Boys night out! Every week, this show gets funnier! This one started with Michael having gum in his hair. He says he saw something shiny under Stanley's car. Jim says, "Best case scenario, you thought it was a quarter." HA! Dwight tries to help Michael get the gum out of his hair with peanut butter, eventually giving Michael a peanut butter scalp massage.
Ryan comes to Scranton, after telling the office they'll have to work on Saturday because they didn't do their sales on the internet, so now they'll have to enter them online so the website looks more "legitimate." We learn Dunder Mifflin Infinity had its social networking feature infiltrated by sex predators. No one wants to network on the site.
Before Ryan can go, Michael gives him a long hug and says, "I need a girlfriend so bad." He asks Ryan to set him up, Ryan mentions the girls he meets in clubs. Michael and Dwight decide to go to the City and club it up. Meanwhile, the branch decides to work late so they don't have to come in on Saturday.
Michael and Dwight learn Ryan is hanging out at a club call Prerogative. Michael makes a Swingers reference saying "it's packed with beautiful babies." Dwight says the women look like white slaves. They see Ryan, who (surprisingly) is glad to see them.
Back at the office, the gang finishes work, walks outside to realize they've been locked in. Jim didn't call security to let Hank know they were working late. Pam says she locked the office door from the inside. Stanley says, "If I'm not in my bath with a glass of red wine in one hour, you're both dead."
At the club, Michael and Dwight meet Ryan's friend. Dwight says, "You resemble a Tolkien character." Ryan says, "He basically is, man. He's a regular banking wizard." Dwight says, "No, not a wizard. A hobbit."
Jim has an awkward conversation with the security guard because no one can remember the guard's name. We later learn the guard won't be in a hurry, since none of the Dunder Mifflin crew gave him a Christmas tip!
Back at the bar, Ryan goes to the bathroom - which Dwight points out he's done often - then Dwight asks Ryan's friend if he has powers. After being dissed by a girl after she finds out Michael's in his forties, he tells Ryan the place is like a sexy preschool. They decide to leave. Ryan throws his beer bottle on the ground. They're in line at another club and Ryan can't get them in. Dwight meets some Jersey ladies who happen to play basketball (he calls them Amazons), then they use them to get in the club.
The office gang decides to play football to pass the time, until Pam hits Meredith in the face with the ball.
Ryan told Michael to tell the ladies he works in finance. Michael tells a girl he's a bank teller and she walks away. He turns to see Dwight making out with one of the ballers. Michael takes a picture and sends it to the office crew, who all groan when they see the picture on their cell phones.
Michael calls his mom to talk about his girl troubles, spots Ryan dancing like a spaz before the girls turn on him, so Michael goes to his rescue.
The office gang are all sitting around in the lobby. Pam says Michael probably has a theme for their Saturday work session, like Scrambled Eggs Saturday. Toby says it's more like Get Your Boss Laid Saturday. Everyone laughs until Toby puts his hand on Pam's leg. Then, Toby abruptlyl announces he's moving to Costa Rica, then runs out, jumps the fence and runs off.
Back in the City, Michael and Dwight get Ryan out of the club. His little friend says not to take him to the hospital, then takes off. The make-out girl tries to get Dwight to stay at the club.
The cleaning crew shows up to work and they open the gate, so the office crew can go home.
Michael and Dwight take Ryan to his apartment. Dwight sings Ryan a lullaby. Michael says he's going to take Ryan's clothes off. Ryan sits up and says he thinks his little friend has a drug problem. Michael then advises him to do what they'd do on The Wire. Here's how Michael closes the show:
"It's not about horniness, it's about loneliness. How can I be lonely with my boys? Like a famous person once said, boys on the side. But I disagree. I say, let's hear for the boys."