Not Even With Your Eyes

Since I was a kid, that movie has scared the bejeezus out of me. Yes, I saw it when I was a kid. Not a great choice by the babysitter, but it happened. It has scared me so much, I will freak out and drown someone if I am in water where I can't see - even if it's a river or lake (I saw the true story behind Jaws and know that some sharks can live in fresh water).

I've even had at least one dream where I saw a shark do this:

The smile says, "Hello." The eyes say, "HELLO, DINNER!"

Don't get me wrong. I totally respect sharks. I respect them so much, I don't want to confuse them by making them question whether I'm a delicious-tasting seal or a horrible-tasting human. I might even check out "Shark Week" (only in the daytime so I don't have shark dreams).

So this is almost scarier to me than getting in a cage and being lowered into an ocean full of great white sharks.

That's an advance peek at Shark Night 3D. The picture alone let me know that this is so not the movie for me. It would not be the least bit fun to watch sharks through those goofy glasses as they lunge off the screen at me, who would likely be trying my best not to pee my pants. I don't care how campy it is. I don't care that Sara Paxton, the object of this shark's desire, says, "I don't think people should go in expecting The Reader, with Kate Winslet."

No kidding.

There's no way I'm even watching this in the 2D version.

Unless I want to stay awake for a week. And I do not.