Tuesday, December 21, 2010

On The Tenth Day of Tweepmas...

Twitter gave to me ... Patti Stanger.
You may have seen her giving out dating advice on The Millionaire Matchmaker. If you have a lot of cash, she'll help you personally. But you don't have to watch TV or pay for her services to get her advice. It's FREE on Twitter! Here are ten tips from Patti.

Note the key words "IF YOUR GOAL IS MARRIAGE/SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP." Sorry to shout at you, but she preaches that quite often. The creeps who don't abide by that are quite obvious from TV. I wonder why ladies don't see that in real life? I blame too many romantic comedies. (I've warned you here and here)

Ladies, I believe she's talking about your brain. Hmmm. How do you keep that in good condition while watching reality shows on Bravo???

They also like to be told they're pretty. Wait. I might have gotten that wrong.

Unless they're gay.

With The Bat Signal? Or with a bra that has arrows that flash? I'm pretty sure waving your arms and saying, "I'm single. Please look at me." is desperate. And sad.

Oh. It's that simple?

If you want a project, learn a craft. Or get a dog.

But I like black! And I'm pretty sure no one has ever called me boring or unoriginal.

If a guy likes you with so much makeup that it takes three washings to remove it, he's into trannies. You should RUN before you find him wearing your bra and panties.

You should also pray that he never takes you on a date near the water or in the rain. And he should never show up before you've had an hour to blow out your hair. Seems like it might not be such great advice to consider a guy who wouldn't like the real you. But what do I know? I'm not making millions giving this advice. I'm just glad I don't have to pay for it!

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