Sunday, June 27, 2010

Vampires Don't Suck!


Well, I guess they kind of suck blood - but it seems like they drink it more than they suck it. But when it comes to "True Blood," these vampires don't suck. They are creepy, sexy, scary and just plain awesome! Now, I'm not saying I believe vampires exist, but if they are anything like these vampires, I could be completely on board.



Eric and Bill are two vampires who don't seem to mind if they're naked. You won't see that in any other vampire show or movie! I have read the "Twilight" books. They're OK. Like this show, they put vampires in our modern times. But besides the whole needing to feed on blood, they're pretty tame. "True Blood" vampires make those "Twilight" vampires look lame. This TV shows make HBO a must! 

Now, there are a couple of things that I don't like. Seeing vampires crawl out of the dirt to recover from serious injury. All I can think about is the dirt getting into places no one should have to clean dirt from - gross. But more disgusting: Anna Paquin's horrific excuse for a southern accent. I know she's not even from this continent, but her inability to sound remotely southern is an insult. How she has won a Golden Globe for her performance is beyond me. Pathetic.

Paquin's cringe-worthy accent aside, there is a naughty (fun) pattern with this show. I decided this season I would keep tabs of some of that behavior. So, here's what I'm counting:
  • Use of the word f*#k
  • Sex - one full point for a real scene, half a point for imagined scene
And there's one more thing. 

Lafayette.

Love him! 

It's not just the fact that he steps up the gayness in each episode.

It's not the fact that he can apparently cook up a hot meal and sell vampire blood on the side.

It's the fact that he calls people "hooker." How has that not caught on?

So, I'll also be counting the times he says that. 

You'll find the "True Blood" meter on the right all season.

Enjoy!
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