Too Close To Home

This is my cat.

He looks cute and sweet, but there are a few things you should know about him:

1. He only looks like that when he's sleepy.
2. He likes to stare at me while I sleep (creepy).
3. He has taken to sleeping next to me on my bed.
4. He snores. He snores so loud, he wakes me up.

Side note: Yes, I would like the cat to sleep some place else. Have you ever tried denying a cat something. The crying. The scratching. It does not make for a good night's sleep. I've tried. He bangs on the door when I ignore the crying and scratching. I think he throws his whole self against the door.

Maybe it's the last two things that have started messing with my dreams (I know they're part of the reason I haven't been sleeping well). But the other night, I dreamed that I was running from something in a large litter box. It was like some awful version of Fear Factor - smelly, gross and no matter how much I whined the dream would not end.

Then, I spotted this in a magazine.

Look at those clumps - which I presume are poopies! They're bigger than the cat! It's like my dream came true. Of all the dreams I've had, this is not the one I want to see in a movie! Why couldn't it be the one where George Clooney takes me for a ride on his motorcycle? Or the one where I have ninja powers? Or the one where I eat nothing but cake and never feel sick?

NOOOOO.

It has to be the larger than life litter box and poop. 

BTW, Scoop Away. This does not make me want to buy your litter. Ever.