I Die

Now, don't go thinking I need to call a suicide hot line or that I've been keeping a life-threatening illness from you. I'm quoting my favorite stylist, Rachel Zoe.

Yes, she's super skinny and looks a little like the older Olsen twins sister. She has styled some of Hollywood's best dressed starlets. She has such a great eye for accessories, she's now designing her own for QVC (loves it all)!

I have to thank the folks at Bravo for realizing she makes great television. Here's one reason why this show is a guilty pleasure.

So, I signed up for her daily newsletter. There have been some UH-MAZE-EEEENG suggestions.

In my dreams, I have this camera.

I imagine myself snapping photos in a far away place while people stare and ask, "Where did she get that gorgeous camera?" as I smile to myself and reach for another adult beverage. Yes, I drink in my dreams. Get over it.


RZ introduced me to this necklace and it's more reasonably priced look-alike.

These sunglasses make me want to have laser surgery on my eyes so I can stop wearing prescription sunglasses and start wearing these golden gems.

She also won me over with ice cream.

And sometimes, the item du jour helps charity.

But, some days, it's a total miss for me. I mean, I would never wear this.

Not even as pajamas. I've seen a few celebrities wearing these jumpers and no matter how skinny they are, these just never seem to look flattering. That said, you will not see my big behind in that. Ever.

And this really made me roll my eyes.

If I saw a man carrying this, I would think "This guy is really trying to impress the fellas." I mean, look at how dainty that bag is in his hands! What screams, "DUDE!" here? Now, I actually would like one of those bags. I think it'd be great for my laptop! But if I saw a guy carrying this I'd make two assumptions: he's gay or he takes longer than me to get ready.

And this is pretty...

Chanel surfboard. Pretty. Not practical. Real surfers would laugh at you if you got in the water with this. And if you saw a whole flock of surfers (pretty sure that's the actual term for a bunch of dudes who rock the Sex Wax) on Chanel boards, they're likely the most pretentious group of surfers you'll ever meet.

Her site does have some good tips. I do like that the daily email often includes a more affordable option, a sure sign Rachel knows not all of us live on a celebrity's budget. I realize her world is just how I'd like mine to be, only with fewer stilettos (I'm short, but not quite willing to suffer daily for fashion). But those bags and jewelry (ba-na-nas!), anytime Rachel wants to clean out her closet, I'd jump at the chance to haul away as much as I can carry. Just call!

[Not a paid advertisement, but the new season of  "The Rachel Zoe Project" starts tonight!]