Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Come On, Fellas! Clean It UP!

I think it was a little unfair of me to single out ladies who look like soap is their enemy (unless it's coming at them from a stylist before a fancy event). So allow me to name some dudes who tend to look a little dirty when they're not walking the red carpet.

Young Zac. You're not quite old enough to know better, but here's a tip from this girl you've never met: wash the hair. And while you're at it, get a hair cut. You're a pretty boy, but that hair blocks those eyes. What are you hiding from? It's not like I'm coming after you!

Brad. This is a movie star - when he's working. Off the job, he looks like a dude you'd find sleeping in a book store. You know, the kind you'd smell before you'd see. I know it's tough being a man of the world with a dozen kids and one of the world's most beautiful women in tow, but dude, shower. Please. If I should ever be lucky enough to bump into him, I hope it's not on his off day!
Ignore the rockin' abs. Yes, the sand makes him dirty. But I'm looking past that. Perhaps it's the whole hippy vibe, but I have to think if Matt made a trip down to the south in the summer time, you'd know it. Not just because there'd be a gaggle of girls following his trailer. Points for always having sparkling white teeth. I'm thinking those get a good brushing a few times a day. Subtracting those points because I once heard him say he doesn't wear deodorant.
Rob. I know the wind is blowing his hair, but look at him. That's beyond bed head. It's hair that hasn't seen shampoo in weeks! That stubble makes it appear as if he's as afraid of razors as vampires are of garlic (cut me some slack - I can't remember what vampires are afraid of right now). Plus, I read in a tabloid once that he doesn't bathe. I believe everything I read. So there.
Why do I always get the feeling this guy is going commando? It's like he's waiting for a nanny to fall into or something. Anyway, looks dirty (and it's not because of the nanny thing). British, so quite possibly doesn't care for dental products. Have I made a case?

I could go on and on, but I won't. You've probably lost interest - or decided I'm mean. Like I care. All I'm saying is if I had their money I would smell as I do now: CLEAN. What's their excuse? Is it to keep the fans from clinging to them? Should have thought about that before you decided to make a good movie.
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