Wednesday, April 14, 2010

I'm Peeved

That is not me. But that is how I sometimes feel.


You see, I have had it with a handful of phrases. Here they are and why they bug me:

My thing is...
First of all, I don't want to know about YOUR THING. Ever. Second, if you're saying it, whatever words come out of your mouth belong to you unless otherwise specified. Useless babble. If you use this phrase often, there's a good chance I tune you out as soon as you get to the word "thing." Stop it.

Really? You're going to tell me the TRUTH? I'd rather you just lie to me! That's how I feel EVERY time someone uses that when giving an answer. Call me naive, but I like to think most people are being truthful. If this is your "go-to," leave it out. Just let me know when you're going to lie to me.

I was going to say that!
Were you? Prove it! And I don't mean by repeating everything I'm saying half a second after it comes out of my mouth. I want actual proof that you were, in fact, going to say it. Otherwise, just nod in agreement, please.

Gee whiz!
That - or any 1950s phrase - has no place in my life. Unless you're being sarcastic about something, then, by all means, bring it on! If you cannot resist the urge to go all "Beave" in conversation, then perhaps you should check out urban dictionary for some modern catch phrases - or find a way to travel back in time to a place where those phrases are cute.

You know what I'm saying?
If you're saying something and giving a little "wink, wink, nudge, nudge," I am willing to bet my future lottery winnings that I will ALWAYS know what you're saying. Knock it off, creep!

I am certain I left out a few phrases. Feel free to share your own peeves in the comments. (Note: if you call me a peeve, I will punch you)
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