Things Earl Taught Me

These are some of the the things I learned while watching My Name Is Earl from April 17:

Joy: Tick tock - booze o'clock.
I don't like (the boys) spending time in two-story houses. They'll get all snooty and start thinking about college and vaccines.

Randy: Guess what I learned. They call it a six pack because there's six beers in it. It has nothing to do with people's stomachs.

Earl: We're not gonna smoke (pot). Smokin' weed kills brain cells. Drinkin' only screws up your liver. You got two of those.
Joy: Yeah, I don't understand weed. When you smoke, you get the munchies and you get fat. When you drink, you throw up and get skinny. That's just physics.

Randy: Joy, make sure to get flavored vodka. I like it when my throw up tastes like cherry.
Joy: Flavored vodka is for sissies and pregnant women.

Earl: We need something.
Crabman: You need weed.
Earl: How did you know?
Crabman: It's usually what's going on when a bunch of white people walk up to me and start whispering.
Randy: White people are nuts.