Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Thing About Mullets

I like spotting mullets. I really do. It's not that I want the hairstyle on my head, but when I see one, it can be the highlight of my day. Yes, I realize that is a sad statement - but it's TRUE. It is more than a statement piece. The mullet is the most obvious way to show how you really feel about life.

Oh, this guy.

Everything about him says, "VACATION!"

Looks like he had his mullet touched up before he left home. The party part is all pretty and blown out!

The bag (on which the only word I can fully make out is "equipment") appears to be packed with giveaway posters. 

Cell phone on the pocket and camera around the neck - this guy is ready for anything.

Last, but not least, the jorts and the t-shirt with the rolled up sleeves. I'm going to say single. Not many ladies would let their fellas get away with that look.

This kid.

I think we all probably knew someone like him. You know, the "Stop calling me Four Eyes!" guy. 

Clearly, he thought if he grew the mullet his hair would become the focus of a bully's attention - not the nerdy glasses.

I'm also guessing, based on this guy's grin that there's a good chance he's wearing braces or he needs them. 

It's also possible he rocks the mullet because he's having a hard time growing facial hair. Seriously, look at that upper lip. It's like he's willing the hair to grow as free as the hair on the back of his head. 

On second thought, maybe he's just growing the mullet so it can be long enough to wrap around his face.

I would call this the "working man's mullet," but I'm having a hard time believing this guy has a job - besides posing as a mullet model.

This guy makes hard-working mullet wearers look bad. The hair on his head is better groomed than the hair on his body.

Plus, the whole "stick hanging out of the mouth" and more than one ring on a hand appears to be a redneck pimp thing. Not cute, mister.

Don't think I haven't noticed the beat up pickup. You, sir, are a horrible stereotype. Shame on you!

These are also shameful:


While I love these mullets and I do admire the effort it takes to commit to this high maintenance hairstyle (the frequent trims, the blowouts, the styling), I say don't decide to enter into the mullet without thinking things through. Photos live forever. 

And once they hit the Internet, they never die. 
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