Week in Pop Culture

In my next life, I want to either come back as the new Diddy or just have his cash.

Mariah Carey says she's not a diva (just don't pay attention to her behavior).

Look, I'm all for news anchors letting down their hair every now and then, but I thought it was understood that there should either be no photos or you shouldn't share them in a public place.

Apparently it's not Jennifer Aniston, but Barack Obama who may break up Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt.

Here's a tip: if you enter a movie theater and Katie Holmes is inside, leave immediately. See? You thought you only had to do that if she was on the screen!

Amy Winehouse either really likes Christmas or she's still having issues with drugs.

I have been encouraged to add more photos of people in bikinis. So here's one super tall model in a bikini.

Sudden fame isn't for everyone. Or maybe it's just not for people over 25.

It's possible the Hasselhoffs are cursed.

I really hope these two have not broken up. They're so cute!

Finally, this little video made my week!

I Love Turkey

I really do.

While I think the President's annual tradition of pardoning a turkey is cute (and a bit silly - I mean, it's not like they're not cooking up a couple of birds in the White House today - read the history of the pardon here), I have never felt the need to hug a turkey. Don't get me wrong, I'll hug a cow, then grab a burger. But turkeys, well, I think of them as mean birds that will peck you. And they're clearly not smart or else they'd find a way to fly the coop. It's best that I win this war.

It does shock me a bit to see that 46 million turkeys are slaughtered just for this big day. Wow. That's a lot of turkey. Before you get all PETA/vegetarian on me and start shouting that birds have feelings and I should respect that, I do. But turkeys are delicious. Can't give 'em up. They should be stronger and faster than people. Then, I'll consider not tossing one in the oven. Ads like this don't make me reconsider my position.

'Grace': PETA's Thanksgiving ad
It just makes me think kids spend too much time on the internet. Google = BAD.

Even though I'll spend my Thanksgiving at work, reheating turkey and the trimmings for my co-workers, I'll be thankful that I'm smarter than turkeys and have a higher place in the food chain. The only thing that could make turkey better is if we wrapped it in bacon. I know, I know. Pigs are smart. But if they were REALLY smart, they'd find a way to not be so tasty. Just like turkeys.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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I Love Free Stuff In The Mail!

Well, I love the surprise. I may not love what's in the package. Still, exciting to get something when you're not expecting it.

Imagine my surprise when I spotted this in the mailbox Monday.
At first, I'm thinking, "Could this really be a mixtape ... about a show ... in my mailbox?" Then, I opened it.
Ray Romano, Scott Bakula, Andre Braugher. In a glass. Their show, "Men of A Certain Age," with the tagline "Life is what you make it." Hmmm. First of all, I am not a man. I am not close to their age bracket. And of those three, Andre Braugher is the only one who's TV work I have admired (LOVED him on "Homicide"). Then, I take a look at the mini-cassette looking device.
I get excited - I absolutely love getting new music! So, I plugged it in to my laptop, hesitating for a second (I mean, it could be some sort of phishing tool or be loaded with a virus or something). Nope. I get a preview of the TNT show and three songs: "The Best of Times" by Styx, "Up Around The Bend" by Creedence Clearwater Revival, and "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake.

Now, if you know me at all (or have read my blog before), you know that I make snap judgments. So allow me to make one based on this little package and the previews I've seen.

Not. Good.

I hate writing those words with a project that has the talented Andre Braugher in it. I know that I am not their demographic. I mean, maybe if I were 15 years older (or more), I'd be all over this. Maybe if I were a dude, I'd have set my DVR to record this show. Maybe if they would have sent me a bigger playlist, then I'd think, "Who cares about the content of the show - I'm in it for the music!"

Nope.

Even though I'm running out of shows to watch, I can't do this one. But if any other network wants to send me gifts to try to sway me, I'm open to it.

So long as it doesn't involve Gosselins, MTV reality whores or anyone from that "Sex Rehab" show.

See? I do have some standards.

PS - if you want this little mix tape, let me know. I'll gladly pass it on!

Week in Pop Culture

Biggest news of the week: Oprah is calling it quits. Don't worry O fans, she'll be around until September 2011. Watch it and weep:


Nicole Kidman says it's motherhood, not implants, that made her boobs look like this. Hmm. They seem awfully orb-like to not be implants.

There's gonna be a "Scream 4." Yay.

Maybe Jennifer Aniston should stop making bad movies and become a bikini model?

Nate Berkus, Oprah's cutie-mccutie decorator pal, is getting a talk show.

It appears Courtney Cox is one cranky cougar. Nope. Still not watching that show.

Bob Saget has scored a show on A&E. If it's more like "Aristocrats" and less like that lame show he had on ABC, I might watch.

Hulk Hogan got clobbered at a press conference. Assault or gimmick? You decide.

Still not sure what I think about little Suri Cruise wearing heels.

Forbes does some serious journalism, identifying Hollywood's most overpaid stars.

Here's how Demi Moore looks skinny in magazines.

No photoshopping here: Heidi Klum (and other models) walks the runway just five weeks after having a baby - in lingerie.

Once again, Megan Fox is proving she doesn't need talent to get attention.

And, according to People, this is the year's "Sexiest Man Alive."
While I always look forward to seeing this issue in my mailbox each year, I don't know. I like Johnny Depp, but I'm pretty sure I could find one of the 109 guys in the magazine that is sexier (and perhaps a little more cleaned up - look, I can't help but be turned off by people who look like hygiene is not a priority).

GQ Men Of The Year

The magazine GQ has released its "Men of the Year" issue. I think they're mostly fine choices.

Comeback of the Year
Tom Brady. Hmm. I don't really follow football, but I can totally be on board with this guy being on the cover of a magazine. Look at him. He's pretty! I mean, not as pretty as that supermodel wife of his, but still, pretty. I do wonder if he has some clause in his contract that requires the offensive linemen to protect his face.

Badass of the Year
Of the YEAR?!? Come on! This guy is, like, baddest ass of all time! Do they get any tougher than Clint Eastwood? And not many guys can pull off all denim like this guy. I mean, would you say anything about that outfit to his face? Only if your whole goal in life is to get knocked out by an old man. Love him. He makes me want to smoke cigars and drink whiskey just so I can sound like him. It's true. If I win the lottery, that's the first thing I'm gonna do. Once I can scratch that off my list, I'll go to rehab and find ways to blow the rest of my cash.

Funnymen of the Year
"The Hangover." A movie so funny (and such a money maker), there was talk of a sequel before it was even out of theaters. Was anyone not funny in this movie? Questioning why they don't call roofies floories or rapies? Hilarious. I don't know many guys who don't talk about a wolf pack. Also, didn't know they gave out rings at the holocaust. I have to question why Mike Tyson didn't make the cover. He was so much funnier in this than in that "Tyson" documentary!

Leader of the Year
Yep. It's that guy. Barack Obama. In office nine months. Nobel Prize winner. Who else should they have chosen? Hamid Karzai? Mahmud Ahmadinejad? Shimon Peres? Kim Jong Il? Angela Merkel? Hugo Chavez? I mean, I could keep naming world leaders, but I don't really see any currently in office who qualify. I can think of a few former US Presidents who might be a little more worthy. Just saying, so many accolades before completing a first term might be a bit much.

Breakout of the Year
Not gonna lie. Chris Pine is one of two reasons I went to see "Star Trek." I would have totally supported this had he not reportedly hooked up with a reality TV star (um, know that I use the word "star" lightly as I refuse to put reality TV whores in the same category as actual movie/TV stars). I would rather choose that Taylor kid from "Twilight" who can't keep a shirt on. Plus, he's not hanging out with reality TV people. Double score. Maybe, I'd choose that kid from "The Middle" who whispers words. I know he's not a man, but I think he's one of my favorite new people in entertainment.

That's all I got. Who did I miss?

Week in Pop Culture

Just when I thought I had lost interest in anything Gwyneth Paltrow or Nicole Kidman had to do, they go and team up together. Oh, Gwynnie! You think playing Nicole's trannie wife is gonna hook me?

Dear Jane Fonda: You could be my grandma. I don't want to hear you talk about sex. Ever.

The paparazzi probably thought they had a good shot when Eva Mendes was spotted with the price tags still on her shoes. Then, she went all nipple on them.

Speaking of goodies, yet another celebrity has learned the hard way: don't take revealing pictures/video of yourself unless you're willing to share them with the world (or want to get tangled up in a lawsuit).

See! There is truth in advertising!

All the young girls who drool over Robert Pattinson should know this.

The Twitterer "Shit My Dad Says" will see his 140 character funnies on the small screen. And if you're on Twitter and not following this guy, you're missing out on a daily funny!

That Kathy Griffin dance show that was supposed to air on ABC is not gonna happen. I just can't believe there aren't some E & F list celebrities who couldn't use work these days.

I want to be Simon Cowell - or at least make as much money as he does (I'll do it for just one year - minus tight shirts that show off my nipples).

NBC is reformatting Jay Leno's show. Yeah. That's why people aren't watching.

I would totally care about Aerosmith breaking up - if we were in 1989.

If you want to feel better about yourself, check out these unflattering photos of Geena Davis.

I said it on twitter and I'll say it again here: if you get in Mike Tyson's personal space, you deserve to get punched.

Please ABC, don't re-do "Charlie's Angels." Just stick with what you've got! It's mostly good!

Megan Fox still isn't convincing me that she's not crazy.

Finally, congratulations to young Taylor Swift - who had the best week ever! She was really funny on SNL (people talked about her monologue, but this was my favorite moment) and then she took the top prize at the CMA Awards! Just hope she didn't catch Wynonna Judd's comments.

What Do The Brits Know About Movies, Anyway?

So, I'm looking at the London Times online and see they've compiled a list of "The 100 Best Movies of the Decade." I love lists like this! It's why my Netflix queue is full of more than 300 movies (look, I'm curious and hopeful that I'll either win the lottery or get mono so I can have time off to watch all of them).

Then, I start looking at the list. I'm thinking the Brits always act like they're more civilized than us Americans. Surely they'll have some fantastic films on the list! And within a few movies, I was disappointed. Some of the films on the list:

11. Borat
49. Knocked Up
54. Bad Santa
62. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
89. School of Rock
90. Wedding Crashers

Yes. Those movies are funny. They're silly. But the BEST films of the decade? Really??? Consider the top 10:

1. Hidden
2. The Bourne Supremacy/The Bourne Ultimatum
3. No Country For Old Men
4. Grizzly Man
5. Team America: World Police (?)
6. Slumdog Millionaire
7. The Last King of Scotland
8. Casino Royale
9. The Queen
10. Hunger

I'm totally on board with that list (minus "Team America"). There were many fine films that made the cut. But I have to wonder who put this list together? Was it a group of old fuddy-duddies and some teenagers? Don't get me wrong. I love a silly movie here and there. But I also appreciate a movie that tells a real story, one that makes me think or takes me out of my comfort zone. I don't mind subtitles.

But from here on out, I'm not taking the Brits advice on what's good/bad. Unless they send me chocolate. Then I'll think about listening to them again. Until then, stay on your side of the pond and enjoy all the Jack Black you can handle.

Week in Pop Culture

I don't really care that much, but I have set my DVR for tonight to record the Rihanna interview. I'm wondering what was worse: the whole Chris Brown thing or the promos?

I am officially convinced Gerard Butler will make out with anything with lips.

You know that reboot of a show Jessica Simpson's sister was on? She thinks it's crap.

JS also bonded over boobs with Dolly.

Forget her big behind - what the heck is going on with Kim Kardashian's boobs?

In case you missed 'em, here are some other "famous" folk in their costumes.

Kate Hudson lost 20 pounds for a movie. Hmmm. Good for her. She was SO fat before that movie.

So, Kirstie Alley's using her weight issue to get a reality show. Unless she's shoveling HoHos in her mouth by the dozen, I'm not interested. OK. Maybe I am just a little.

If I decide to have work done on my face, I want Cher's doctor to do it.

There's no disputing Leona Lewis can sing.Remembering lyrics, well...

I'm thinking I need to become slightly famous and develop a drug/alcohol habit.

Kathy Griffin is bringing her snark to ABC this month for yet ANOTHER dance show.

I don't know who this lady is, but she's apparently famous in London - and now I'm wondering what she was thinking when she left home to go out to an event.

Steve Martin & Alec Baldwin are hosting the Oscars.

There are no new ideas in Hollywood. Here's proof.

Oh, People Magazine! It's so cute how you pay tribute to dudes who don't like to wear shirts!

So, let me get this straight. It's OK to enter a beauty pageant with the boobs the contest bought you, speak out against gay marriage and make a sex tape? America - what a country!

What lengths are tabloids willing to go to to prove Josh Duhamel cheated on Fergie with a stripper? Polygraph.

Brad Pitt might be a pirate.

Oh, COME ON, Australia! No one pays good money for a Britney Spears concert expecting her to sing live.

Jeremy Piven sprouted manboobs.

And speaking of manboobs...
Try getting that out of your head.

Facebook, You're On My Nerves

Facebook, you're a fine place to connect with friends. However, some of your recent behavior is, well, creepy.

I've decided to show some photos (dark and a little blurry on purpose) to illustrate some of my complaints.
Reconnect With Someone
At first, this sounds like a nice thing. I'm thinking, "Wow, Facebook, how did you know it had been a while since I have exchanged messages with this person?" Then, I click on the person's name and realized you're trying to make me get this person to be active here. Every single time I've checked out this whole "reconnection" thing, it's been someone who hasn't updated a status/sent a message in months. Why is it my job to remind people they have a Facebook account and that they might want to let their friends know they haven't dropped off the planet?
Making Users "Active"
Facebook, sometimes I think you're that desperate girl at the bar. You know the one, tipsy and looking for any guy standing by himself so she can convince him to take her home (or at least make out with her in the parking lot). Really? You want me to make someone more active here? Um, not everyone spends hours logged in. And some people are just here because they've been sent so many invites they decided to join just to shut people up. And there are those who are just here to make minimal contact with people. What's wrong with that? I'm not always a people person. I don't always want to talk to people. So if someone only logs into FB every few days/weeks/months, back off. Let them come to you. Don't force their friends to get them liquored up and chatting with people they hardly know online. That's just dangerous.
People To Friend
Wow. This is just weird. I mean, sure, I know some of these people. I even used to know some of them. I have no problem friending the people I actually know. But, Facebook, just because I might have a friend or two in common with these people, it doesn't mean I actually want to be friends with them here or in the real world. Plus, this makes me wonder if these people have seen me as a recommended friend and either a) blocked me or b) ignored me. If you see yourself here (and I really tried to blur these images, I'm just not that good with PhotoShop), know that I'm giving real thought into adding you as a friend. Aren't you thinking the same?
So and So Are Now Friends
Oh, really, Facebook? How do YOU know that? Just because someone accepts a friend request here that doesn't mean that they are just now friends! You really have some nerve! Maybe we've been friends in the real world for a long time, it's just that one of us finally got around to joining your little club and have connected here. Did you ever think about THAT?!?

Other peeves:

• Like. I like things. I also dislike things. Why isn't that an option?
• Ads. I have NEVER seen a web ad and thought, "I have to get some of that." So how about you stop putting those singles ads on my page? I have no interest in meeting someone who lifted a model's picture off the web and posted it as his own. Also, those weight loss ads are creepy. I do not believe the person in the before picture is the one in the after - unless you've found someone better at altering photos than yours truly.
• Live vs. News Feed. What the hell is this? Why can't you make up your mind? You either want to be like Twitter or you don't. Your inability to pick a side and stick with it is a turn off.
• Games. I do not want to play Farmville, Mafia Wars or any other game here. I am happy that FB is giving me the option to hide these requests. But, seriously, knock it off. I'm talking to you people who keep sending those requests.

Now, I know some of you are probably annoyed by my sometimes frequent updates, which come via Twitter. You can hide me. I won't know. But the truth is, I'm too lazy to update both Twitter & FB. Besides, I'm not really that interesting, so it's just easier for me to make one post and have it publish in two places (well, three if you count my blog).

So, there you have it, FB. I like you, but I don't like you like you. I am happy that I can share my photos and random life updates here. I love that I can hide status updates of people that I might ordinarily just unfriend (you know, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings - don't say a word). I also like that I can snoop around and see what friends - and friends of friends - are doing with ease.

But stop with the creepiness. You reek of desperation. It's not cute.

XOXO,
Nicole

If That Basketball Thing Doesn't Work Out...

Manu could go into exterminating.

Now, someone get him tested for rabies!