July Movies

Remember when July 4th weekend used to have a big, explosive blockbuster? Well, sadly, there aren't a whole lot of those that make me want to drop everything and run to the theater. In fact, just two movies interest me this month.

Now, I don't expect this to be a great movie, but I expect it to be light and sweet. I think Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts are the two nicest people in movies (not speaking from personal experience as Tom Hanks doesn't even follow me back on Twitter), so I'll watch them any time they make a movie. Plus, I'm kind of hoping they'll make good for that Charlie Wilson's War.


What is WRONG with me? Of all the movies out this month, I'm interested in not one but TWO rom-coms? Totally unlike me! There's something about this trailer that makes me think this won't be half bad (and that I just might hate myself for sitting through the half of the movie that makes me roll my eyes and shout, "STOP DOING THAT!" at the characters - PS: theaters and strangers do not like when you do that).

I'll explain why I'm skipping some of the other movies out this month.

• Transformers 3 - I am not a 13-year-old boy, nor am I the parent of one, so I have no real reason to run to the theater for this. Also, until I live in a world where large metal objects become robots, I will pass on movies like this.
• Zookeeper - Now that I know Paul Blart was only working as a mall cop to put his way through zookeeper school, I almost feel ripped off. It's not that I saw the mall cop movie (I chose the other mall cop movie with Seth Rogen instead), but I really don't like movies where the pitch names the successful (read profitable) movies made by the director/producer/actor/actress/studio as a way of appealing to moviegoers. How about you just sell the story - not your previous work? Makes me think there's not really anything in this movie worth seeing. You tell me otherwise - then buy me a ticket because that's the only way I'm seeing this movie.
• Horrible Bosses - Look, I kind of like that this movie is kind of a remake of 9 to 5 (which I LOVE). I like the guys in this movie. However, I don't understand why Hollywood keeps trying to make me see Jenifer Aniston as funny? She's gorgeous - I'm not knocking her for that. But even when she was on Friends, I found her jokes to be predictable and punny - totally not my thing. I might check this out on Netflix. Maybe. 
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 - Those of you who know me understand this. Those of you who don't should know that I have never seen/read anything Potter. 
• Captain America - It takes more than a cute guy in tights to get me to the theater.
• Friends With Benefits - I like Justin Timberlake on SNL, but with the exception of Social Network, I have not really liked him in movies. I've tried. Really. Also, Mila Kunis is adorable, but she has meth voice. Drives me crazy (short drive, I know). I'll watch this at home where disappointment doesn't surprise my dog and cat. Plus, they're used to me shouting at the TV. They hardly flinch.
• The Smurfs - If this movie was released 20 years ago, I would have promised my mom I'd never ask for anything again if she'd take me. Instead, I'm old and kidless (call me a spinster and I will junk shot you) and not the least bit curious about this - except for the scenes with Neil Patrick Harris. So, I'll wait for this to be played ad nauseum on HBO.

Feel free to share your reviews/predictions in the comments. Or not - because I know a lot of you are lurkers and don't comment. Creeps.