Thursday, February 3, 2011

Where There's A Sucker...

There's an infomercial. Or at least someone (this girl) willing to sit through an infomercial or scour an ad to see if these people can seriously sell me on some garbage. Here's my latest roundup of products that caught my eye but won't get my cash.

Who wouldn't want to lose weight and gain muscle? And if you can get a little help from a bottle, would you? What if you could look like this guy:
Well, I prefer not to look like a douchebag (even if it means more muscle, less fat). I tried to see his progress on Facebook and, well, it's not exactly a glowing endorsement of the product. It's like the live show of his douchebaggery that you kids miss from that Jersey Shore show. Also, if you're taking health advice from a reality show "star," you really should get a doctor. Or, perhaps you should just go ahead and make me a beneficiary. Just in case.

Speaking of reality TV star advice...

Perfect Skin

Now, I do think these Kardashian sisters have great skin (and hair and eyelashes), but I in no way believe they get it out of a bottle. I think there's a lot of help from makeup and some extensions in that hair. Plus, they have a whole glam team. I have seen what these girls look like without makeup. Perfect skin? Not so much.

Bosom Max
I spotted this ad in a magazine.

I decided I needed to do a little bit of research. I found this ad (it's in Spanish, but I think you get the idea).

Vitamin supplement, some sort of firming lotion and a massager you strap on your chest? Ladies, no. This will not work - not permanently any way. Either be happy with what you have, buy a push-up bra or some of those chicken cutlet thingies or save up for some implants. This is just a waste of money. But if you get one, please post video of yourself using this.

EZ Cracker
I have gone back and forth on this one. Part of me hates getting egg on my hands when cracking eggs. No matter how careful I am, I just can't avoid it. Could this really be the answer to my cooking dream?

Probably not. It seems like it takes a couple of steps, then you still have to get the shells into the trash. But it looks kind of fun.

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