Not Necessary

Some of you may see this and think it's the perfect getaway. I see that and think it's nice until you actually have to sleep in a bag without heat or air conditioning and constant fear of animal attack.

What is relaxing about having that wake you up?

Also, when you camp, you have to do your, um, business in the wild. I am not a fan of that either. I already check the toilet to make sure there's not a snake that has slithered into the pipes (I've seen it in movies - don't tell me that can't happen!), so the idea of combing the ground for things that could jump up and bite me before I do my thing is out of the question.

Don't get me wrong. I like to sit outside by a fire and look at stars. I just don't want to sleep there. You might think this would be a perfect invention for people like me (and, yes, I know there aren't many of us out there - settle down).

A bubble tent! Think about it: by day, you can sweat inside the plastic on furniture that will stick to you. And by night...

you can try to sleep while spying wildlife that could rip through that plastic and leave you in pieces for vultures and small bugs to finish off.

I'm not even sure I'd use this in my backyard. The neighbor's kid already likes hanging over the fence to taunt the dog and say, "Hi!" so many times to me that I resist the urge to say mean things. Save this post as proof that I can exercise restraint when necessary.

If you think this is some fancy Photoshop work, take a look at the site advertising these getaways. Just because they don't show you the wildlife that could so easily kill you, that doesn't mean it's not there. I promise you, whatever you see won't be as cute and friendly as this.