Thursday, December 22, 2011

On The Ninth Day of Tweepmas...

Twitter brought to me...
KATY PERRY!

If you're not familiar with the pop star, maybe these nine Tweets will give you a little more insight into the girl who likes to dress like the Candyland game come to life.
I can kind of relate. As a recent iPhone convert, I sometimes feel like I have the largest fingers on the world's smallest phone (I don't and it's not). Still, I didn't get the phone for the texting - or even Siri. I got it because of the camera. Really.
I didn't see all of the sketches from Katy's SNL hosting gig, but I did see this one. And it was funny. Just look at what she's wearing! It's like what I wear when I'm REALLY sick. For reals. Mismatched clothes and a Lincoln hat make me feel better!
Seriously, bloggers and tabloids, can you stop speculating about Katy (and all other famous people) every day? You're making me a nervous wreck! With all that Katy shares on her Twitter account, I'm pretty sure when she has news, she'll break it herself. So, back off!
Aww! I wish my cat was sweet and cuddly like that! Instead, he's the devil cat who I'm pretty sure is only watching me when I'm sleeping because he's counting on me not waking up so he can eat me. Katy's looks happy to be there. I'm showing this to my cat so that he understands why I like the dog (and Katy's cat) more than I like him.
My inner child thinks this is the coolest ring EVER! The adult part of me wants to know if that's edible because if it is, it is the best piece of jewelry any girl could ever have!
I can't rate this photo because all I can think of is with that tan and pink hair, the normally cute Katy looks more like a troll doll at an amusement park.
Queso is the best! Wait. Not before bed. That's way too heavy. I've never had crazy dreams from the cheese, but I have felt like I want to punch myself in the gut because I just can't sleep with that queso and chips rumbling around in my tummy. I am old. And possibly lactose intolerant.
What. The. Smurf. Yes, I know Katy was the voice of Smurfette in this year's movie. But as much as I love smurfs and manicures, I could not combine the two. I'd be too worried about chipping a smurf and then it would mess up the whole thing and I'd have to start over. I'd be smurfed. And then REALLY smurfed.
As a Texan, I totally support the cowgirl get up. As me, I cannot take the turkey leg. I hate seeing people eat meat off a bone. It's like cave people. I was not around when they grunted and roamed the planet, so maybe I should make another analogy. It's like watching the ladies of The View eat. Too much.

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