Online Coupons Gone Wrong

I love an online coupon! What I don't love: those that come across as more creepy than good deal. I've been keeping an eye on them lately. Here are a few that have made me shriek when I open my email.

Now, I appreciate a savings of 70% on most things. However, I have to wonder if you should put your fat in the hands of a stranger for a discount. The site says lasers do the zapping, but if they're only getting 30% of their usual fee, are they putting their best people behind the pointer? Also, this silly statement makes me question how seriously they take their business:

The procedure has no known side effects, except for the common laser-induced affinity for all works of science fiction.

Oh, good. I'll be a skinny geek. LAME.

Now, 91% off is one heckuva bargain! But I'm not putting my chompers in the hands of someone who's only collecting 9% of their usual fee. It's not that I don't think they couldn't put some sparkle in my shine. It's that I'm pretty sure they'll find something that will make me go back for a more expensive (and not discounted) service.


PASS.

This day, it was a random selection of goods. Get your teeth straight, a car wash, make beer at home, then go watch ladies play basketball. Did anyone grab all four deals?

I love gourmet popcorn. I do think the folks at Deanan could have chosen a better picture for their ad. Every time I peek at this image, I keep seeing a pile of skulls. Not appetizing. Look at it! It's like a scene from Goonies!


While I love me a good deal, I just find that more days than not I'm turned off by these coupons. And on the days that I buy one, I feel like I'm instantly up against the clock to make use of them before they expire. Too much pressure. 

Week In Pop Culture

John Travolta looks much better without the hairpieces.

Cher doesn't care if you see her as a work in progress.

I'm already calling this my new favorite TV show.

Little Suri Cruise is still wearing heels.

Am I the only one who thinks this Charlie Sheen roast should have happened six months ago?

I will never understand why celebrities walk around on public streets and sidewalks without shoes.

I am more surprised to see Anderson Cooper in the sunlight than who he's hanging with.

Ugh. Another one of these TV shows?

Mary Tyler Moore is getting a special honor.

Lindsay Lohan's sister looks different.

I really don't know what to think about Ben Affleck.

It's official: John Galliano is a hater.

I don't love the Kardashians, but even I think this is cute.

Paris Hilton is trying out a new job.

Lauren Bush is now Lauren Lauren.

Well, now Beyonce is just a show off.

Want some Schweddy Balls?

Blake Lively appears to like granny panties.

I wish I had a few million to buy just one of Elizabeth Taylor's pieces of jewelry.

New Year's Eve is going Gaga.

Reese Witherspoon was hit by a car.

Neil Diamond is engaged (and on Twitter).

Don't believe the reports Jessica Simpson is getting a breast reduction.

Idris Elba is making me thirsty.

The Price Is Right still has some behind the scenes creepiness going on. Allegedly.

NBC's Andrea Mitchell has breast cancer.

Kate Hudson's dad has pretty much guaranteed that he'll never talk to her again.

Movie I can't wait not to see: The Expendables 2.

Matthew Perry must still be raking in Friends cash.

Shannen Doherty's house is not in good shape.

Dr. Phil is talking about his interview with Casey Anthony's parents, so now you don't have to watch it.

Sandra Bullock's little Louis is super cute!

Here's Lady Gaga without makeup.

Celine Dion's home was hit by burglars.


Hold On for this reality show.

Farmer Ted was arrested.

New couple alert!


The View's new brides talked about their respective big days.

Can you tell Selma Blair had a baby six weeks ago?

Fellas, here's Olivia Munn in a bikini.

The CMA nominees have been announced.

If you want to give Madonna flowers, don't give her these.

Jim Carrey is still doing strange things.

Guy Ritchie has a new baby.

Is this a new Hollywood couple or are they "just friends?"

Gerard Butler = still hot.

This potential Oscar host seems a bit random. But it IS official.

Two people I almost forgot were actors are in a movie together.

Adele just makes me happy.

Susan Lucci is still bitter about her soap bubble being burst.

A little creepy: Al Pacino's girlfriend is 40 YEARS younger than him.

I can't believe airlines think they can kick someone (even a rocker) off a plane because their pants are too low.

Diddy is one heckuva vodka pitchman.

Melissa Joan Hart is right on with the crazy controversy surrounding DWTS.

Ralph Macchio has a sense of humor.

Billy Corgan is pretty much a jerk.

It seems like The Talk is lost.

I don't care what NASA says, I'm still interested in that Apollo 18 movie.

Who knew Susan Boyle and Nicki Minaj were a match made in somewhere?

Bethenny is now trying to take over the world of fiction.

Happy Labor Day!

If you're one of the lucky ones NOT laboring today, enjoy your day, slacker! If, like me, you're working, maybe these cards will get you through the day.

And I'll leave you with an important tip.

Week In Pop Culture

I seriously hope black eyes are not the "new thing" for Fall.

A crime show actor allegedly got violent with a neighbor.

This made me a little less interested in Alexander Skarsgard's new movie.

I can't be a bit smart alecky, but even I wouldn't do this.

A couple of famous ladies allegedly compared notes on their famous ex.

Until I see a promo, consider me on the fence about this new AMC series.

Kate Winslet still looks great.

Mel B has a baby girl.

For reality show stylist trash talk, click here.

I don't know how we would have made it without a Justin Bieber holiday album, but we'll never know now.

Kim Kardashian's new husband met her first husband. AWK-WARD.

Tom Jones is out of the hospital.

Oscar De La Hoya has finally come clean.

It looks like Shia LaBeouf is wearing one of his mom's holiday sweaters.

I don't know that I believe this latest chick fight rumor.

If you can't get work, you could be like Lindsay Lohan and get another tattoo.

Justin Timberlake's surprise concert gives me hope that he'll make another album some day.

Venus Williams is so sick that she can't play tennis. Sad.

Now, Marc Anthony is talking about his split with Jennifer Lopez.

Slash and his wife renewed their vows.

Hackers got Julianne Hough's cell phone pics.

Christina Ricci is super cute. Why did this magazine do this?

I'm really not that interested in this new slice of American Pie.

I'm also opposed to the Dirty Dancing remake.

A couple of skinny girls got into a Twitter feud.

Mel Gibson's custody mess has been settled.

A rapper is out of prison.

Alyssa Milano has a new baby boy.

Kate Hudson is already back in a bikini.

Marilyn Manson never has to try hard to make me think he's odd. Latest example: his, um, stiff date with her not-at-all private privates.

Robert Downey, Jr., is going to be a new dad.

A few ladies you know talk about relationships.

The Hoff is out of work.

Madonna gets older, her boy toys stay the same age. However, her face is I don't know what age.

Those Olsen twins did some good deeds.

This blurry picture of Henry Cavill as Superman makes me wonder how much is Henry and how much is Superman?

Justin Bieber crashed his Ferrari. Ugh. Typing that made me feel a little sick.

I didn't think it was funny when Tracy Morgan said this, so I wouldn't find it funny if Tracy Jordan said it on 30 Rock.

Fleetwood Mac is getting back together.

Darrell Hammond was seriously hurt in a car crash.

Daryl Hannah is now known for protesting not acting.

I'm really disappointed that I didn't get to spend my summer vacation with George Clooney.

Even dudes can't help but check out David Beckham!

I hope these two are back together.

MTV might as well call itself "Bieber TV" with a side of douchebags.

The official DWTS cast was announced. Can we find some way to make it so that when Nancy Grace is booted, she has to leave the country or stay off of TV?

What troubled economy? Snooki's ghostwriter is working on a second book!

This rocker lost his home to Hurricane Irene.

Matthew Fox might have a problem.

Adam Levine says what the rest of us think about MTV.

In case you intentionally didn't watch the VMAs (like me), here are some highlights. Here are the winners. Here's what the stars wore. Lady Gaga totally got into one of her characters. My favorite VMA news: Beyonce is pregnant!

Sofia Coppola is married.

Mariah Carey's workout partners are cute.

Brad Pitt's a hero.

A Victoria's Secret model is sharing some very important information.

Victoria Beckham was forced to give up her signature heels.

Ghostbusters 3 is apparently coming.

This probably made a bunch of teenage girls scream.

Jennifer Aniston is living with her new boyfriend.

Jessica Alba looks pretty good for just having a baby.

Sinead O'Connor still says strange things.

Sarah Jessica Parker is usually stylish, but I'd say these arms are a don't. This is also a don't.

September Movies

You know what I like about this time of year? Besides the fact that there are fewer 100 degree days, the movie options tend to get better. More of them want to be award contenders - and I like it! So, let's begin with what excites me.

The Debt

At first glance, I wasn't interested in this just by its title. Then, I watched the trailer a few times. That Helen Mirren - she's almost like a guy in that her age doesn't seem to matter. She can play just about any age and kick ass at the same time. LOVE her!

Apollo 18

My inner conspiracy theorist is intrigued by this. I will probably just add it to my Netflix queue (look, it's below 400 movies, so I can do that if I want to). Let me be clear: I do believe man landed on the moon, I'm just disappointed I can't vacation there.

Contagion

Oh, my. I will definitely see this in the daytime, while likely reapplying anti-bacterial gel to as much of myself as possible in the theater. Then, I will come home, shower and possibly refuse to leave my house ever again. PS - I'm seriously hoping this movie makes me excited about Matt Damon again. Hereafter and The Adjustment Bureau were a little disappointing.

Drive

Ryan Gosling? I'm in.

Straw Dogs

I'm not fully sure what happens here, but I'm curious enough to find out.

Moneyball

I probably won't love this, but I usually like a sports movie. And Jonah Hill.

50/50

If I'm feeling a bit sad and want a good cry with a side of giggle, this will be my pick.

Dream House

Ah. The movie where Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig fell in love. I'll see this at some point.

Here are the movies I won't see:

• Shark Night 3D - Um, hell no. I had to watch Shark Week programs during the day - and those are REAL shark stories. The idea of a fake shark movie in 3D makes me queasy.
• A Good Old Fashioned Orgy - This sounds like something I'd watch on cable. Late at night. When I can't find Point Break or The Town.
• Warrior - I don't even know what to think of this other than I'm not interested. 
• Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star - Ten seconds of the trailer made me think this was a direct to DVD movie. If it sits in theaters more than a month, I'd be impressed.
• I Don't Know How She Does It - If I have to see Sarah Jessica Parker as another lady who can't go through life without a meltdown, I might have a meltdown.
• Abduction - I am not a teenage girl, so I do not have to see every Taylor Lautner movie.
• Machine Gun Preacher - Is this movie for real?
• Killer Elite - I'm not convinced this isn't a video game.
• Dolphin Tale - Finally! Morgan Freeman isn't just giving words of wisdom to white people! He talks to dolphins!
• What's Your Number? - This seems like a sitcom that I wouldn't watch because I know it would be canceled in a couple of weeks.

How Do They Know?

It's no secret that I love my TV. But I had no idea the folks at Nielsen were paying attention to my blog until I got this in the mail.

At first, I was thinking that I work in the news business, so there's no way I'll be able to do this. Then, I opened the survey.

A few basic questions.

UGH. The dreaded age box!

And here's where my fun probably ends.

After checking the box that makes me confess to working in TV, I suppose I'm out. But I will keep the five crisp one dollar bills that came with the survey.

Week In Pop Culture

I don't love her music, but I love Taylor Swift's modesty.

I'm going to let you choose: Ivana Trump in a bikini.

Beyonce is very shiny in her new video.

Mariah Carey is turning her daughter into a mini-diva.

Charlize Theron (remember her?) wants a baby.

Minka Kelly and Derek Jeter split.

Hello, Rafael Nadal.

Rose McGowan's childhood was creepy.

Good news for Jaime Pressly: no jail time.

Hollywood's new obsession: Rashida Jones kissing Zooey Deschanel.

Here's some more DWTS casting news.

Rod Stewart has a Las Vegas show now.

Sean Penn has a new girlfriend.

Cameron Diaz has a stunt bump.

Whoopi Goldberg is doing some good.

I don't believe these rumors about a Rihanna sex tape.

If I have to pick sides, I'm Team Soderbergh.

Jim Carrey is still a little, um, different.

This divorce is not really shocking.

I don't think these Barbie dolls look like their namesakes.

Sara Gilbert and her partner have broken up. Her sister, Melissa, also filed for divorce.

Zoe Saldana is a little handsy while being interviewed by Chelsea Handler.

Farrah Fawcett's and Ryan O'Neal's son won't go to prison.

I can't wait to not read Flavor Flav's memoir.

This whole Glen Campbell thing makes me sad.

Christina Aguilera's son has a black eye, but it's not her fault.

Jason Bateman and his wife are having another baby.

Miley Cyrus is going to be an aunt.

Dude, Brad Pitt kinda looks like a bearded lady.

This engagement ring might be a little too much.

This will give Paris Hilton something to pout about.

Carrie Fisher has lost 50 pounds.

This magazine cover is kind of funny.

Some actor now has twin babies.

Only alcohol/drugs could make a girl think getting in a car with the Girls Gone Wild guy is a good idea.

I'm a little surprised by this Amy Winehouse news.

Kurt Kobain and Courtney Love's daughter looks like a movie star.

SERIOUS SHOCKER: Will and Jada Smith are separating. Or maybe not.

January Jones doesn't have to work hard to make me dislike her. I mean, she's beautiful on the outside, but I don't see much happening on the inside.

If you have a few million, you can buy Brad Pitt's old place.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are having another baby.

Megan Fox is getting rid of a tattoo.

Ryan Gosling is breaking up street fights now.

Here's why I think Will Arnett and Amy Poehler are adorable.

Octomom really needs to get an actual job.

E! has no sense of humor.

Kate Winslet's vacation home caught fire.

You see The Hoff. I see the fabulous trannies surrounding him. I wish I had their legs!

Benicio Del Toro has a baby girl.

What will that MDA telethon be without Jerry Lewis?

A rock couple has a new baby.

Here's a z-list Hollywood engagement.

A former Baywatch babe has a new baby.


The Middle is getting a little funny help.

Sarah Jessica Parker won't let Sex And The City die.

Rihanna is bendy.

Anne Hathaway says she can speak British.

Another Real Housewife is getting a real divorce.

Lindsay Lohan can't get movie work. I guess that's why she's doing this.

This feud made me hungry.

In case you were under a rock: Kim Kardashian got married. She also made a sickening amount of cash off the nuptials.

A country singer married her girlfriend.

Rest in peace, Nick Ashford.

And Jerry Leiber.

Also, Uncle Frank.

And Michael Showers.

Stop Messing With Texas!

CONFESSION: I am a reality TV junkie. This many not be news to all of you, but it's the truth. I'd swear on Rick Perry's hair that there isn't a reality show that I haven't at least watched 30 seconds of in the last few years. But I have to draw the line. The cable networks have gone too far.

When it was about California, I was all, "OOOH! Pretty blondes! Drama! Bad acting! So awful, I can't help but watch it!" I mean, how could you not snicker at these shows?

I could even count that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey marriage curser, which proved blondes may have more fun but they can't tell tuna from chicken. It's all brain candy. And pretty.

And then, the networks seemed to be all about New Jersey.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious - could they make New Jersey look more orange? Could they show me more fights? Can I really see more fake boobs on the East coast than the West coast? Are those dresses or shirts (PS - that's one of my favorite shopping games)? It almost made me want to take a vacation to New Jersey so I could count the stereotypes I had come to recognize from television.

HA! I thought. That's SO not Texas.

And then they came for us.

Big hair, I get. But these people (who appear to be rich, though we know in Texas there's a chance some of them might be thousandaires while giving the impression that they're millionaires) act just like the casts of the shows in California: bratty, whiny, self-absorbed and, well, any other word you could use to describe the jerks from the other shows.

So, I'd like to clarify a few things:

• If Texas ever seceded and became five different states, Dallas-Fort Worth would become its own state. Not since the fictional TV show, Dallas, has the metroplex had such an indulgent image that happens to come with cattle all around.
• Speaking of... We don't all own cattle. We don't all ride horses. In fact, a lot of us don't live on ranches. If you come to Texas and want to make people watching a drinking game, you should choose to drink every time you see us in a gas guzzler instead of on a farm animal. You will be hammered before you get to your hotel.
• You can really stretch a buck in Texas. If you're impressed by the houses here, know that you'd probably have to add a zero to the end of the price to make it comparable in California or New Jersey. Don't be fooled by that.
• We don't all intentionally have big hair. In my neck of Texas, we have humidity. If you are lucky to live in a humidity-free climate, enjoy the good hair days because it makes my hair grow like some creepy horror film character. I'd like my hair to behave, so I fight it's rebellion with a pony tail. It fights back when I sleep. To keep my hair from getting the upper hand, I refuse to take a picture of it. That's how the hair wins.

I will say there is a whole lot of drama in Texas - and a whole lot of curiosity about this great state. I understand why reality show producers are interested in showing that. But I'd like a little disclaimer on this and, to be fair, all reality shows that it does not entirely reflect the state/city - that it's just a glimpse into the lives these people chose to put on camera. After all, they've learned from California and New Jersey that fighting, cattiness and tears bring reality fame. 

That, y'all, is not what makes a Texan lovable. But it might make him/her a few bucks to blow on some tacky boots.