Tuesday, December 20, 2011

On The Seventh Day of Tweepmas...

Twitter gave to me...
KANYE WEST!

Yes, he has an amazing ability to rhyme words over crazy beats. Yes, he knows how to make an interruption. But, y'all, he is one heckuva Tweeter! Here are seven things I learned from 'ye on Twitter.
I hadn't given much thought to what Kanye would want for Christmas, but if I had, this would not be on it. I think those are fancy sheets with a ridiculous thread count. I cannot believe they're not jeweled! Maybe Kanye and I would be good friends. Without good sheets, you cannot get good sleep. I want to add those to my wish list now. Maybe I'll be good at rhymes if I get them!
This kid really IS fresh! I mean, she might as well have walked out of an egg Gaga style! I don't have kids, but I really do believe dressing a kid like this is the sole reason to have children. Plus, there's that tax write off thing. I have no idea who this girl is or why she's dressed like that, but she's completely adorable. Until she poops her pants.
These tweets were made within two hours of each other. It's like he's trying to be positive while waiting for some lady to drop her man for him. I hope she did. He's got an eye for sheets!
I didn't exactly think Kanye was a light traveler, but oh how I would hate to be in the security line behind him at the airport! Who am I kidding? He doesn't fly commercial! Taking a closer look at that photo makes me think maybe I'd try my hand at stealing if he was in front of me. Those sunglasses rock!
I'm counting all of these as one lesson. They're back-to-back. Like Kanye, I don't like people to just show up at my house. Why? Because I might have decided to spend the day in my pajamas without makeup. My place might be a wreck. I might have dirty laundry piled up outside my laundry room. I don't want you to gasp when I open the door then have to stumble past my clothes! Now, those are probably not the same issues Kanye has, but if you show up unannounced, you cannot be mean and complain when I don't have your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid!
Food for thought. Literally.

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