Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Unnecessary Christmas Song

I was running errands Saturday and didn't grab my iPod before I left home so I was forced to listen to the radio. Here are a few things I know:
  • Satellite radio is only slightly better than regular radio.
  • You hear the same songs replayed on satellite just like regular radio.
  • You hear songs that make you think maybe silence is a good thing.
Like this one:

Listen, I do love me some Lady GaGa. But I have to draw the line here.

First, it sounds like something a 6-year-old would put together with they keyboard from Santa she just unwrapped.

Second, what lyrics it has are just plain super GaGa. The one that made me go, "Did I just hear that correctly?" was "My Christmas tree is delicious." I'm think she is no more talking about an actual tree than Rihanna is talking about taking a trip with her when she suggests, "Hey boy I really wanna see if you can go downtown with a girl like me." If you don't know what that means, get to Googling. Or text me.

Third, just don't. I get that artists want in on the Christmas payday, but if you're going to write an original song, make it something that can be updated and is still fun - like this.

If you can't do that, then just butcher a traditional holiday song. Or don't sing at all. Because if you torture my ears with that "Christmas Tree" nonsense, I'm just going to wish bad things on you.

Until you come up with a better "Poker Face." Then can we be cool again. Lady GaGa.
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