Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I See Strange Things

I've stumbled into a few more oddities. Some you may think you need - but I promise you really don't. So let's take a look at what I've found.

Lady Gaga Paper Doll
Don't get me wrong, I love me some Lady Gaga. Really. I do. And while, like Gaga, I want you to be as free as your hair, this paper doll kit will not put you on the "Edge of Glory." It may very well get you a trip to a mental hospital. Wait. Let me think about that. Quiet time at a place where you don't have to do chores? Sounds like a good vacation.

This may be fine for adults. For kids? I would really worry about a paper doll kit that comes with a pancake bra and bacon and egg panty. I have no beef with the Etch-a-Sketch panty, though I think it might not be accurate (or maybe it looks that way to be a little more discreet?).

Now, if someone can tell me where I can get a dog top like the one in this sketch, I may have some shopping to do!

Now, of all the silly things to do with stretchy fabric that looks like denim wear, this takes the panties. And I just realized I've talked about panties twice in this post. To my friends who don't like the word "panties," I half-heartedly apologize.

I am not convinced pajama jeans are a good idea. But seeing what happened when the ladies at Jezebel tried these junderpants, I am convinced these are a horrible idea. This shows how this normal-sized lady can't get crack-less coverage in these things. And look at how they fit! Could they make the butt look less cute? Don't ladies. Just don't.

Solar-Powered Bikini
Look. I love that more people are taking advantage of the sun. I would completely go solar at my house if someone gave me $20,000. But as much as I hate it when my iPod's battery goes kaput (listening to the radio is almost like waterboarding - without the wet), I would not dare risk a sunburn just to keep listening to my tunes or playing Words With Friends.

Don't even think of taking this in the pool. It's probably not meant for that or beach trips. And it looks hot. Not like "sexy" hot, but "my God, am I having a heat stroke" hot.

Also, by the looks of this bikini, you need to have  your breasts inflated. Hidden cost the iKini people aren't telling you. I am. You're welcome.

People Popsicles
Let's get one thing straight: I LOVE POPSICLES!

Heck, I'm even a bit intrigued by the flavor of this one.

But the idea of eating a popsicle with a face is super creepy. I have no desire to lick an actual person's face, let alone one that comes from a mold of either a real person or a movie/animated creature. Click the link in the title to see more of the shapes. Can you imagine sucking on a Marilyn Monroe popsicle? If your answer is yes, please don't tell me/post pictures/make a youtube video of it. And if you know me, please keep it to yourself forever or we can't be friends anymore. The flavors this company has sound amazing and from the looks of the photos, these things are huge! Unless they come in normal shapes, I can't do it. Not unless they're heavy on the vodka, light on the cranberry and I pass out at the end.

For more don'ts, click here.
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