Cases Closed?

Around 4:30 this morning, I thought I heard that familiar beep. It seemed so far away. I let the dog out, brought him in from the cold, then climbed back into bed.

BEEP.

I was too tired to get out the ladder and check the smoke alarm, so I turned on my TV to block out the beeping and managed to sleep off and on until 8:30.

Then, I walked around and realized the beeping was coming from the same part of the house as last time. I climbed on the ladder and changed the smoke alarm battery in my office.

BEEP.

I walked into the guest bedroom, changed the alarm in there.

BEEP.

Convinced it could not be the hall alarm, which I changed a few weeks ago, I called my home alarm company. It took a couple of phone calls (kept getting disconnected while testing the alarm - which apparently you're supposed to do monthly), but that wasn't the problem. Then, as I stood in the hallway, I heard it.

BEEP.

I climbed up on the ladder and stood next to it.

BEEP.

That damn hallway alarm! It was beeping! I called it a few not-so-nice names, then grabbed another battery and replaced it.

FINALLY - SILENCE!

I guess I must have had a dud Duracell battery. Or not. I probably won't find out until the next round of sleep is interrupted by beeping.

Once I solved that mystery, I was on to another one: WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

I kept noticing something that didn't smell 100% poopy, but was mostly foul. I checked the trash can and it didn't spot anything with food on it. I checked the pantry to make sure nothing had exploded and spoiled. I hunted under the furniture in case one of the pets left me a present. Then, because he was bothered by the beeping and pretty much under my feet, I turned to the dog. I picked him up and immediately said, "IT'S YOU!"

I told him he needed a bath and apparently he agreed. He followed me into the bathroom, sat down and waited to be lifted into the tub. To make sure he got extra clean, I gave him a squirt of lemon-scented shower gel (for humans), which turned the whole event into a bubble bath.

Charley actually likes a bath. He immediately drinks the water, then as I get to sudsing him up , he stands still while I scrub every bit of him. He doesn't even mind when I pour water over his head to get the soap off of him. I think his favorite part is the post-bath toweling, followed by the post-bath laps around the house and post-bath nap, which he's enjoying as I write this.

All of this happened before 10AM. That's too much too soon! I still have a full day of work ahead of me. And if I come home to beeping tonight, I just might go completely crazy. Now, excuse me while I Google "how to destroy smoke alarm."