Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Not Cool, Borders. Not. Cool.

This morning, while checking my email, I couldn't resist clicking on the message that promised 20% off my entire order from Borders (not that I need any more books as I have a stack of six books waiting to be read sitting on my nightstand). At the top of the message, the Bordersbot chose three books it thought I might like.

Yes! Right on, Borders!

The only problem: I read this book last year. I really liked it, but I don't need to buy it again. Borders should know that, since I am fairly certain I bought it from them. Don't they have computers to keep tabs of things like that?

Another hit!

Like the last one, I have also read this and loved it. I'm also pretty sure I bought it at Borders. Now, every time I buy a book from Borders (or Barnes & Noble), I use my member card to rack up points towards big bargains on more books. So, how did the Bordersbot not recognize that I already own this? I shrugged my shoulders on this, but the third recommendation made me a wee bit ragey.


I am ashamed to admit I bought this - but not for myself. I bought it as a "gift" for someone else (Trevor, don't even pretend that you didn't read it!). I was embarrassed to stand in the checkout line holding this. I didn't even flip through the pages because I didn't want some stranger to judge me (I had already judged myself as slightly douchey that day).

Again, I swiped my members card with this purchase. So how the heck does this happen? Is there some flaw in the Borders recommendation machine? Is this why they're struggling to stay afloat? Are they counting on me losing my short-term memory? Should I really be asking so many questions before I've had my 8th cup of coffee?

I don't know. But I'm so annoyed, I'm not even going to save that 20% off coupon that was just below those recommendations. At least that's what I'm telling myself right now. Seriously. I cannot buy more books. They are teetering on the edge of the nightstand and may crush me in my sleep. That's in my rotation of bad dreams - somewhere between sharks eating me and being lost in a zoo with talking animals playing tricks on me.
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