.
Elton John wants Justin Timberlake to play him in a biopic. He may have to wait for JT's wedding to Jessica Biel.
It appears the Schwarzeneggers are back on. Or are they?
Rooney Mara looks great without that Dragon Tattoo!
Demi Moore's new role sounds like a stretch.
Johnny Weir is married.
I like that when Ryan Seacrest talks about the future, he doesn't mention Kardashians.
Salma Hayek will be knighted.
Steven Tyler in a mankini. Click at your own risk.
Aretha Franklin is engaged.
Paranormal Activity 4 is happening.
Ladies (and maybe gentleman?), here is the worst dressed man.
This is what happens when you lose a bet with Heidi Klum.
Are these two back together?
Kirstie Alley is on a mission.
Gwyneth Paltrow's hangover cure sounds a bit crazy.
LeBron James is engaged.
Eric Dane and Rebecca Gayheart have a new baby girl.
I hope this Rihanna story isn't true.
Either Kathie Lee Gifford is REALLY drunk on TV or she's clueless. Or both.
This is George Clooney trying to prank Alex Rodriguez.
Katy Perry and Russell Brand are getting divorced.
Lady Gaga has a boyfriend.
Rest in peace, Angelo Bowers.
Monday, January 2, 2012
January Movies
The new year brings new movies - though some aren't exactly award-worthy. That's not my sole criteria for choosing a movie (I do appreciate a silly film every now and then). So, here are my thoughts on the movies out this month. As usual, I'll start with what I want to see.
The Iron Lady
I will basically see any Meryl Streep movie (even that It's Complicated movie, which - spoiler alert - was not really complicated). But Meryl Streep portraying an actual person is ALWAYS a win. I don't even care if it's historically accurate. I will see it and love it. And I will root for Meryl to win another Oscar. You heard it here first.
Haywire
I normally wouldn't be interested in these kind of spy movies. I mean, how can the CIA allow these movies to keep happening? Every one of these movies makes the agency look like the worst employer ever - constantly turning on its people, forcing them to go on the run and defend themselves. Who wants to work for those people? But this movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh, so I'll check it out.
Coriolanus
Once I get past the fact that this has the word "anus" in the title, I see that it has the potential to have hunky dudes without shirts. Sign me up!
The Grey
I won't rush the theater for this, but I will watch it at home and be even more afraid of something bad happening to me and seeing my cat eat me (the dog would NEVER do that).
Albert Nobbs
Glenn Close as a man? Why not?
What I'll Skip:
The Iron Lady
I will basically see any Meryl Streep movie (even that It's Complicated movie, which - spoiler alert - was not really complicated). But Meryl Streep portraying an actual person is ALWAYS a win. I don't even care if it's historically accurate. I will see it and love it. And I will root for Meryl to win another Oscar. You heard it here first.
Haywire
I normally wouldn't be interested in these kind of spy movies. I mean, how can the CIA allow these movies to keep happening? Every one of these movies makes the agency look like the worst employer ever - constantly turning on its people, forcing them to go on the run and defend themselves. Who wants to work for those people? But this movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh, so I'll check it out.
Coriolanus
Once I get past the fact that this has the word "anus" in the title, I see that it has the potential to have hunky dudes without shirts. Sign me up!
The Grey
I won't rush the theater for this, but I will watch it at home and be even more afraid of something bad happening to me and seeing my cat eat me (the dog would NEVER do that).
Albert Nobbs
Glenn Close as a man? Why not?
What I'll Skip:
- The Devil Inside - I am seriously afraid to watch these exorcism movies. It's not that they're gross or unbelievable. It's that I'm afraid the real spirits that possess people are looking for new bodies to rent and that they find those people when they watch these movies. So, no.
- Beneath The Darkness - Oh, Dennis Quaid! I liked it better when you were doing movies that weren't headed straight for DVD release!
- Contraband - This is yet another Mark Whalberg movie where he plays the guy who used to be bad, is now good and is forced to do one more bad thing to make things right. Blah.
- Joyful Noise - I have a few things to point out about this movie: 1) This will be noisy, but not quite joyful at all times; 2) There's no way this becomes a blockbuster hit; 3) It will probably have a sequel; 4) This movie should be rated DDDD for all that boobage happening in this film.
- The Divide - No.
- Loosies - If I'm not mistaken, this is actually an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
- Underworld: Awakening - I am happy Charlize Theron has found non-modeling work again, but I absolutely will not see this.
- One For The Money - I wouldn't see this even if Katherine Heigl wasn't the lead.
- Man on a Ledge - This sounds like something you'd see on the new Hawaii 5-O.
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Sunday, January 1, 2012
2011: I Read A LOT!
Last year, I thought I was doing good to read 16 books. This year, I originally set a goal of 20 books for 2011. I blew past that.
Thanks to Goodreads, I set a goal and had to reset it, still topping my original goal. Technically, I read 29.5 books (more on that later). And of those books, there were 14 that I would recommend. Because I know you're dying to know which books you should read so we can talk about them later, here are those 15:
The Most Beautiful Walk in The World
I wrote about this book when I finished it in May. It is THE book I recommend to anyone going to Paris (not just because I want you to buy one of those big trunks and stuff me in it when you go).
This book makes me want to just go to Paris and walk around. Maybe forever.
However, since I have pets, a mortgage and no income other than my job (which most certainly would not pay me to do pursue this dream), I must go back to dreaming about the day I can take this trip.
Note: if you'd like to donate to the "Send Nicole to Paris Fund," please send me an email. Donations are not tax-deductible, but they will score you a souvenir as proof that I used your money for something nice (not just wine and cheese).
Decoded
If you thought I added this book because Oprah called it one of her favorite things, punch yourself in the face now.
I happen to like Jay-Z's music. And while he rhymes about telling his life through rap, this book doesn't repeat the stories he's sold. It shows his absolute brilliance.
Every lyric has its own meaning - often not what you hear the first, second or even third time. Take a glance at a track list and you won't truly understand that what he's doing is pure poetry. They are stories that need to be told. They are stories that deserve hearing. If you don't like rap, you can still appreciate this book. You may not bump to it in the car after reading, but you'll appreciate that what he's doing nothing short of amazing.
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
Not even in school did I read a science story that made me want to sit up and take note. But this book rattled my brain!
I was intrigued by the photo of this woman I had never heard of. Then, once I realized how medicine operated back in the 1950s and that doctors didn't exactly feel like they had to tell patients what they were doing, I couldn't stop reading. What these doctors and scientists did in taking Henrietta's DNA wasn't right, but it changed - and continues to change - the medical world forever.
I do feel sorry for her family in that they were never compensated for Henrietta's apparent unknowing contribution while pharmaceutical companies had made ridiculous amounts of money. But, that didn't distract me from this story. It was true science told as well as any fictional novel I've read. In fact, the truth was so interesting, it could have been made up and I'd still tell you what happened was real.
Love is a Mix Tape
There are few things I love more than books. Music is one of them.
Rob Sheffield puts them together in such a wonderful way, it's a good thing he works for Rolling Stone. This book is one of two memoirs he told with the help of music. SPOILER ALERT: this book is about the life and death of his wife, so don't read if that stuff bothers you.
If you're even partially aware of music, you know that some songs bring back specific memories of a time in your life. And for the rest of your life, you will think of that time when that song plays. One of my musical memories: every time I hear Guns 'N Roses' Welcome To The Jungle, I remember when a homeless man jumped in front of my car. I can't think of the year off the top of my head, but I know that if I'm driving and that song comes on, I am seriously afraid a jerky homeless dude is going to force me to hit him with my car.
I read Sheffield's other book. I liked it, but I didn't love it as much as this one.
Just Kids
I'm still not sure why I picked up this book. I am glad I did.
I haven't been a huge Patti Smith fan, but there was something about the picture on the cover of this book that made me think she had a great story to tell. Where else could a songwriter get such great material from? Magazines? Movies?
Nope.
Real life.
Patti's life is fascinating! I mean, who can live in New York City without money as long as she did? Sure, it was the 1970s and things were different (and definitely cheaper), but she did things her way. Always. Learn from that, girls. Learn. From. That.
Furious Love
One more lesson, girls: If you want to do marriage over and over again and wear lots of diamonds, don't let Kim Kardashian be your role model. Aim higher! Elizabeth Taylor would never let you be fooled by the rocks that she's got. She never wanted to be mistaken for any "girl" from the block.
She loved men and jewelry - though after reading this, I'm not sure what she loved more. Also, she loved booze and pills, but that love affair was not consistent.
Her fiery relationship with Richard Burton was what put the paparazzi on the payroll for magazines (and now bloggers and websites). They were better than any reality show because what was shared by the couple - carefully chosen to protect their image. Buy this for the story, but also the pictures. And if you were lucky enough to scoop up her jewels, can I borrow them?
Blood, Bones & Butter
I am not what some would call an adventurous diner. I must know what I'm eating. Sometimes, I need to know how it was cooked. Sometimes, I need to know where the food came from (particularly meat).
This book hooked me from the beginning with a story about a goat roasted over an open fire - and I'm not even really fond of goat anything (except miniature goats which I find adorable but not in a "need that on my dinner plate" kind of way)!
Gabrielle Hamilton makes me think chefs aren't that different from comedians and strippers who seem to have some sort of messed up childhood, struggle to make ends meet, then make one big hit that changes their worlds forever.
She also made me VERY hungry and a little more curious about food. So, let's go out to eat and you order the strange things on the menu so I can have a bite while I order the chicken.
Once Upon a River
I was told this book was like a modern-day Huck Finn. However, it's been so long since I've read that, I can't tell you.
To tell the truth, I read most of this book while I was waiting to not be selected to serve on a jury (that seriously made me sad). I was also a little distracted by the people who full on napped and snored while sitting in the room with me.
If this book isn't made into a movie some day, I'd be surprised and perhaps a little disappointed. Having just recently seen (and never read) The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I believe this sort of tortured girl who finds her way to be the kind of story Hollywood pees its pants over. You know, when it's not trying to remake some sitcom given a new life on Nick At Nite.
Before I Go To Sleep
If you read only one book told from the perspective of someone struggling with memory loss, this is the book!
There was at least one other fiction book with a similar story line (Turn of Mind wasn't nearly as good). But this one - I read it in a matter of days. I even skipped television (mostly) while I worked to figure out what caused this woman's memory to go blank.
I have to say, this memory loss thing is my fear. When I walk into a parking lot and can't remember where I parked, I have a panic that is so this could be why I'm fascinated by this thriller. It could also be that it's so well written, that I found myself shouting at the pages, like I could protect people from the outcome. I do this at movies (usually at home, rarely in the theater), but, sadly, it never changes the result.
Swamplandia!
This book made me not want to go to the swamps of Florida. It did make me wonder about parents who abandon their kids to go off and bring in an income for their families - forcing kids to raise themselves.
It truly is a wonder kids don't turn into wolves. And I don't know why Child Protective Services never seems to get involved in these stories. Guess that's be too sad?
Still, this girl's journey and being forced to raise herself was worth reading. I mean it. Even if it did make my hair swell with the humidity that seemed to drift off the pages.
It's not every book that comes *this* close to making you want to get in the water with gators (they're gators in Florida, not crocs, right? I get those confused). But don't try this unless you've been training - or the gators are really old and missing all their teeth. Even then, they could probably get you with the death roll.
Celebrity Memoirs
Yes, I learned six things from Tina Fey. I also learned a few things about and from Mindy Kaling. But the memoir that I surprisingly L-O-V-E-D was Rob Lowe's!
Let's start with the cover. I don't know if he sold his soul to keep his youth, but Rob Lowe is as handsome now as he was when I first saw him in The Outsiders! Sure, this book is stories about movies and the people in them (as well as those who make the movies). But it really is kind of cool to read those stories from a living actor who no doubt will have a second book when he might look just a year or two older than he looks here.
Plus, this book confirmed my thoughts about Tom Cruise. It also doesn't glance over the bad things that have happened in his life. It is also a book that makes Rob seem totally appreciative of how things are now. What the heck is wrong with that?
What I Didn't Finish
The Passage. I tried. I REALLY did. I made it about halfway through this +800 page book. Then, I realized I didn't care what happened to the characters or the planet. Since it's the first book in a trilogy, I figured I shouldn't torture myself to see how this one ends. If I had, I would have been forced to go through with the rest of the books and hate myself. Seriously - that book was ridiculously long. And I bought the hardcover version before my parents gave me a Nook for Christmas in 2010. Lugging around that beast was a chore. Just like trying to read it.
What's Next?
Don't let this stack of books on my nightstand fool you! There are six books there (two in my Nook - that's in the green case). One of the books on my Nook is 1Q84. That book is +900 pages. I hope it's good! The other book on the Nook is Domestic Violets. I've actually just started that one. I hope to finish it in the next few days.
I think I will set my goal for 2012 at 25 books. Perfectly reasonable. I just hope I'm lucky enough to have at least half of the books I read be worth recommending!
PS - If you want some of the books I've read (I'm keeping the ones I loved), they're available on Bookcrossing. I'm Nicole_Perez.
Thanks to Goodreads, I set a goal and had to reset it, still topping my original goal. Technically, I read 29.5 books (more on that later). And of those books, there were 14 that I would recommend. Because I know you're dying to know which books you should read so we can talk about them later, here are those 15:
The Most Beautiful Walk in The World
I wrote about this book when I finished it in May. It is THE book I recommend to anyone going to Paris (not just because I want you to buy one of those big trunks and stuff me in it when you go).
This book makes me want to just go to Paris and walk around. Maybe forever.
However, since I have pets, a mortgage and no income other than my job (which most certainly would not pay me to do pursue this dream), I must go back to dreaming about the day I can take this trip.
Note: if you'd like to donate to the "Send Nicole to Paris Fund," please send me an email. Donations are not tax-deductible, but they will score you a souvenir as proof that I used your money for something nice (not just wine and cheese).
Decoded
If you thought I added this book because Oprah called it one of her favorite things, punch yourself in the face now.
I happen to like Jay-Z's music. And while he rhymes about telling his life through rap, this book doesn't repeat the stories he's sold. It shows his absolute brilliance.
Every lyric has its own meaning - often not what you hear the first, second or even third time. Take a glance at a track list and you won't truly understand that what he's doing is pure poetry. They are stories that need to be told. They are stories that deserve hearing. If you don't like rap, you can still appreciate this book. You may not bump to it in the car after reading, but you'll appreciate that what he's doing nothing short of amazing.
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
Not even in school did I read a science story that made me want to sit up and take note. But this book rattled my brain!
I was intrigued by the photo of this woman I had never heard of. Then, once I realized how medicine operated back in the 1950s and that doctors didn't exactly feel like they had to tell patients what they were doing, I couldn't stop reading. What these doctors and scientists did in taking Henrietta's DNA wasn't right, but it changed - and continues to change - the medical world forever.
I do feel sorry for her family in that they were never compensated for Henrietta's apparent unknowing contribution while pharmaceutical companies had made ridiculous amounts of money. But, that didn't distract me from this story. It was true science told as well as any fictional novel I've read. In fact, the truth was so interesting, it could have been made up and I'd still tell you what happened was real.
Love is a Mix Tape
There are few things I love more than books. Music is one of them.
Rob Sheffield puts them together in such a wonderful way, it's a good thing he works for Rolling Stone. This book is one of two memoirs he told with the help of music. SPOILER ALERT: this book is about the life and death of his wife, so don't read if that stuff bothers you.
If you're even partially aware of music, you know that some songs bring back specific memories of a time in your life. And for the rest of your life, you will think of that time when that song plays. One of my musical memories: every time I hear Guns 'N Roses' Welcome To The Jungle, I remember when a homeless man jumped in front of my car. I can't think of the year off the top of my head, but I know that if I'm driving and that song comes on, I am seriously afraid a jerky homeless dude is going to force me to hit him with my car.
I read Sheffield's other book. I liked it, but I didn't love it as much as this one.
Just Kids
I'm still not sure why I picked up this book. I am glad I did.
I haven't been a huge Patti Smith fan, but there was something about the picture on the cover of this book that made me think she had a great story to tell. Where else could a songwriter get such great material from? Magazines? Movies?
Nope.
Real life.
Patti's life is fascinating! I mean, who can live in New York City without money as long as she did? Sure, it was the 1970s and things were different (and definitely cheaper), but she did things her way. Always. Learn from that, girls. Learn. From. That.
Furious Love
One more lesson, girls: If you want to do marriage over and over again and wear lots of diamonds, don't let Kim Kardashian be your role model. Aim higher! Elizabeth Taylor would never let you be fooled by the rocks that she's got. She never wanted to be mistaken for any "girl" from the block.
She loved men and jewelry - though after reading this, I'm not sure what she loved more. Also, she loved booze and pills, but that love affair was not consistent.
Her fiery relationship with Richard Burton was what put the paparazzi on the payroll for magazines (and now bloggers and websites). They were better than any reality show because what was shared by the couple - carefully chosen to protect their image. Buy this for the story, but also the pictures. And if you were lucky enough to scoop up her jewels, can I borrow them?
Blood, Bones & Butter
I am not what some would call an adventurous diner. I must know what I'm eating. Sometimes, I need to know how it was cooked. Sometimes, I need to know where the food came from (particularly meat).
This book hooked me from the beginning with a story about a goat roasted over an open fire - and I'm not even really fond of goat anything (except miniature goats which I find adorable but not in a "need that on my dinner plate" kind of way)!
Gabrielle Hamilton makes me think chefs aren't that different from comedians and strippers who seem to have some sort of messed up childhood, struggle to make ends meet, then make one big hit that changes their worlds forever.
She also made me VERY hungry and a little more curious about food. So, let's go out to eat and you order the strange things on the menu so I can have a bite while I order the chicken.
Once Upon a River
I was told this book was like a modern-day Huck Finn. However, it's been so long since I've read that, I can't tell you.
To tell the truth, I read most of this book while I was waiting to not be selected to serve on a jury (that seriously made me sad). I was also a little distracted by the people who full on napped and snored while sitting in the room with me.
If this book isn't made into a movie some day, I'd be surprised and perhaps a little disappointed. Having just recently seen (and never read) The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, I believe this sort of tortured girl who finds her way to be the kind of story Hollywood pees its pants over. You know, when it's not trying to remake some sitcom given a new life on Nick At Nite.
Before I Go To Sleep
If you read only one book told from the perspective of someone struggling with memory loss, this is the book!
There was at least one other fiction book with a similar story line (Turn of Mind wasn't nearly as good). But this one - I read it in a matter of days. I even skipped television (mostly) while I worked to figure out what caused this woman's memory to go blank.
I have to say, this memory loss thing is my fear. When I walk into a parking lot and can't remember where I parked, I have a panic that is so this could be why I'm fascinated by this thriller. It could also be that it's so well written, that I found myself shouting at the pages, like I could protect people from the outcome. I do this at movies (usually at home, rarely in the theater), but, sadly, it never changes the result.
Swamplandia!
This book made me not want to go to the swamps of Florida. It did make me wonder about parents who abandon their kids to go off and bring in an income for their families - forcing kids to raise themselves.
It truly is a wonder kids don't turn into wolves. And I don't know why Child Protective Services never seems to get involved in these stories. Guess that's be too sad?
Still, this girl's journey and being forced to raise herself was worth reading. I mean it. Even if it did make my hair swell with the humidity that seemed to drift off the pages.
It's not every book that comes *this* close to making you want to get in the water with gators (they're gators in Florida, not crocs, right? I get those confused). But don't try this unless you've been training - or the gators are really old and missing all their teeth. Even then, they could probably get you with the death roll.
Celebrity Memoirs
Yes, I learned six things from Tina Fey. I also learned a few things about and from Mindy Kaling. But the memoir that I surprisingly L-O-V-E-D was Rob Lowe's!
Let's start with the cover. I don't know if he sold his soul to keep his youth, but Rob Lowe is as handsome now as he was when I first saw him in The Outsiders! Sure, this book is stories about movies and the people in them (as well as those who make the movies). But it really is kind of cool to read those stories from a living actor who no doubt will have a second book when he might look just a year or two older than he looks here.
Plus, this book confirmed my thoughts about Tom Cruise. It also doesn't glance over the bad things that have happened in his life. It is also a book that makes Rob seem totally appreciative of how things are now. What the heck is wrong with that?
What I Didn't Finish
The Passage. I tried. I REALLY did. I made it about halfway through this +800 page book. Then, I realized I didn't care what happened to the characters or the planet. Since it's the first book in a trilogy, I figured I shouldn't torture myself to see how this one ends. If I had, I would have been forced to go through with the rest of the books and hate myself. Seriously - that book was ridiculously long. And I bought the hardcover version before my parents gave me a Nook for Christmas in 2010. Lugging around that beast was a chore. Just like trying to read it.
What's Next?
Don't let this stack of books on my nightstand fool you! There are six books there (two in my Nook - that's in the green case). One of the books on my Nook is 1Q84. That book is +900 pages. I hope it's good! The other book on the Nook is Domestic Violets. I've actually just started that one. I hope to finish it in the next few days.
I think I will set my goal for 2012 at 25 books. Perfectly reasonable. I just hope I'm lucky enough to have at least half of the books I read be worth recommending!
PS - If you want some of the books I've read (I'm keeping the ones I loved), they're available on Bookcrossing. I'm Nicole_Perez.
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