Friday, September 5, 2008

Cultural Constipation

That's what I read about in the current Entertainment Weekly (Brenda & Kelly on the cover - YAY!).

So what is it?

If you have a DVR of any sort, you likely have experienced this. It's when you wind up with hours of shows and you keep skipping over them, or just letting them mock you every time you check the recordings and see them sitting there, daring you to watch.

However, it doesn't just apply to that electronic device. Do you subscribe to a service like Netflix? I once had a movie at home for more than four months. I'm the dream subscriber - I'll keep a movie until I feel like watching it. Movies, like TV shows, have to impress me or I'll press delete/eject and be done with them.

I have the same problem with books. My nightstand looks like a miniature library. Between the books (some of which I bought even AFTER I told myself I wasn't allowed to buy books until I finish what I have) and the magazines, I'm always reading something.

So what's the cure for cultural constipation? More fiber? More days in the week? A sugar daddy whose money would allow me to quit my job and devote 8-hours a day to getting some (pop) culture?

I see my Netflix queue, all 447 movies ready to be shipped, and I don't see it as ridiculous. I like to think I'm a good case of mono away from putting a dent in that list. If I win the lottery, I can watch movies all day for weeks with a house full of servants catering to my every need.

It's a dream, people. I have stuff to do. My furkids make messes. They need attention and walks. I have to sleep, though I'm not quite tired at this crazy hour. I have to work (how else am I to keep the kids fed and entertained?). Some day, I will get it all done. And then I will die. Happily.

So, God - or whomever has that power - don't come for me until I've done everything and I'll try to do something nice, like not maybe go a whole day without making a threat to someone (especially hard if I have to drive to work, but I'll at least try).
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