We Are A Big Mess

So, my dear friend Denise broke her ankle killing a spider (that's the short version - and, YES, I did tell her she shouldn't kill Charlotte). Finally, I get a picture of her in her wheelchair.
She's a good sport, so I'm hoping she doesn't make me take this down. I LOVE IT! She actually wears that headband EVERY day. Because she's a tiger. GRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I was telling her this afternoon we will be quite the spinster pair in the nursing home. We plan to find one that serves booze daily. We'll allot time to note our ailments, perhaps do some knitting, have someone push us around the grounds, then wheel our happy behinds into happy hour!

Why I Hate Going To The Doctor

I went to the doctor Wednesday. For the last six weeks I haven't been feeling well - not bad, just not well. After some uncomfortable (and one VERY painful) tests, I filled a few vials of blood, went to work and had a flu shot. And now, I wait.

I have to have an ultrasound next week (for the record, I am NOT pregnant). I'm a little nervous about having to show up with a full bladder. I mean, how long can I hold all that water without peeing my pants?

I'll admit, it's a little nerve wracking to have a doctor say, "Your problems might be thyroid-related, but it could be ovarian cancer." Now, I firmly believe in thinking the worst so that if it's not true I can be relieved. But, seriously, I just want to know. NOW.

I would think that if my blood tests turned up something really scary, I'd get a call before I go back to the doctor in a week and a half. But it's the not knowing that is making me crazy. It's weird that I'm a little on edge now, since I've been waiting more than a month just to see the doctor. Forgive me if I'm a little cranky, tired or spaced out. I'm having a bit of a hard time concentrating these days. I'm also incredibly tired. So if you call and wake me up, don't worry. I'll fall back asleep (unless I have to race off to work - sadly, no naps there).

I'll keep you posted and try to keep my Debbie Downer posts to a minimum. Until then, how about a little Debbie Downer?

A Little Simpson's Love

OK - I'm Voting!

I don't know who sent me this (really, it came from someone named Sabrina - I don't know any Sabrinas). But I am voting before work today. So don't blame me if this happens!

This Scares Me

This baby is adorable, but the picture is disturbing. If you want me to stop eating meat, start putting out more pictures like this. I'm creeped out by it.

If you want to see some other kid costumes, including some that are heavy on the cute and light on the creep factors, click here.

Must See TV!

OK, now that the second season of "Mad Men" is complete, sigh, I have to say I hate to see it go! Yes, I have plenty of other television to watch, but this is one show that I will watch over and over again. And not just because of Jon Hamm.I mean, he's handsome (or hammsome, if you will). But there is not one person on this show who is not fantastic! If you have not watched this show, you are missing out on one fine hour of television. It really is one of the best shows on TV right now. If they don't rerun the show from its beginning (and it's AMC, so I besides reruns of old movies, I don't know what else they would do), get to a rental store or go online and watch it! You will not be disappointed!

Last night's finale was fantastic! I hate that I have to wait until next year to find out what happens next! If you saw it, let's discuss in the comments section.

NiQuirky

Julie challenged people (i.e., her friends who blog) to share six quirks about themselves. Because I read it, I tried to come up with mine, but realized it was more like my big flaws (being too honest - which could be rude; lack of patience; constant need to make threats to people). I decided not to go into great detail.

So, I'm letting you people name my quirks in the comments section. Don't be hateful. Be honest. And you can't just name one. You MUST give an example.

See? I'm bossy.

Oh, LOST, Why Do You Taunt Me???

Cool Pumpkins!

Isn't that cool? It's so detailed - I don't have the talent or patience to do something like that! Because my pumpkin would be carved with the most basic of holes, I'd like you to go here to see some spectacular gourds in the Halloween spirit!

It's Your Lucky Day!

Not one, not two, but THREE posts from me today!

Watch Gina Gershon do Sarah Palin (don't be dirty). Enjoy! :)

See more Gina Gershon videos at Funny or Die

My Fall TV Lineup UPDATE

I have cut some shows out of my life. Not just because I have too much on my DVR, but because, let's face it, some shows just aren't good. If you want to see what I planned to watch, go here.

Here's what I'm not watching:

• Eli Stone - I was on the fence about this after last season. I didn't make it through the first episode. I kept sighing and rolling my eyes at it. Buh-bye.
  
• Kath & Kim - This is like a SNL skit that goes on way too long (don't they do that with most skits these days?). I'm sure the original version was fun. This one, not so much. Gone.
• Crusoe - I never started this. I figured even though the show has a limited run, each episode is an hour long and I just didn't want to get into it. If it's any good, they'll re-run it later. I can catch it then. Otherwise, I figure it's not that big of a loss.
• The Ex List - Another show that didn't get any of my time. I never bothered to add it to my list of shows to record. Not hearing a lot of buzz about it, so I figure I'm not missing anything.

I'm still on the fence about Pushing Daisies. Just when I think I'll quit it, it makes me laugh (Sister Christian? Motoring? Come on! That was funny!). I'm also putting Dirty Sexy Money and Lipstick Jungle on notice. I kind of wish I would have quit one of those shows so I could record The Mentalist. I saw the first episode and liked it, but now I can't record it because of the last two shows.

New shows I'm loving:

• True Blood - Yes, it's like vampire porn some weeks, but it's so well done!
• My Own Worst Enemy - Christian Slater in a role very much like Jason Bourne? Yes, please!
• 90210 - Guilty pleasure! And I'm hoping Dylan will come back!
• Fringe - Yes, the idea of taking a dude out of the looney bin to go to some secret lab at Harvard to figure out what "The Pattern" is all about is far fetched - especially when he says things like "I wet my pants." Still, I'm intrigued by these wild experiments!
• Life on Mars - It's cool. I'm not sure if this guy is in a coma or if he has traveled in time, but I'm sticking by it to find out!

So what are you watching? Let me know in the comments!

Charley's a Wiener - AND a Winner!

Last weekend, the rescue group where I found Charley (Diamond Dachshund Rescue of Texas) had its adopter's reunion. I call it "Wienerpalooza." There are wiener dogs everywhere and they are all sizes and colors! They do a costume contest, give out free hot dogs (of the eating kind - the real hot dogs are not free). We took Charley's friend, Lucy the Beagle, with us. She's the big dog at the park! But with all that, my favorite part is the races!

Last year, Charley was entered and he didn't finish. He took a couple of steps, then turned and went far, far away from all the action. This year, I had a strategy. I took a squeaky tennis ball. I put some of Charley's favorite treats in a bag. Then, with mom holding him at the starting line, I walked down towards him, squeaking the ball. To make sure I had his attention, I let him smell the treats. Then, he was trying to get them. I walked backwards, squeaking the ball and shaking the treat bag at him. Then, they said, "GO!" and my mom gave him a good launch. I called his name, squeaked the ball and waved the treat bag. Then, he crossed the finish line!
He placed second - the dog to my right crossed before Charley. I was very proud of him! He got his special treats and we all piled into the car and went home. I told Charley that next year, he'll win! Or else...

L'il O'Reilly

A little politcal-esque humor. This kid's loud, so mind your speakers if you're at work. Enjoy!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

You can also watch another L'il O'Reilly clip here.

OOOH! Can't Wait

Twilight

Extreme Closeup

If you know me, or have read this blog before, you know I'm not a fan of Governor Sarah Palin. I'm not gonna lie - she scares the bejeezus out of me! What was even scarier was this magazine cover in my mailbox the other day.
I was put off by the stray hairs in her eyebrows and slight mustache. She is a pretty woman. What was the purpose of such a closeup???

They gave Hillary the same treatment (no touch-up) only hers was not as close as Palin's. And I'm pretty sure the guys don't get any photoshop help. But honestly, this is just plain disrespectful. If I'm ever on the cover of a magazine (perish the thought kind readers), I expect, no I DEMAND some retouching! I think we've all gotten used to the softer images on the newstands. Yes, I know Newsweek is a news magazine, not exactly like the other glossies I get each week or month. But I hope to never see anyone - especially a politician - look like this on the cover of any magazine. They're all a little harsh around the edges. I just don't want to see it.

While You're Freaking Out About Your 401k

See how the folks who took AIG into the dump reacted to the $85 BILLION check the government (i.e., ME AND YOU) wrote them.
I want a refund. Or a trip to the St. Regis. JERKS.

Let's Get Political, Political

I want to get political. Let me hear your campaigns talk.

Sorry, that's the best I can do with "Physical."

When I read this quote this morning, I flicked my monitor.

Cindy McCain said today that she expects her husband to clear the record at tonight’s debate and let America know where he truly stands.

McCain, who stopped to visit a half-dozen children at the Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital at Vanderbilt today, said the presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama has "waged the dirtiest campaign in American history,” and her husband Sen. John McCain will use tonight’s debate to correct the distortions.

The only thing John McCain did well last night was keep his temper in check. I did not like that both candidates did more of the same - oh, and manage to get their facts wrong. Remember change? Remember reform? They need to change and reform their tactics in next week's debate.

First of all, BOTH campaigns are (at best) waist-deep in mud. It's like both parties are just throwing a whole bunch of mud to see what sticks. I know plenty of people who believe whatever they hear - either from the candidate or from a political ad. Unlike yours truly, they don't check these things out to find out what's true. This really makes my blood boil!

Second, for a guy who calls himself a "Maverick," why is he letting his wife fight his battles for him? Shouldn't she just stick to the issues herself? Instead of throwing mud from her perfectly manicured nails, shouldn't Cindy McCain be careful not to get her 5-figure suit dirty? COME ON!

Take a look at some of the facts. This site lists the lies that keep making the rounds. There's no spin on this site, which looks at both sides. The Washington Post puts all things political to the Pinocchio test. If that's "too liberal" for you, the Washington Times does it, too.

I really hope the candidates (and their people) will stop this nonsense in these last weeks before Election Day. I want them to address the issues - like the economy. I am more afraid of my 401k shrinking than al Qaeda. Besides, if we don't have a solid economy, the terrorists win - they will surely take credit for crippling America. You know there's not a single politician out there who will take full blame for leading us to a recession.

AAAHH. I feel better.

My Furkids Getting Cozy

Charley usually stays as far away from Chaplin as possible. But if he lays down and Chaplin comes his way, Charley will stay put - until attacked. Since my Mom asked (or demanded) I update a picture of the kids, I decided to post these taken late this afternoon. They were sleeping before they heard me turn the camera on. Look at how close they are! I cannot how big Chaplin is at just 5 months old. He has more growing to do!

Newsrooms Are FILTHY!

I'm working today - Saturday. I produced the 6pm show (which went on late because of a lame college football game). After that, I moved to the assignments desk.

If you're not familiar with it, it's where all the action happens.

Kind of.

It has 16 noisy scanners - sometimes beeping and talking at the same time. There are two telephones. There are five televisions. I have turned things down as much as I can, but it's still pretty rowdy on a Saturday night in San Antonio.

But back to the title of this post. I have wiped this area down with not one but TWO disinfectant wipes. Despite my repeated swabbings, I cannot get the keyboard clean. Take a look:

It's beyond dust bunnies. That stuff is not going anywhere. It's gooey. I'm sure there are remnants from many a breakfast taco or burger - or whatever else these desk dudes gobble down while slamming phones and sending crews all over town. And this keyboard is old, yo. I feel like I have to pound on the keys to get it to type. It's like whatever's living under the keys is fighting my every keystroke.

I'm grossed out and counting down the hours until I can get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks out of here.

Too Much TV? BAH!

Since a couple of you voiced concern about my crazy long list of TV shows I plan to watch, I decided to consult one of my favorite pop culture bloggers. Well, imagine my surprise to find this on USA Today's site today:

I recently posted a ridiculously long list of TV shows I'll be watching this fall -- on my DVR as I work at night. I have received much criticism, as my friends know I also subscribe to Netflix. My question is this: How do you deal with people who think you're wasting your life by relaxing in front of the tube?

You should know that I do walk my dog every day. I also find time to read books and magazines. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, but some people think I just sit glued to my TV and laptop when I'm not at work. Should I just ignore them? Or should I try to convert them? -- Nicole Perez

Well, I'm lucky, because I can hide behind the fact that it's part of my job to watch television every night.

But really, I'm betting several people who criticized you also watch a lot of TV. The difference is, they've never sat down and mapped out just how much time they spend doing it. In any case, if it makes you happy, why feel bad about it? Like you said, you have a job while you can watch while you work. You do other stuff with your life besides sit in front of the tube. And I'm guessing you have lots to talk about at dinner parties. Enjoy the fall season, though don't be afraid to drop a show or two if they start to bore you -- I'm already doing that myself!

See? What's the harm? I do actually leave my house for more than work. I socialize when I feel like it. I'm not a shut-in.

Oh - and I have dropped one show so far (it wasn't on the list, but I added it to the DVR lineup out of curiosity). Worst Week was more like "worst half hour of television I've seen in a long time." So there. I can quit some shows. Now, some of those that made my list have not come out yet, so I'm sure I'll drop some more.

Just consider me the gal to ask about what to watch on TV. There's a good chance I've seen it, read about it or dismissed it before it airs.

And to all you Candy readers who have come to my blog, thanks for stopping by. While you're here, tell me what you watch on the tube!

Oh, So Wrong

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Now, I know I make Charley put on a costume every Halloween, but he is not THIS tolerant. He usually wiggles and shakes his way out of the costume in seconds. I feel sorry for these pups.

But they're SOOOOO cute!

What's Wrong With This?

It's Fashion Week in Paris and those are the looks from Balenciaga. Now, I've peeked at some of the other pieces coming down the runway and I have to say, if that's how Spring looks, I hope we have four more weeks of Winter.

It's all so harsh - from the makeup and hair to the subtle use of sequins to try to soften the clothes. And then there's the issue of the models...

These girls look hungry. It's in their eyes. Look at the rest of them. They're BEGGING for a hamburger!

If the whole package is meant for us to ooh and aah and anticipate all of this coming to the stores, then I'm either a) out of touch, b) delusional or c) a much better judge of mental health than I thought.

We'll see if the girls start dressing like that soon. Fingers crossed it doesn't work out that way. Perhaps this blog will come back to haunt me in six months...