Sunday, April 4, 2010

Fun With Photoshop

I have very limited Photoshop skills. So when I saw this in Glamour magazine, I was super jealous.
It took me a few minutes to spot the changes made to some of these people. So let me show you the individual pictures.

When I first looked at this image, I was instantly drawn to the Angelina tattoo on Jenifer Aniston's well-sculpted arm.

I cannot imagine there ever being a time that she would a) get a tattoo where everyone could see it or b) would want one even remotely similar to her ex's new lover.

I think Jen is a girl who loves to be in love. I don't think she's sitting around wishing to be Angelina. The only person I think wants to be Angelina is Megan Fox. Don't think she's not trying to be her. As soon as she stops the incessant crazy talk, she just might stand a chance.

Confession: I do not exactly know who this Justin Bieber kid is. But I'm familiar with his hair. Oh, and Zac Efron's hair is also on my radar.

Why?

Not because I think it's cute. It's totally annoying!

Do teenage girls really swoon at stinky teenage boys who have hair in their eyes (and it's probably sweaty hair, too - hold on, I'm gonna go throw up)? It just looks dirty. And high maintenance. I'd like to think this is why The President (if he sees this photo) will not get any ideas about a makeover. Keep it short. A shaggy world leader will not impress anyone - even Scooby Doo.

I would ♥ to meet The Queen! The real Queen - though I'd definitely settle for Helen Mirren.

But if these two douchebags get to meet HRH before me, I just might move to Canada. Or report them to TSA as people who smuggle cocaine in hidden places. They fly commercial, right? I mean, Heidi had to have blown every penny of her reality TV earnings on new boobs and that 40-something face, right?

And Spencer? I would totally not put it past him to be practicing his own Photoshop skills so he could say things like this really happen to him and his "wife." That's right. I do not for one second believe these fame whores are legitimately married. As soon as the cameras go away, they're splitsville. You heard it here first, kids.

This one threw me for a minute. I was like, "Definitely not her hair. Looks like those cheap extensions she peddles with her gayfriend."

Then I was all, "Shiny dress? She'd so wear that. It makes people look at her and think, 'Buffalo don't have wings!'" (That sound you heard was me being disgusted with myself for watching that "Newlyweds" show and being able to quote it even though it hasn't been on TV for years)

Then, I realized what was faked in this photo: Boobs McGee is flat chested! I am certain that if Jessica Simpson's creepy dad saw this, he would cry real tears. But you know what? This is the best photo in the bunch. Jessica actually looks better without those ginormous (um, natural?) breasts. Jessica, if you're reading this, please consider a reduction. I think it would do wonders for your non-designer career (Oh, and send me some of your bags - I think they're kinda cute)!

If you know me even just a little, you know I'm, well, gaga for GaGa. Seeing her with that eye contraption (no way that's just make-up) with her super-blonde hair on Hillary Clinton's body - well, that's all kinds of crazy!

I mean, Hillary has had some hairdos...

At some point, she might have worn her hair like that (though likely darker).

But there's NO WAY she walks around looking like she was pinned down by a tranny at the MAC store who wanted to "try something different!" (BTW, if you EVER hear those words by a dude trying hard to look like a lady at the make-up counter, just say no - unless you're leaving the mall for a drag show)

Also, this photo looks like it widened Hillary's hips. I thought she had slimmed down a bit. Whatever. Girl's rocking a pantsuit - oh, wait. I get the irony! Hillary always wears pants, Lady GaGa is allergic to them!

Oh, Glamour! You're hilarious!

Now, who wants to teach me how to use Photoshop?
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