Saturday, November 20, 2010

Adventures in Chocovine

It's been three months since I first spotted this mysterious bottle in the wine section of my local store.
After I made my immediate decision that it was not something I could embrace, I had a change of heart. Well, actually, it was not a bout of courage but a gift card that meant I did not have to shell out my own cash for something that sounds kind of disgusting.

A little background on this stuff...

As the bottle says, it's a combination of chocolate and red wine. Now, these are things I usually like. But does this drink have to look like Yoohoo? And before I'm accused of burying the lead, I had no idea until I got this bottle home that it has 14% alcohol. Who needs a Four Loko?

On to my mission: drink the bottle and see what happens.
7:30PM - Poured the first glass. Wow. It's really thick and more like Yoohoo than I thought. It smells a bit like chocolate milk, but a bit different. First sip: just a tiny taste to make sure it's not going to make me spew. It doesn't. I have another sip.
It's definitely chocolaty. But I don't taste the wine. There's a definite alcohol taste. I'm not sure what it is. I don't love this (yet), but I don't hate it (yet) either. BTW: Yes, I am wearing my Snuggie. I'm cold.


7:44- I have removed the Snuggie. Having a hot flash. Or am I gonna throw up? I haven't even finished half of the glass. Note: Pour small amounts into the glass. I'm not sure it tastes good once it's no longer ice cold. Maybe I should drink this over ice?

8:06- Making progress on glass number one. My mouth is really dry. And it tastes like I have just chugged a chocolate shake.

8:13- Bored. I have played around on the Internet. Nothing to see there. I'm now watching "Supersize Me." I want McDonald's.

8:23- Can't keep the cat away from the glass. Is this a good sign?

8:33 - I'm a quitter.
My head is starting to hurt. I'm afraid if I finish this glass, I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow. I have the sweetest taste in my mouth - worse than when I eat candy corn until I feel sick.

This stuff doesn't taste awful. It might not be bad poured over ice in a much smaller glass. I'll keep the rest of the bottle in my fridge.
I haven't checked for an expiration date, but I am pretty sure that I won't finish it by the end of the year - unless I get really desperate. I seriously feel hungover now. My head is pounding. The room is not spinning - yet. Oh, my stomach. It's not happy with me. I'm going to go brush my teeth and sit still. If you don't hear from me by Monday, send help.

UPDATE: 10:10AM Sunday
Head still hurts. Stomach is a bit angry. Giving serious thought to pouring out the rest of this stuff so I don't make the same mistake twice. 
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